Will I Be Able To Find Love?

Hello! This is more of a story, I'm not looking for help :)! I had a very long relationship with a girl (6 years long, at least for me it is long), which I love very much and still love. About a year ago we broke up at her request. She told me that she was confused and didn't know what she wanted, and here, as you can guess, it turned out that way. She cheated on me with a good friend of mine. No matter how many times I asked her, she always denied it, but I know the truth. Anyway, he dumped her, she was no longer confused and she wanted us to get together. I could not forgive and replied that I was confused now. I used her for sex and oh God, that kind of sex ... because we weren't together and I knew what she did, I wanted her not to feel any affection from me while we were doing it, like she was a prostitute. We both liked it. So we spent about a year. She kept telling me how much she loved me, but even though I still love her, I could not answer those words. Now I decided that this was not healthy for me and I decided to try to forget her. I haven't seen her in about 2 months. I want to forget her so I can move on. To find a girl to fall in love with again and love.

The problem is that I miss him. I miss her, I love her, but after 4-5 years I want to start a family, and she is not the person I want to be my wife. For me, loyalty is the most important thing. In fact, the relationship has many downsides. There are times when you take your partner for granted, there are times when you wonder if you want to be with this person or not, but do you deserve to be in a happy relationship when you can't support your love in difficult times, in moments of doubt and such as? Is there a person with a long relationship who can say that he was happy with her all the time? I know he cheated on me, and I'm guilty of it, but I've never resorted to cheating. I admit there have been times when I miss flirting with a girl, I've looked at other girls, but I would never cheat. I want to ask you, has anything like this happened to you? Were you able to forget the old love without taking a part of you and find the new one?