Will I Find Love Again?

The Story

Hello, I am a 20-year-old student. I'll start with the fact that I've always been defined as weird, I hate going to discos, I don't listen to chalga, I don't go out often at all, I prefer to stay at home, cook, clean, read and I feel like I'm born to be a housewife. I'm very sexual and I definitely like to do that too, and everyone I've had an intimate relationship with so far has told me that I'm doing great in bed. I think I am beautiful with a well-shaped body. I had a really serious relationship, I was in eighth grade when this "love" was revived. For three years we weren't always together, he cheated on me with my best friend and many other girls. Going back in time, he laughed at how hard I had taken things, but his actions made me feel inadequate. When I was 18 (summer vacation between 11th and 12th grade) I met a family friend I knew from a very young age. He was 46 then, I know you will accuse me and say I am stupid, but I fell head over heels in love. He showed me a truly gallant MALE attitude, unique sex and I loved it with all my heart. Our relationship ended after a month at my request, then I wanted to return to him, but he never wanted to. For two years now, I have been waking up every day and falling asleep thinking about it, even during the day it is in my thoughts. I haven't slept with another man, I want to be faithful to him, although I know that he has a girlfriend at the moment (even a few ...), but somehow I feel like I'm cheating on myself. Whatever I do, I do for him. I go to the gym to please him when he sees me, I dye my hair for the same purpose. I still love him, but I gave it up. He doesn't want me anymore, he played with me, he saw that I was still a child and he didn't want to come back. I know I have no future with him, but he is still in my heart and I still hope. Will I ever love like that again I had never felt so happy in my life, as if I wasn't on my own, dizzy with love. I gave everything for him and for me he was everything. He made me cry with happiness and I loved him madly. Before I saw him, I felt dizzy, as if I were on another planet. As I have already told you above, I love seka and I hold on to it VERY much, and it suited me perfectly, I knew what and how to do ... I am sure you will understand me. But after him, the others are disgusting to me, I can't look at another, and I definitely don't lack male attention. When will I stop loving him? Will I feel this love again, but will it be shared this time? I have heard from many people that this experience is a once in a lifetime and I am just desperate! I want the same thrills, the same happiness, the same sex ... but how can it happen, given that I can't and don't want to look at another ...? And two years passed ... I met and went out with over 100 boys, but no, he's still in my thoughts. What to do?

Last Updated
November 08, 2020
Author:
soft_lips_on_you1

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