Why Doesn't He Offer Me Marriage

   It seems to me that you are quite straightforward and somehow marriage has become your only goal. Don't get me wrong, I agree that marriage is perfectly normal in growing a relationship. I myself have a 5 year relationship and only 2 weeks ago we got engaged. I am 24 years old. My thought is that he may feel pressured. You don't say how old you are. But nowadays you don't have to be married until you are 25. Life is now much more dynamic and many couples postpone marriage for at least 28-30 years. There is nothing wrong with that. You say you have a good relationship, you live together ... maybe he wants to enjoy it for a while. After all, we all know how busy our daily lives are. Maybe he doesn't feel completely ready. This does not make him stupid or indecisive. I think it is better to consider everything yourself than to make unprepared proposals. Let him convince himself that he wants to spend his life with you. Don't push him to offer you ... he will probably do it, but it will be a begging offer. It's best when you see in the eyes of your loved one ... that security, that conviction when he offers you ... that you are the choice of his life. I don't know ... think. If marriage is a goal for you in the coming months and you want to have children from this person at all costs ... don't scare him. Give him time, no hints, no questions. Just enjoy your coexistence, your love, your relationship. Everything will come with time. Success! think about it. If marriage is a goal for you in the coming months and you want to have children from this person at all costs ... don't scare him. Give him time, no hints, no questions. Just enjoy your coexistence, your love, your relationship. Everything will come with time. Success! think about it. If marriage is a goal for you in the coming months and you want to have children from this person at all costs ... don't scare him. Give him time, no hints, no questions. Just enjoy your coexistence, your love, your relationship. Everything will come with time. Success!

   You are too attached to the idea of ​​marrying this man, it almost makes your daily life meaningful. Are you happy to sit and think and analyze all day why he hasn't offered it to you yet? Enjoy your relationship, relax and just LIVE. With or without marriage, this is the man you love the most, be by his side and everything will be fine.

   You do not write anywhere what your financial situation is. A wedding, if it's a big celebration, whatever you seem to want, costs money, and the person may not have the opportunity. You do not write if you have your own home, where you live at the moment. Did you even ask him what was stopping him? He can think things in perspective, get settled first, raise money and then. All this does not mean that he does not want you to be the woman next to him, but that he needs time to prepare things. And instead of shaking and stamping your foot like an ankle girl, ask him, talk NORMALLY about what's stopping him, and then complain. Visions for the wedding are individual, there are women who grow up with the idea of ​​a lavish wedding, but the question is whether you can afford it. You don't say exactly what you want anywhere,

   In general, I do not think that marriage is obsolete and even I understand you. But the way you serve it sounds like you're with this person only with the idea of ​​proposing marriage to you, and if he doesn't, there's almost nothing else to keep you from him. Even with such hatred to talk about the man with whom you want to share your life, it seems strange to me, to put it mildly. Think about whether you really want him or just a lot, but you get married a lot and get married and this is your priority in the relationship, and not other things like love, passion, friendship, trust, etc. If only this proposal really matters to you, think about whether you really want to spend your life with this person. Because the wedding will go on and on and then you will have nothing to hope for if nothing else keeps you with this person.

   He has what he wants - you live together and it calms him down. Maybe it's just blinding your eyes with empty promises. If you really want to stop playing tricks on us to lie to you, talk face to face. Tell him that you are no longer 18 just to live with your boyfriend and not think about your future, but you want to start a family with marriage. Tell him that you will be separated from something for a while until he clarifies what he wants and what is important to him. If he starts roaring, tell him it's not a breakup, it's a time for reflection. You are very interesting girls nowadays (in general) - you go to bed on the first date and then you suffer that they treat you like garbage. You agree to live on a family basis with your boyfriend, secretly hoping for marriage, after 5-6 years he gets tired of him and leaves you and you wonder where you went wrong. Well, you always confuse the same thing - you have become very easy and you have no self-esteem - whatever called, called! If you are looking for a serious relationship and have feelings for him - do not go to bed immediately. If the feelings are mutual, he will wait for you for a while, if he counts you, he will play you and he will only do you a favor. If you ever want to get married, you do not agree to live together! It's so simple! Respect yourself to be respected! F24

   Tell him you're pregnant and see how he reacts. If he really wants marriage and children he will raise the issue immediately. If you don't, at least you will know that your doubts are justified.

   The situation is really complicated, but in order for someone to give you an opinion that will have something to do with your situation, I think you need to answer the above questions such as whether you have a home, whether you are financially independent and how old you are. I also think it's important to say how many years you've been a couple and how many years you've lived together. In other words, the situation seems to me in two ways: 1. You are obsessed with the topic of marriage and you suffocate it with this pressure, which creates negativity in both of you. 2. He really hangs around, he likes the situation and does not want to be serious and responsible towards you. It is true that he may have feelings, but you can't not get engaged for 10 years, and you can wait and when you turn 40 to remember to get married or leave. The best option for me is to talk about your worries about your marriage - financial, fear of responsibility or what. Reach a consensus and set a date - I have acquaintances of mine who decided to get married, got engaged and decided to get married in a year or so. Supposedly you don't need to get married tomorrow, but you still have a date - a promise of responsibility, a certain date, etc. Anna

   number 8 .. in what century do you live? open your worldview a bit nowadays everyone lives on a family basis and that doesn't mean you're easy .. don't think that marriage guarantees you an eternal relationship .. you better look at your partner ... right now in these difficult times more and more difficult to agree to live on a family basis what is left for marriage ..

   Number 6 shocked me with the naivety of his opinion, expressed in such a smug way. I don't even know how to comment on this - "If you ever want to get married, you don't agree to live together! It's that simple! Respect yourself so that they respect you!" On the contrary - to get married and have a quality marriage after that is, to put it mildly, it is desirable to have a few months (minimum) cohabitation with the person. Otherwise yes, wedding, and then what? The shock that you don't fully know the person you've married, that you can't accept his or her habits, the frustration of everyday life, all this heated by the fact that you're already tied up forever and you can't just pack up and you leave if you see that living with this person just doesn't work ... Your formula is very wrong for me. But if it suits you, OK. Just don't cry later. Otherwise, I know mostly cohabitations that ended in marriage. This is not a criterion at all, but it is not a criterion at all whether two people will get married, but rather determines the quality of the marriage. It is even quite frivolous for the cafes and the pressure on the benches in the park to jump directly into marriage. Childhood.

   I'm a girl, but if I were your husband's place and I read that, I'd run away with two hundred. Some men rightly said that some women are nightmares and I try to explain that it is not weave, but hey, assure me that there are some. You have been together for a year, what do you want, but marriage and children. Girl, I'm 20, I've had a friend for 3 years, I've been thinking about a child for a wedding, but as we mentioned and talked about, that doesn't mean let's eat olives. Such things are being considered and both parties must want it and the time must come and it also depends on money, don't forget it. Don't rush the person only to leave you the most if you are weaving: X come on and calm down ...

   And have you ever thought that there may be no money, no job and no home ... those babies are made but when there is no money? >>

   Well, schedule a date, invite relatives, make an engagement, organize things too, because men are a little confused in this regard. don't be mad at him for not fucking before the wedding.

   Marriage is simply an institution, an administrative act. Cohabitation is another matter. Church wedding is another matter. Author, you are very aggressive, is that how you behave with the boy? Didn't you write exactly how long you've been together? You are not sure about your relationship, otherwise why would you kick for marriage when you live together and he is next to you? what will marriage change for you? Do you want a wedding? Are you both financially ready for a wedding and a child? Do you have a permanent and well-paid job? Do you have your own shared home? Interesting, if you haven't had a baby so far, then you protect yourself well, how do you succeed :) Do you get the idea that the person next to you is already happy and doesn't want to change things so as not to spoil them? Maybe he is influenced by someone else / his mother for example /? If it weighs so much on you, there is no other way but to ask the question on the edge. You sit down you look him in the eye and ask him "I want to know why you are not proposing marriage to me yet?". The №9 board is a board for lies, pretense and trickery. this is not the way to start a family in my opinion, but the choice is yours.

   Thank you all for your time. Apparently I forgot to mention a lot of things and maybe that's why most people's thoughts go in a strange direction. We have no problems in the relationship, everything is fine, we have a home, we have enough money. What I think is stopping it at the moment is that we are doing repairs that seem endless to me. And I don't see what's stopping us from getting married while we're doing repairs. I don't like the idea of ​​getting engaged and getting married in a year. I want it now, I can't wait any longer. We have been living together for 3 years. I used to be very much against marriage and kept telling him that I didn't believe in marriage as an institution when it came to it. For about a year now, however, I have begun to change my mind. I was not as annoying and aggressive as most people think. Here I say things so directly, but otherwise we have talked a total of 3-4 times on the issue and I have not pressed him for anything. I asked him what his plans were, what he thought, when he thought such things would be appropriate, but by the way, as a calm conversation, not as an interrogation by the police. He always says that this is his dream and the meaning of life - to get married and have children. Number 17 asks me how we protect ourselves from getting pregnant - with a condom and by interrupting the act. In general, we are very careful, because so far a pregnancy would be rather unwanted. I am 24 and I have had a serious job in the specialty for half a year, I want to work for at least another year and then give birth, but I can't blame my soul, I really want a child. It is difficult to resist this impulse. This makes me even more tense. And I want marriage, it may sound strange, like a whim. I know that nothing guarantees. I know that even now everything is ok between us and nothing will change. I like the idea of ​​being married. I want to experience the emotion of the man I love to propose to me and to put our signatures on the paper in the municipality. A modest wedding, only with relatives. I don't want his money, I don't want to suffocate him, I have no illusions that this will guarantee me something in the future. I am one of those people who want to experience everything in this life. It doesn't bother me to divorce in years if it doesn't work out. I'm not afraid to be a single mother even (although this will not happen, he is a very responsible person, but even if it happens, it does not scare me.). I have a very well paid profession even for Bulgaria, which I can practice all over the world. At least that's what I managed to achieve. So I'm not afraid of poverty and I wouldn't be with a person if I didn't really love him. He knows that too. I don't press him for anything and I'm not tied in a towel. If he doesn't like something and doesn't get into his plans, he knows - he tells me, we shake hands and everyone on their way. What worries me is that nothing is happening. I want to prompt him in some way, but delicately and within acceptable limits. While we were fighting and talking about some cousin, I asked him what he liked, and he told me "for now you're just my boyfriend". I don't know how to interpret that. I don't expect to fix all the rooms and then get engaged. Probably the people here don't understand me correctly, they immediately start delving into some dramas, and I just want advice. I'm sure he doesn't turn me around and use me, he's just useless, he has everything. So, do you think it's appropriate for me to raise the issue, won't I spoil the romance this way? What would you do in my place? The author

   Hello! My story is also on this topic. We have been together for 2 and a half years now, I want him to offer me something more serious, considering that he has completely decided to live together and start a family, but I want things not to drag on. So I want to ask for advice on how to delicately hint to him that it is time for more serious steps to find out what he thinks, but in no case will I press him if I find out that he has no such intentions at the moment. Thanks in advance!

   I understand that you want him to take the initiative (isn't he a man), on the other hand YOU want marriage and children, and he doesn't mind. And that's something. It is obviously acceptable for him anyway, but not quite for you. So, where there is a fairy tale, everyone forges his own destiny. Take the hammer and forge. Disgusting - not disgusting, that's it. And I waited, waited, and as I approached my 30s I shouted: either a wedding in 3 months or you won't see me again. And for authenticity, I "ran away" from home for a few days. It could mean. Then the same drama for the child and finally ... Yes, disgusting, but now I'm looking after a baby and I'm happy. This is what I learned: my desires are in my hands, not in his.

   From the above, at least for me it became clear that you have a different opinion on the issue of marriage, and it is still an important issue. I think that he either doesn't consider you the woman he wants to spend his life with you or at least part of it and therefore doesn't want marriage, or there are those who just watch the gossip and take advantage of men's time while they can. it doesn't work, it's not like women. Therefore, these things do not happen by force and it is better to look for a person with your understanding of marriage, and not only for him. But do not drop the branch until you hold on to another.

   Author, as far as I understand, you only hinted at him delicately in the last year or so. Before that, you even hated the idea of ​​marriage. How do you know that he, for example, may want to propose to you, but thinks that you hate the institution of marriage? I also see that you somehow change your mind on whims. Before it never occurred to you, now hop, I want marriage, children immediately. Suddenly you even say that you don't mind becoming a single mother and you decided all this just like that? Just see for yourself what you want, think, because if your husband listens to you, he will be very confused about what to do.

   Learn to knit and start making baby slippers - do you think I'm kidding? No, I'm not kidding, have you heard the saying "I'm telling you woman, remember daughter-in-law" - I don't think a man can tell a woman how to ask for her own, but not in plain text, but in a feminine way, with a nod. , with hints, with a wet look. You don't have to say I want a baby, it's enough to show it, enjoy the strangers, hug them, tell him how nice they are. You don't have to say I want marriage, but you can arrange meetings and visits mostly with family. Force the repairs, personally commit to getting things done as quickly as possible - I can't imagine looking after a baby in a home that is under permanent repair. It's a little bolder, but it's not unacceptable to share that you've opened an account where you raise money for a wedding, that you want to participate equally in the organization of such an event - he is hardly so stupid that he does not guess where you are fighting and that the time is ripe. Nothing in plain text, no ultimatums, don't procrastinate, but don't press, just show that you're ready - you said yourself that some time ago you mentioned that marriage is not important to you, now you have to SHOW him the opposite. Good luck and calm the ball down, you sound nervous, and it won't help you.

   The poor man. I hope it happens at least with the lottery

   There is a rule - if a man does not propose marriage to a woman, it means that he expects to meet something better. I'm sorry, they will reproach me a lot, but that's right.

   He may not want to get married, if you want you can offer him ...

   Next to the author Mila, before I read your second post with the clarifications, I almost sympathized with you ... it sounded like a harassed, slightly hysterical woman of about 32, who has been in a relationship for about 8-9 years and is really stuck in one place. However, when he said that you were 24 and all these explanations for the repairs, etc., it became clear to me. You're just another hell of a spoiled girl who wants everything here, now and now. She didn't wait any longer (?) On the 24th .. can you hear me .. that's why there are so many divorces .. because the little leagues who haven't earned a penny and mom and dad have fed them with a silver spoon want the sweethearts to see brides, upload photos on Facebook and their girlfriends envy them and say to themselves "God, he loves her so much, they even got married" You have been working in the specialty for half a year, Congratulations, but you said it as if you were the CEO of a holding company .. your self-esteem was a little lower and you stopped knocking on the floor with the crystal shoe, that soon your boy may decide that you see that he really wants children and marriage, but not from a minor like you. At 24, I couldn't get together from parties and restaurants. You were obviously born in the wrong age. One hundred or two hundred years ago you would have been very busy - if you don't know what I'm talking about, read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice

   Talk. Tell him how you feel and what you want.

   I think it's perfectly okay to sit down, talk, and ask him a question. If you want different things in your life, why waste time with it? Number 28 - darling, the author does not have to wait for some shaky madurok to come until she is 40 years old and then find out that she has reunited with a boy and not with a man for family life, so slightly with the sarcasm and the irony. Her life is hers and the consequences of wrong life decisions will still be hers. If it was only for marriage - come on somehow .... but also children if he does not want? !! Well, what the hell is this "man" for, just to say that he is there? !!

   Let me tell you, I don't know, the method of number 24 may work, but I think it's just very comfortable for him, so there is no internal incentive to change the situation. In my opinion, your age is ideal for a family and a child, so I think you should say 'all or nothing' to him once and for all and leave. Let him have time to be alone for a while and decide if he really wants a family with you. If the answer is yes, it will definitely run, be sure. If you don't want to press him, I'm afraid you may have to wait another 5 years or more for him to do something. You decide what is important and what you can ignore

   A year later we are at the same stage. Nothing has changed, no matter how hard I try. The delicate conversations did not work. His logic is that he wants us to get married when we finish the renovation, although we have both made it clear that we do not want to have a wedding with rituals and guests, but only to sign. Well, it doesn't cost money, nor does it affect our endless repairs. I have already come to terms with the fact that I can't expect anything significant from him and I even think that maybe that's how it got better. Probably fate protects me from a huge mistake and I will soon find the right path. And just to say at 28 that Mom and Dad never took care of me. My grandmother raised me on a limited income and I never get anything ready, I have been working for 7 years without interruption, and for a year and a half now I have a real profession with which I pay the utility bills, repairs and everything else. He does not draw conclusions about the people from two posts. I asked something essential, I did not want a psychological analysis from incompetent haters.

   Oh, darling, I, like you, posted a similar topic here recently. But I'm older than you and I don't have time to waste anymore. Don't look at those who write that you are obsessed with the idea of ​​marriage and that you didn't want anything else from the person ... blah ... blah. They got married early or are still very young and will think like that for another year until their time to think about family comes. Normal development of things is after a long relationship the relationship to move to another stage. When after 3-4 years someone avoids the topic of marriage, the reason is one - he thinks he can meet someone better (a), of course, if there are no other really serious obstacles). I made sure of that! I think that a repair is not a reason not to discuss a future family. I waited, I hinted, I hoped he wanted to surprise me, so he didn't raise the issue. Alas - nothing like that! He was just procrastinating. And I thought that the man was the one to offer, I wanted romance, etc. When I decided that I had nothing to wait for, there were rude scandals, insults, many unpleasant things came to light and so on. now we are supposed to get married - he claims that he wanted it, he did not want us to separate. However, the situation is already very ugly - we continue to plan nothing, there is no thrill, no expectation, no ideas of what to do with this wedding and the subsequent family life. Well, I don't believe that he wants it (I just see that he doesn't want it), I feel like a parasite someone who "forced" him to "agree to marry" and I'm already wondering what this marriage was for me, I don't have desire for it more (and I'm 30). So I think you're very right to think that fate protects you from error and so it is better. There is no point in hearing one day that you forced him to make the mistake, that he was in a hurry, etc. It is true that men are more cowardly and probably more accountable, but we also have some feelings and dreams - things have to be balanced in some way. Patience, patience, hope ... but everything has a limit. Although I am not in a position to give much advice, I would still tell you: Talk to him only once, but very seriously and tell him that you want to know at all costs what his intentions are. It is possible, however, that the person is really waiting for the end of the repair, that he has something in mind - a pleasant surprise for you, so you are obliged to give him this opportunity. (I don't understand what this infinitely long repair is, but you know). But I have to assure you that he has intentions, not hangs you on purpose. Let him know clearly that there is some limited time (after the repair is completed) to clarify his intentions, after which you will leave him if he does nothing. It is permissible for him not to want marriage, but it is not permissible for you not to know what he wants. After a few years together, it is imperative to talk openly about who wants what and what plans they have and decide if you will unite them in one future! He tries with hints 1, 2, 5 times, but not indefinitely, because it may not be super profitable for him to pretend to be pinched indefinitely. In the end, the relationship is so worn out by these hints and eternal expectations and torments - just disgusting! I don't want you to get as far as I do! I have already made sure that if you are your beloved and only husband, he will not think long whether to prove it to you. However, if he is afraid of being "wrong" ... Good luck!

   I bet this repair will never end

   Do not jump to conclusions, but I will tell you something personal. I had an 8-year relationship. in the last year of our relationship we had started a major overhaul of the apartment, he was like crazy, he drew sketches for each room, he was constantly trying to look at us and choose furniture, colors, paints, for glazing I only spent 2 weeks. some of the things he personally does, incl. toilet table for me. In the midst of the repairs, we broke up. (The reason is that he was painfully jealous, for no reason, for no reason) Later I went west, I started a new relationship, he too. A few YEARS later I return to Bulgaria for a while. We see him, we tell each other things and he shares that they are still in a relationship with the woman they met later and that he is making repairs so that they can live together. (already had about 5-6 years relationship) So far ok! The next day he called me asking me to help him with something, to see something that has arrived in his apartment and to give my opinion. I would have fallen when I saw that the apartment was actually in the same position it was when I was there. The sofa had arrived and he wanted to hear my opinion. I told him, of course, SHE had to like him. But not! He was adamant that my opinion was important. I don't like the sofa at all. Accordingly, he immediately called to say that he wanted to change it and asked me if I would accompany him to consider it together. I refused on the pretext that I was very busy. Throughout my stay in Bulgaria, it rang every day, .... I will glue tiles, I will paint ... do you want to see, to express your opinion ... After I left back, we heard each other think about a month later, he said he had stopped repairs again. That he didn't have a muse! And so to this day, 3 years have passed, we still hear each other sometimes, and I don't know with what hopes that woman keeps waiting and hopes ... for what. He has always been extremely caring and responsive with me, he kept his word. I know him that way. That's why I don't understand his attitude towards the other woman, .... Are you sure that YOU are the wife of his life for him? !!

   Author: Thank you for writing to me. Number 35, our story is a little different with the renovation. It is really a matter of lack of sufficient funds, which is why he pretends to be a master on a trial-and-error basis and everything happens extremely slowly. If I didn't raise money for materials, we wouldn't have done so much. Not only does he not have a muse, he lives in a fictional world. Three years ago, when I first opened a conversation on the subject, my family told me that they were waiting to win the lottery first, and then we would buy a house, get married and have children. I would faint. Then, for the first time, the light came on that this man was stupid or spinning me. On other grounds, he hadn't betrayed himself that much. Yesterday we had another scandal-like conversation. It was after our next anniversary. I couldn't stand my nerves and told him everything. I asked him directly what is waiting? Should we grow old? Am I tired? He grabbed his head, burst into tears, and said he didn't know what to expect. Well, of course, first was the regular tirade for repairs. I told him we were finally breaking up and I had no intention of wasting any more time with a frivolous man like him. Now I don't know what to do. Should I really leave or should I keep waiting. All the cards are already on the table. It seems to me that we have reached the moment that 33 is talking about. As if I myself no longer want it. It was as if I had swallowed too much bitterness to rejoice at a begged offer. The only thing stopping me from packing is that I have nowhere to go. I have no relatives to rely on, and I don't want to run into friends. I'm just on the street. I invested all my savings in this apartment. I put all my hopes and plans on this man. I have nothing but my job.

   if you don't leave now, when? if you stay, you show him that you are only scaring him, but you are addicted to everything, just to be with him. you can spit on your investment, or you can continue to invest in the apartment and leave later even poorer. take a loan of BGN 200, go to a hotel and find accommodation as soon as possible or with friends at first, but with the newspaper with the ads in hand. you still have a job, and without it ?? you will recover and you will be glad that you did not give him even more effort.

   Agree with 37, as he said the cards are on the table all in. Now or never, you have to show that you are determined. He takes you for granted, go out and make him feel your absence for a while. Let him chase ... and if there is no interest you will be aware of the situation and you will move forward, because time is running out, you are fully aware of what you want and life is too short ...

   Well, there are many such men - they are not in a hurry, they hang around and always avoid the question of marriage ... Why is he not decisive - there is a barrier to that. Maybe it's scary for them to commit and say goodbye to their freedom and detachment. It's just easier that way. Whether he is looking for something better is not certain. He doesn't bother to get married - it's a commitment for him, and he wants to drive her like that. And he can hardly get into your situation and understand you. Your age is perfect for having a baby. And your instinct tells you so. You can break up "temporarily" with him to see how he will react and whether he will intend to marry. If you do-goodbye. You can rent a room for less with a grandmother, it does not have to be a whole apartment.

   Up to 37, 38, 39. A man writes to you a little over 30. Given your absolutely extreme and meaningless comments, which are very similar to those of today's woman, I think it should be clear to you that we do not accidentally prefer to be alone. You cannot become more and more emancipated, extreme, vicious, uncompromising and get everything at once, without giving anything of yourself, but in words to be the top. The man in order to get married in the first place wants to have security created by himself, which is done with a lot of work and work. If he does not achieve this, he does not feel fully, I would even say that he is angry and ashamed that he cannot provide what he feels he has to do. Now let's look at the other point. It often happens that a woman plays a role, pretends to be something she is not, just to get married. Personally, I have witnessed this from personal experience at least 3 times. Dear ones, the more time passes, the more you realize that this is a script for a horror movie. It turns out that the more time passes, the less you know the person next to you, the more nonsense comes out for this person. And of course there are men who have spent time, whose experience serves as that of the unmarried. Also, as an unmarried man, I realize that it is much easier to be like that than to be divorced. A divorced man these days means being blackmailed by your ex-wife for money if you want to see your child often. I have at least a dozen friends who got married before the age of 25, their relationship seemed perfect at first, with a lot of love and mutual concern. 90% of them fell apart, because after the birth of the child it turned out that women no longer want their husbands. They were malnourished, they were what they were, and the desire for divorce was always on the female side, and it was so hard for them: "difficult" for these ladies that they immediately found solace in another man to "support them emotionally." they are in a hurry, they don't bother about it, as you call it, it's very easy to be just consumers, to spin two or three or more men, to pretend to be very smart, but it comes at a price :)

   №35, obviously you can't tie 2 and 2 ... It's a pity ... Didn't it occur to you that you are the "other" woman?

   H 41, you didn't understand something;))) I didn't put the other one in quotes, that is, I didn't put such a meaning. H35

   There is a very simple truth (at least for me). For true love, things like marriage, children, and so on, and so on, mean nothing. They are just a kind of bonus to being with the person you love. There are so many love stories between lovers that far from having these "bonuses", a love much stronger than that between spouses. So, get down to earth. Marriage is not a whim, it is the same worldview, harmony between the partners. It doesn't mean love, it doesn't mean he's determined, he doesn't mean he wants to grow old next to you. Marriage is not a sign of any of these things (because you could have them without getting married). It all comes down to human principles. And if you can't accept that, it's really better to leave.

   You can always take the initiative and offer it to him. We do not live in the 15th century. The important thing is to make it fun and easy, not to win the man. But if you dream of a big wedding, a lot of girlfriends, photos and things like that, you better get them out of your head. These things are obsolete. Lots of time, money and nerves to scratch a scabies, and most of the time to the parents.

   My situation - 4 years together, 1 child, I want marriage, he does not want to hear ... it begins to reflect on our relationship. Advice?

   Unfortunately, you are also a complex "eternal youth". I don't want to offend you in any way, but you didn't have to list all the "flaws" of women here, you don't help at all. Were women emancipated and consumers? We are emancipated, yes, but you men obviously like it very much, otherwise this situation would not have happened. I understand that a man wants to create stability (at least he should), but life is not eternal and it is not possible just by asking. It is convenient to say that you have not yet achieved what you want, but you may never achieve it - dreams do not always become reality. In women, biological functions are also limited in time. Aren't you saying that the desire to have a child is consumerism? So, which of the two do you ultimately support - the woman to wait patiently for the man to " Of course, it is not necessary for anyone to marry, but when one feels it as a necessity, then he will feel oppressed when the other does not want it. This is hardly love anymore, because it means that the two are not looking in the same direction. That is, I agree that it all comes down to principles. For lovers it is a completely different topic - just the inability to be together keeps their thrill, and even without the mundane - there is nothing to ruin the relationship, and it is very easy to love. To number 44 - that sounds a bit like a joke. She told him she wanted a marriage, and that seemed enough to me, and it was a kind of proposal. But another way to offer him? Should I buy him a ring? Shouldn't there be a little female dignity, even though it's the 21st century? Then people like number 37 will accuse her of "masculinity." Besides, the girl wrote several times, that he is not waiting for a big wedding. Number 46, unfortunately you're in a hurry. These things are decided before the child, you did not have to get pregnant once you wanted marriage. Here are men like the author and like mine, who do not want marriage in general, how to make them after having a child? You are bound to him through the child and he feels even more that he commands the parade. I think it's hard to get him to do it - only through scandals and threats to leave him, but that inevitably spoils the relationship. You better not insist if you want to keep the "family". Instead, try to become independent when the child grows up, then he may be startled that he is likely to become "redundant" and want to "bond" through marriage. you didn't have to get pregnant when you wanted to get married. Here are men like the author and like mine, who do not want marriage in general, how to make them after having a child? You are bound to him through the child and he feels even more that he commands the parade. I think it's hard to get him to do it - only through scandals and threats to leave him, but that inevitably spoils the relationship. You better not insist if you want to keep the "family". Instead, try to become independent when the child grows up, then he may be startled that he is likely to become "redundant" and want to "bond" through marriage. you didn't have to get pregnant when you wanted to get married. Here are men like the author and like mine, who do not want marriage in general, how to make them after having a child? You are bound to him through the child and he feels even more that he commands the parade. I think it's hard to get him to do it - only through scandals and threats to leave him, but that inevitably spoils the relationship. You better not insist if you want to keep the "family". Instead, try to become independent when the child grows up, then he may be startled that he is likely to become "redundant" and want to "bond" through marriage. how to make them after a child is already there? You are bound to him through the child and he feels even more that he commands the parade. I think it's hard to get him to do it - only through scandals and threats to leave him, but that inevitably spoils the relationship. You better not insist if you want to keep the "family". Instead, try to become independent when the child grows up, then he may be startled that he is likely to become "redundant" and want to "bond" through marriage. how to make them after a child is already there? You are bound to him through the child and he feels even more that he commands the parade. I think it's hard to get him to do it - only through scandals and threats to leave him, but that inevitably spoils the relationship. You better not insist if you want to keep the "family". Instead, try to become independent when the child grows up, then he may be startled that he is likely to become "redundant" and want to "bond" through marriage.

   Hello Sweetie! I understand you! I have a 7 year relationship behind me! And I want to tell you that a relationship without development is like a hearth ... if you don't put wood in it, it won't burn! For 7 years I was tormented by a man who took me for granted and never offered me marriage, for him this topic was taboo! Not to mention children, absurd. So if you have been together for a very long time and if he really wants you to be the woman next to him, he has offered you so far! Such cowards, whom I drew from a more serious commitment, are clear to me! He wants you to be together, but if possible without marriage. Why? Because it's easier that way! And to say about the money, you don't have to spend a lot of money ... if this person wants you, he will marry you, even with only the two witnesses! So decide for yourself what to do! I broke up with the one I was with for 7 years, and I met a really wonderful person for which I am terribly happy! Think carefully, is it worth wasting so many years and finally seeing that you are a gift to him that will never go away in his eyes! Greetings.

   When you meet a loving and understanding person, but he did not immediately offer you marriage and children - you abandon him and catch up with the first person you meet. After 2-3 months you decide that he is not for you and start looking for another. You find another and it disappoints you again. Already completely deranged, you decide to return to the one who really loved you and with whom you eventually got along, even though he did not propose marriage to you and did not make you children and you want a new beginning. Sorry, but it won't happen, you'll be a cuckoo. You will jump like a grasshopper from one man to another. You will always be dissatisfied with problems. And when you do not understand the thoughts and humor of your husband, then HE is stupid. WELL DONE! May you be alive and healthy dear ladies! I hope I'm wrong, but let it be as you say - there are passengers for every train. Seek your "happiness" even at the cost of the broken hearts of the people who love you!

   He probably understood what you were .....

   Number 49, wouldn't you like to have a marriage and children with the person you're with after so many years? Or will you tread in one place .... Party outings? How long? After all, isn't it the meaning of everyone's life to start a family? What else will you live for .... The most wonderful thing is to have a child with your loved one and let it grow before your eyes! There is nothing more wonderful in this world! So if you haven't experienced something like this, your comment is absolutely out of place!

   Well, offer him something, not remembering it yourself. Especially since he told you he wanted you to get married and have children and grow old with you. Tell him you want to choose a date and tell your relatives. If you find an excuse or reason to procrastinate, run away and don't waste any more time.

   Author, is there any development?

   I am in a hurry to answer without reading the other comments, simply because I have been in exactly the same situation for 5 years. And when after a long time I asked my husband, "What was that job? Why didn't you propose to me for so long?", He replied, "Well, I was married to you." Do you understand, author? For them, their commitment is a commitment, regardless of whether it is legally formed. In your man's head, you have long been his "wife." The rest for most men are some annoying details and unnecessary noise. Especially if their mind is elsewhere - business, hobbies, science, etc. I do not give you advice, but once, 10 years ago, I left my husband because I decided, just like you, that this relationship has no future. After a week of bachelor life, the boy came to my parents' house with an engagement ring. Literally the next day after my "yes" I personally made an appointment at a church for the wedding and a restaurant for the wedding. And we signed the same week. It is not clear to men, author, that a formal marriage for us women is a guarantee of a serious commitment. Even today, my husband understands this only in theory, in practice he can not understand what the difference is.

   I wonder why you are married - a piece of paper that says you are married and can be canceled at any time? The only difference is that when one of the two dies, the other will have part of his inheritance if you were married. The rest is just unnecessary quarrels about everything, even if you apply for a children's monthly allowance or loan ... Do you imagine that when you get married something will change in a positive direction ??

   given that so many who have married at 25, at 40 are divorcing, the topic seems redundant.