Hello. I started a relationship with my colleague in the middle of the summer, and from the beginning we were both engaged, but things changed for me because I don't want to lie and I was left alone. Few, but valuable and shared, strong moments - from those that you feel that you have not had others, nor will you have others in your life, words, attitude, as she herself says - "and in long-term relationships such things are missing" - everyone trembles as touched her… I am 34 - without marriage and children, (without housing, but with a visible option for such), she is 29 - also without marriage and children, lives with "her" in his apartment (there is also his housing). In short - I want things to become official between us, but she can't take this step, she doesn't want to part with her current boyfriend - she hesitates and rather seems to be apologizing for not doing so even though she clearly feels happy with me. She is very ambiguous and unsettled in her behavior - she is a serious, smart and sensitive girl, she did not have many relationships, nor is she a "buzz", but the doctrine of "both hurts and itches" is very serious. She indulges in something, and then somehow tries to "hold on to the situation" and deny it and feels guilty about it, and this with me, I have clearly shown that it is not just sex and that "she loved and loved." For ogr. I have given all the time we have to "show" her that she will feel in her place with me and will be happy at least in terms of attention, love, intimacy, sex, communication, etc. I want to spend more time with her, but she refuses to say that she is limited by her relationship, at the same time she says that she needs more time to make such a decision.
My reason for having such expectations for us is that she has shown - both through her behavior and the very fact that she is with me, and in words - that she is not getting what she needs in her current relationship, that hers is not communicating properly or at all. with her, he leaves her alone in some careless way and they move by inertia, he feels that he is tired of him ... but still she pushes him. I suspect that habit and home comfort are what keep her there combined with the fact that she is very sensitive and does not want to hurt the person at the cost of her personal happiness. In general, our relations are hesitant with normalization and degradation with a fairly dense amplitude - its uncertainty affects me, respectively, I withdraw, then return, as such things on her part and on my part distance us from each other - unfortunately it happened almost chronic. "Already" she misses me and has feelings for me, but she still doesn't take any steps or give signals to give a chance to something like "us." For my part, I may have become too insistent and confronted her with a choice she's not ready for, but I think there's enough to consider. I don't like her vague approach, the fact that she wonders and seems to hit him in vain, and tells me that maybe she just takes advantage of the comfort of her habits, and at the same time resorts to me for the excitement as she passes the number, as in last time tries to limit it so that it doesn't hurt me anymore (which is too late). I have the feeling that I am left in the grip of some sweet but unjustified compromise, which she almost makes with herself without considering her desire, and which compromise was set for a limited period of validity - despite their words, emotions and weight.
1 yuichan2002v answered
I am answering the author's question: it will not flow from an illegal real to a legal real relationship. Aok you only want sex, this is ok, but if it's for something more, run away from emotionally insecure creatures with unspecified approaches, no matter how good you are ....