Where Is My Path?

The Story

Hello people! I see that you are all very kind here and help each other, so I hope you will help me too. My story is probably not that serious, but for me, it is an unsolvable mystery. I am 17 years old and life is probably ahead of me.

My problem is that I don't know which way to go. I don't know what to do with my life. I am something like the most responsible in my company and I help everyone with reasonable answers to their questions about love, life, or something else. (I'm not bragging, but they just always tell me that I help them a lot on these issues and I accept that they are sincere). The bad thing is that I say what I think, but not what I feel. Sometimes I feel like I'm 70 years old, not 17. I feel like I've lived my life and now I have a long break, but it's not a weave. Now is the time, in which I have to decide what my place should be in this life and what I should strive for, but I have no idea about it. I am now in the 11th grade and I am graduating next year, and I don't know if I will continue to study or not, I don't know what. If I decide to do one thing today, I will do something completely different tomorrow, and I always wander between such extremes that have nothing to do with each other and I have nothing to hold on to. I don't even want to have a boyfriend, which is very strange at my age. I've never had a long-term relationship and I don't see the point in that. I've never loved anyone, and I think it's still too early for that. I think I have so much time to do everything I want, but I don't even know what it is.

All my friends have at least one idea about their lives, but when they ask me what my idea is, I have no idea. I have the feeling that in the end I will have to solve many problems at once and I will choose the stupidest solutions. I don't want this to happen, but I think that whatever I choose in the next moment I will always find something better and I will want to choose it, but it will be too late. I also don't know why it always happens that I can answer all the questions except the ones I ask myself. I also don't know why I'm so fickle. Will this change at all or will I go in so many different directions all my life? I really respect everyone's ability to change and look for a better way, but when that change is combined with impermanence, it's not good.

I can't be so fickle all my life and I don't want to, but I don't know how to change it, because whenever I want to change ... I change ..., but it's too often. Please do not tell me what I want, but how to find out what it is. I really hope you help me. :)

Last Updated
July 28, 2020
Author:
annie_blond18

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