Desperate For Life

The Story

Hello, dear forum members! I am a 26-year-old man from the countryside. I have a good, close-knit and happy family. My health is more or less good. There is nothing to worry about (at least for now ...). Visually, I look just fine - 1, 75 skinny with fair skin, hair and eyes. I am polite and cultured. I graduated at 24 and since then I have not stopped working in my specialty. In the beginning I started in a small company in the neighboring town of my hometown. I spent 4 months there and left because of a low salary, but I had no problems with the team. Even when I think about it, I haven't had one. Then I moved to the capital in search of a better life - and I found it. I have been working for a big company for a decent salary for a year and a half. It is not one of the highest, but it is enough for me that it even remains. I am a workaholic and I always try to get the most out of work. So far so good, if it can be called that ... The problem stems from the fact that I am an antisocial, outsider, introvert type or whatever you want to call him. The people I communicate with are either my colleagues or my family. I need friends, a girlfriend and a NORMAL life, but I can't stand being with people for a long time - they stress me out ... So here's what's wrong with me. I haven't always been like that, I would even be proud to say that I lived my younger years quite crazy. But now I'm stuck healthy. I don't want to go out and socialize with people, I prefer to watch a movie at home and relax. But I have such moments where I feel an urgent need to talk to someone, to share with him how my day went, to listen to his, to help each other with the solution of some life problem - such everyday life ... And when I think that I don't have people like that around me, besides my family, I realize what I am, I even feel sorry for myself, my behavior and the refusal to socialize ... but it hurts and itches .... That's how I've been since I graduated. Let me explain - as soon as I enrolled in college, I met a girl. We started a relationship that lasted throughout my training (4 years). It was my best years, but things didn't work out and we broke up. I have been so desperate and depressed for 2 years now. Everyday life crushes me - I work from 9:00 to 17:00 every weekday, I rest on the weekends. I come home from work and stay with us all the time - that's every day. Saturday and Sunday because I have nothing to do - clean, wash, cook, etc. I support myself and do not rely on anyone, but no one relies on me ... I feel superfluous. I live aimlessly and I feel like I'm wasting my best years. Basically, that's me - boring, a secretive and very special man. I guess you've already formed an opinion about me. Based on this opinion, what would you recommend me to do to get out of the abyss of life into which I found myself ... Thank you for your time!

Last Updated
September 13, 2020
Author:
esportter

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