Well, you married him and you gave birth to his child, why do you ask us ??? How do we know what's in your ex-husband's head ???
Well, because in most cases the lover took half of the property, for which she did not even move a finger.
An egoist and I have a child and I watch him, it comes first and then everything else.
Nasty men are that. There are many of them, they are not given. The woman is watching, and the man likes a minimal amount of support.
If you are clear that his income is normal (you have lived together after all) and you allow him to help you with such an insignificant amount without putting pressure on him, to treat his child responsibly and the expenses you take care of related to him means you are to blame for allowing him to do whatever he wants, and you take care of everything yourself ... And my opinion of him on the written information does not make sense to comment on it ... And the child will grow up and understand many things .. Talk to him and make him take responsibility ..
Because that's how they give it back to their wives. In your situation, he is to blame, but obviously by not paying, a winner emerges in his eyes. It is sad and unfortunate.
This is so pathetic and idiotic that I can't speak at all. The amount itself is so ridiculous that what to comment on - 140 are the fee for the garden, a jacket, and some shoes. I personally don't have a logical explanation /
Because you let him. You are both careless with the child. He doesn't pay, you're not looking for your money. This is the money due to the child, and you deprive him of it by not judging the father.
You are not doing well, because this money is for your child, if he has not done it when he cannot look at it, do not try to be good in his eyes, he will not reciprocate with anything good, he has stabbed you in the back, he betrayed you and his child, he will not grow up in a normal family of two parents.
If he has a fixed salary, condemn him, even if he receives a high salary, not 140 but 240 can do it. The costs will be at his expense!
And if he doesn't give it to you, they will deduct it from his salary and he has nowhere to run.
Be a parent to your child, not a maid to your ex
Because the court has so ordered.
There are people who would offer to pay without obligation if they knew that the money would go to the child.
And I want to know the answer to that question. My ex-husband had brazenly told me that he would not pay alimony unless he took the child and gave it to his mother to look after. Indeed, he did not support himself after the divorce. He even allowed himself to harass us, and then I was angry and had to pay all the alimony for a few years ago, because I notified the prosecutor's office. Well, pay them, but now he's telling me how I robbed my acquaintances and how I want my parental rights to be mine to take his money. It is about the dirty 200 per month. He obviously thinks that by talking to me I will tell him not to pay, but he is very confused, I do not intend to deprive my child, because he is irresponsible and has children, who then decides not to look after him. He is clearly wrong in this case, but there are many normal men who are the same immature scoundrels. And I can't explain it to myself, as if we want this money for us, not for their children. A man, if you can explain this logic to me, because it's very interesting to me. And there was no property here, this man did not give me anything, even I made a little more money from him, which went into the family budget and I did not make it a problem, and now he does not want to pay child support.
Whether most pay or not and why, you do not shine. The question is how to make your ex pay more and it is useless to ask him here, but to a lawyer.
You know it, you have to know it. In my opinion, he knows that you will be fine and that's why he doesn't get involved, and obviously his new wife is his priority, he wants to keep her and tries to give her time and money. And not to bother her with having a child. . Look for them in court, you will take them for the three years back, you have nothing to feel sorry for, and this is your child's money, which apparently your husband spends on his new wife.
This support is for the welfare of your child and your decision not to claim it in full is a mistake. He has it for the sea, he has it for a boyfriend, does it turn out to save the child? You protect the rights of the child legally. With a court. You're used to it without any problems. And he went to sea, but he did not. Good job! He will work like that for you all his life. 140 is enough money to support a child, if he is not so willing to give - to forget about McDonald's. And here it is not a question that he does not exist, he manipulates you.
For men - nothing. To the lizards you take for men already ... well, I can't answer there.
Well, start claiming your rights. 50. are nothing, you have the right to receive full support. How can you be so naive? If he doesn't pay his alimony, you can even put him in jail. If you ask him a question seriously, he will start paying for it every month. Separately, as the child's age and needs increase, you will have the right to an update (if you request it) in court.
Because he is not a literate person, he doesn't care so much about his child. There are quite a few such people, but, like a man who didn't even have a mother who cared about me, and they dumped me on my grandparents because it was more convenient for them, do me a favor and don't let him Get away. Do what is right. As long as this amount of 140 is ridiculous, I am convinced that your expenses for the child are not 280 per month, right ?? * this is a rhetorical question *
My thought was to do what is right, do not allow your kindness to become a weakness, if a volunteer does not want to take responsibility for his son, then seek it through the court.
And most importantly, when the child grows up and asks you why his father is not interested in him. You won't tell him, I don't know, darling, your father is like that ... wow, such mothers get me off track, and I feel like you're just that type. The answer is one: Your father is not a good and responsible man.
Because children very easily blame themselves and think that they are not enough or they have made a mistake somewhere and therefore do not receive love. You have to be very clear that his father is not a good father because he is not a literate person and you made the mistake of starting a family with such a person, but you are grateful because now you have a son who is the most wonderful thing in your life. .
I haven't read the topic to you yet, but I will comment and then read it to you, I promise.
Do you have a representative sample that "most men" do not pay alimony? No? Then you don't know if they pay her or not. If you have statistics, please excuse me!
And one more thing, why doesn't my mother pay my father alimony for my sister? Maybe I should write a topic that most women who have no children left do not pay.
"The costs will be at his expense!"
He is very careful with such excuses. The costs that the court may oblige to pay will be the court costs, but it is not the lawyer's fees, which from "allegedly 250" become 1000 very quickly, and the lawyers always demand an advance payment. If the outcome of the case will be "35 over the current alimony", it may be better not to conduct such a case at all.
And in order to pay 240 alimony, you have to prove expenses for the child of 480 per month. I just want to wish you success with this, because I don't believe it will happen.
Go to bed with gypsies and peasants and then wonder what's going on.
Sorry, but you have to seek maintenance in court, this is not your money, and your child's duty as his representative is to represent his interest. Now immediately go to a lawyer and resolve the issue, even look back in time what he has to pay. These BGN 50, if they are not acknowledged, it is as if he did not give them. You should have no pity for him. The responsibility is yours, no matter who lives with whom and the CHILD suffers if only one takes it and the other does not. So take matters into your own hands and go to support your child. The child does not care at all who CAN pay how much. He CANNOT wait until you can support him and until then he doesn't eat, drink, walk naked and barefoot and doesn't go to school. The higher the costs, the more the child grows. Why they don't pay alimony doesn't matter at all right now, and your feelings and tears don't matter either. Tighten them both together and TOGETHER provide for your child's standard.
It is quite clear that the author does not pressure the father to pay the alimony in full, so as not to lose the child and his father completely.
Judge him to the end, not to catch his breath, take away his parental rights. He who makes children is obliged to support them. He has to realize. I am a second wife and after the divorce the 14-year-old son chose to live with his father because of his good financial situation. The young man and I got along, I never thought he would go live elsewhere or deprive him of something. If the father deprives one child, he will deprive the other, even though his father and I have no children, we are happy for his grandchildren.
Do not deprive the child of the money he deserves, 50 are one bag of products! And nothing expensive!
Darling, he was hardly a stable and responsible man in the beginning, and after the divorce he became a swindler. It was probably the same commodity, but that's why you used to like it, and now you've become a victim.
Women, seek your rights! Why do they do it? Because they have the feeling that they will go unpunished. If you ask from a purely moral point of view why - because they are soft and do not shine for the child. It is easier for you to raise him and for him to appear when he is already 20 years old. Until then, he will wave his ass in restaurants and muffins, and as he gets older he will think of the child.
Tip - Always bet on a good divorce lawyer. If he does not pay his alimony - a lawsuit. If it bothers you - complaints. This is the only way these people understand. Always get out of the emotional side of things. Emotion does not help, it only hinders. With or without love, no bill is paid. Ask for your money and do not compromise. Didn't you make this child yourself?
Many men have abdicated their role as men and the stronger sex! It is! It is not easy to be responsible and take responsibility! They drive on the thinnest resistance and whatever came :)
On the other hand, we are to blame for not seeking the rights of our children!
With us, to say that I lied and cheated in it is not. Six years of relationship, 17 years of marriage. He has always been a responsible, caring person. Then did the hormone rupture, what happened to him ... I have no explanation. For two years not a single lev for the child. Sometimes he is looking for a job, sometimes his salary is raised. And I keep giving way. Not to mention that he doesn't spend time with his child, let's see each other! I'm mad at him! I have given another 3 months and then the end of the discounts!
Well, as long as you take such mice for men, it will be so.
M36
As unpleasant as it is for me to say it, there comes a moment when a person itches what he has crushed, ie. pays for the wrong choice.
The author to read a little on the topics and comments about the sought-after and cool "men", "bad boys", "confident, strong", fitness, fateful love, etc. Continue to consider modest, unobtrusive, "ordinary" men as moldy and traveler, then ask, "Why doesn't he care about me or the child?" Because you have to understand the hard way that not everything that shines is gold and not everything that flies is eaten.
100 percent at least 90 percent of the comments are of women greedy for money. That's all they care about ... what do some 50-140-200-500 change? Once you have not dealt with the most basic ... if you want a child, to raise him together and love him. Well ... make the money, look after your child. And with BGN 5 you can watch this child. Mothers are always very worried, they are always injured and when it comes to MONEY they are the first. Problems are not solved with money ... as you did - it will be so. The responsibility and guilt for the fact that this child lives with separated parents is entirely yours (mutual).
Dialogue - finding the problem - solving the problem!
They do not pay their alimony because many single mothers do not have the time and energy to take up the case, so they have not yet gone to court and are patient. Yes, it is true that such an action can worsen your relationship, just as it is true that the court can set a minimum maintenance. The point is that your ex deprives you of your child because of your new girlfriend. So he has money to take her on vacations every year, but he has no money for his son's birthday !? Not that anything, but I wouldn't put up with my child's father depriving him. How much of your salary do you set aside to meet your child's needs? You certainly give more than BGN 50 per month.
30, when the parents are two, the responsibility is on both. And it's about money, because some people don't have it, and whether they get 40 or 120 changes things for the child. I don't understand men, fathers, who think that she also eats with 5 children, but those 5 levs should be for the mother, if she can. Let their money go to their mothers and their lovers. And it's not women who jump for money, men jump for some pretty little money to support a child a month and get scared of gypsies.
When I read "most men" instead of "all men" I said to myself: uh, generalizers are starting to get things right. And I even cried with pity. I felt so good that I will not write on the subject at all. I just thank the author for this word - one word, but it changes things radically!
Come on, judge it, take his money, his property haha. That's how it goes. It happens to fools. Even before I got married, I transferred both apartments to my mother, and she returned them to me in exchange for watching. To make a hole in the sea, if I wanted to have 20 children, I wouldn't have taken anything on that bitch. My salary and savings went to a bank account, which we made to, and according to the law, no court can touch anything there either. After I divorced, I agreed with the boss to terminate the employment contract, to hire me as a consultant for the amount of 100.
To the Author - I don't have time to read the comments, I'm just answering your story
It is very simple why the father of your child does not take care of him - because you have chosen such a father of the child. This is the cruel truth and has nothing to do with men in general. This is an irresponsible point man.
Why not pay alimony - because you can. You're so scared you're not the bad guy in the movie that you don't want anything from the man and you don't get anything. The Bible even says - knock and they will open for you, ask and they will give you or something like that. Well, you don't want anything. Your husband, too, I think is a very lazy man. Out of laziness he does not see the child. There may be many more problems. It is positive that you got rid of him as a woman, the negative is that you gave birth to a child of such an individual, neglecting many potential good fathers and decent men. My cousin would noticeably be a great father and companion, but he is alone because he is not a mouthful, does not promise nonsense to women, and does not lie.
And no, not all men are like that. I have a husband who takes care of the family and has 2 older children from his first marriage and also takes care of them, although his mother does all the things you describe you don't do .... simply because he is a responsible individual like the father it's not your child's. I'm sorry for the woman who caught up with him, and I hope she didn't give birth and end up the same way
35, you are a living example of an irresponsible man - he will not buy chocolate for his own child, he will leave him hungry and thirsty to walk.
People like you should not breed.
It's good that you've come across a meek woman who won't hire someone to make you unrecognizable.
35 It is a pity that she was looking for something better for me than you, for a meager support you cling to your own child. You don't deserve this child.
Up to 36. Is the birth of a child a negative thing? Well, God, God. Very heavy words. Live happy, but don't be so categorical.
Number 36 said it very correctly. He does not pay because he is irresponsible. Because most likely his new wife is interfering with him, because he's so learned, because he's lazy (if he says he has no money) and who knows why ... It's good that you got rid of a man like him. Because even if the new woman has a child, she will remain irresponsible. It is clear from your statement that you are a good, well-mannered and intelligent girl. Your life is not easy, but you have found the strength to cope. A single mother can't handle anything ... My father left my mother at the time when she was six months pregnant with me, because of another woman, quite young ... My mother has worked all her life in two places, to raise and educate us with my brother. My father didn't give her a penny for anything. It's up to the man. He didn't care how we were, he didn't want to see us, he didn't see us. She always said she had no regrets. Because despite everything, if it weren't for him, we wouldn't be here. Accept it as it is. Glad you have a child. You can judge him, but it won't make sense. Just sit down and talk to him. All the questions you ask us, find a way and ask them. I sincerely admire you for not being angry and for setting your child against his father. Whatever he is ... Most of my divorced girlfriends your age did that. I hope your husband calls his conscience and starts helping you and I hope you also find your man with whom to be both good and bad.
Author, I also have no explanation. I am married to a man with a daughter from my first marriage. We both have no children. From the very beginning, I accepted that this child was an extremely important part of my husband's life and that it had never been ignored or harmed. My husband set himself an amount of BGN 300 for the child per month, plus more money for school, for some clothes and for unforeseen expenses. I find this quite normal. His daughter does not have to wait for her father to pick her up, she is always welcome at home, she has a room, toiletries, etc. We always take her with us, if the place is suitable for her age - in the theater, at the movies, on a picnic, on a trip, we encourage her hobbies, we help her with school lessons. Our child has full confidence and feels good with us. The relationship with the mother is cooler, but she herself admits that she is calmer knowing that we also look after the little one and are aware of her problems.
I say this, author, because I wonder if your ex-husband is entirely to blame for the situation or if the new woman in his life has a hand. If she is jealous of the child, counts the money she gives him and makes scandals, if she sees him often, then the picture does not change, but at least a little clarity is brought. In both cases, your husband is a characterless mold who is ready to betray his loved ones out of fear and selfishness.
What to do? Unfortunately, my advice is not to rely on his help, but to bet on yourself. Don't punish him by not letting him see the child, he has punished himself, but he doesn't know it yet. The children are growing up. And they see. And they remember.
You have to sue for your child. It is not a great heroism to deprive him so as not to disturb his father. Don't be a bastard! No one will give you a pumpkin medal. These 140 will come in very handy, even if they don't look like a lot of money.
The other thing is - I do not know a divorced man who pays alimony. Why - well, I don't know ... probably because most women are like that - not to push for money, but, prom, but we really have to seek our rights.
Author, after my parents divorced, "my father" did not give us anything, me and my brother, and so for 10 years.
What to say. In general, men are unnecessary crap in this world. Not all, there are 1,000 exceptions out of 8 billion.
1 xxcamfun answered