That's what I'm asking myself, buddy, and that's what I'm asking myself!
M/20
It's individual. Not everyone is able to distinguish the physical from the emotional. I can't either. For some people, it is perfectly normal to have more physical contacts, even sex, at the first meetings, while for others it is not quite in the order of things. You're not old-fashioned.
History is not progress, it's a cyclod... You're right to make associations with Sodom and Gomorrah. But the same is happening in Rome as a more recent example. What came after Rome? The dark ages and the church oligarchy that imposes some kind of moral system. A long time had to come the Renaissance, and the few centuries after it were the Golden Centuries of Balance (which Bulgaria naturally squandered under the Turkish yoke). Now we are back to the other extreme - of total freedom, triggered by an easy life. This leads to visible social decay, and what happens next? You know, new dark ages. Very few people have internal resistors and carry some individual way of thinking outside the matrix of the time in which they live. And in general, they are left alone. The others are in the wheel of life/Samsara. The problem you're getting is a lot more serious than you'd think... You don't have the problem, that is. you're powerless... is it calming you :)... Delve into the old books, especially philosophically directed, there is a lot of life wisdom in them that most can't appreciate because they think they're "modern," just like absolutely everyone who was born on this earth for obvious reasons...
Yes, you have the problem, and yes, we live with Sodom and Gomorrah.
For values forget, they are for the weak who want to have an understandable and controllable world. Today there is chaos - everyone is ooping as much as they can and every fuck they can. The law of the jungle reigns. And there you either adapt or die.
Women haven't become like that, they've always been like that. There was simply a society and values that deterd them, so that men would not wonder how to please them (because it is impossible) but to engage in productive activities. Now this society and these values have collapsed, very soon with them will collapse and civilisations that we know will, and in its place will come a new one, in which these values are still alive.
Because progress is made with discipline, not debauchery.
So, boy, next time instead of imagining love, take it out that x*y (as the late Stanley Royce used to say) and make her look for her mother and grandmother. Then put your pants on and leave without looking for her and not calling her.
yes, you're old-fashioned. Humanity is constantly changing. If you want to survive, you better keep up with it. Life is like watching an animal herd - the lagging, the detached, the sick and the old - drop out. The most resilient continue.
You're not old-fashioned. Actually, there should be more people like you.
I'm the author.
up to 6: And my friends and acquaintances have told me that I am a decent man, but as a result, as I said, I can not find a second-year boyfriend. It's like women already want you to be some aggressive guy who wants to use them for sex. It's as if they themselves want to be used for sex on a first date, it's such a strange thing.
Maybe I should get more debauched, but I'm super hard to change.
It should be clear to you that the modern world rests precisely on people with real feelings, true values, true morality. The rest, as they say, is from the evil one. Today, everyone is inclined to lie, to cheat even their closest friends, looking at their own interest. Everyone tries to subdue and humiliate the other, using for this purpose sex, providing some physical pleasure and forgetting that the person opposite him has feelings, seeks something much more, seeks pleasure for his soul – love. Indiscriminate frantic sex kills and perverts a person's soul, and from it people do not become happy. At most to catch some specific disease or cancer sexually transmitted. The most to fall into depression, to think about suicide or to experience the life of the cheater. That's what happens to them every day. So you're on the right track. You just have to recognize your self-like soul in this human pot. Success!
It's like women already want you to be some aggressive guy who wants to use them for sex :). Otherwise, it wouldn't be such a big hit, Fifty Shades of :) Everyone dreams about it and then roars when they know it's just another one. Most people are totally degraded anyway. It's constantly binge-brained and brainwashed about how you live everything in the moment and other crap that's good for the system and become a confable. There's so much to get to know someone about - there's so much out there. fish :) Already if you're with someone for a few months it's considered a long relationship :) And so on. Who finds a decent man to protect him- others to think about it. 'Cause when a couple of years go by and the ones who are now only looking for sex and no one wants them anymore, they're going to understand some things..
Don't waste your time with people who have nothing to give you but are only looking for party entertainment all now and so on. - applies to both sexes:)
Haha what values in the Bulgarian woman? Only fun sex alcohol cigarettes and catch someone to support them are in their heads. Or if they can't support them, they're just wondering who to show him, how great they are, and how great you're going, you're not at their level, kind of - I don't need a man :) When you see them, and it becomes clear to you- no style dressed as the sweethearts of the chalga, nor class have and every smoke. They rely on the myth that the Bulgarian is the best in the world, but no. This myth is for people who have never left the country.Go outside in Italy or Spain and see the women there - stylish beautiful you will not see anyone smoking appreciate their families smiling and satisfied. Now go out and see the Bulgarian women :) There are also valuable and decent here, but they are rare, so conclusions make them alone:)
You've got to keep up with the present. The world is like this and there will always be weak and strong on the day. The same goes for "moralists" and "unhinged." The world is spinning, my friend, and it won't wait for you as you twirl over your failed strategy of taking down women. And morality, morality is a word invented by people for people to set rules. I'm not saying they're bad, even if they're bad. With morality and value, man moves away from primary and animal, but let's not make the excuse when you're trying to stab a chick to get close to primary and animal sex. Because man is not only moral and values, but is also a living being with feelings, emotions, hormones, etc. So morality in this case is your excuse for not being tied up. You're too passive, and passion and people don't expect that especially at the beginning of a relationship. Imagine what would be next.
The theme is about sex and intimacy, and where did you go :)
Otherwise, nothing new under the sun. We've been human for millennia, endless searches/staggerings between spiritual, sex and all the other astonishing (creative) and startlingly terrible perversions (as only human genius can invent) and the innumerable nuances between them.
Author, you expect to hear what a rare breed you are, huh? You're who you want to be, just find the right environment. Sign up for the city choir, hang in the library and stuff like that. In the disco, it's hard to find a spiritual companion :) Another is the question that we have some people left in Bulgaria... , a sad story. But that's a different subject, isn't it? :)
I wish everyone a lot of happiness and responsibility :)
I was just like you. I was in love, as a student only in one girl, even offered me other girls, but I wanted her - For years I dreamed of her and put a piadestal in my mind, but alas, she had serious friends, she liked other types of men, and besides the banter in school years 14-15, nothing else happened. It wasn't until I was 23, my first relationship, even the first successful sex with a girl, because I couldn't get out of here until then. Four years of a relationship where she was a consumer and I strangled her. I went through a lot of nerves, got to pills, panic attacks, etc., and until that I didn't have them, just because the girl had been through a lot and was the so-called "energy vampire", I could not share my problems, but only listened to hers. Well, we split up... I'm already with a slightly broken psyche, with a new girlfriend, but the situation is the same. We love each other, then the jealousy starts, I start to feel like I'm giving more than I get 80/20, I'm starting to push it. The feelings are getting cold, and we'il see what happens. We've been together for eight months. The truth is, it's all in interest, and as long as you give, a little bit and you'il get it, but once you stop giving it right away, they feel it and you might think you don't want it.
They think they're irreplaceable, they have it to do everything for them, because nowadays Facebook spoils them so much. They think every boy likes them, wants them and won't leave them, and he wants them for something more, but it's clear that we lie to them about one sex and the desire to be with a girl. So when you stop giving, the next one will come, but he'il only give her a sperm and leave her and look for you again - ))
classics is this
Don't worry, I'm just like the other guys. Be a man, be strong, lie to them! They like that.
I don't see a particular connection between values and sex. Don't mess this up. Values are one thing, sex is another. It is a value to be a modest, hard-working, scholarly, honorable... Sex is a pleasure. Just because you have sex only in a serious relationship doesn't make you more moral or better than the others. Everyone decides how to have fun, and you have no right to judge people for it.
If you don't want to have sex outside of a serious relationship, great. That's your choice. But you have to understand that there are people who don't think that way, and that doesn't make them bad or bad, they just understand life in a different way. You can't expect everyone to think like you and condemn them if they don't agree. That's no longer moral. We're all mortal here, none of us are god to judge others.
There are girls who think like you, catch on with someone like that.
I, as your wife, share that for me, sex on a third or fourth date is in the order of things. If I'm dating a man, I like it. And if I like it, I want to get to know him. Without having sex, I can't tell if I want a serious relationship with this guy. Naturally, in addition to wanting to fit in sexually, I expect us to get along in many other areas: aspirations, goals, education, way of thinking, lifestyle, etc. If I don't like sex, there's nothing to do with this guy, even if he's the smartest, nicest, most handsome, intelligent man in the world. After all, I want a male partner, not a friend. I wouldn't wait two months to get to bed with someone. Without sex, I can't fall in love with a man. And I can't get into a relationship unless I'm in love. If there's no progress after a few meetings, I wouldn't waste my time. I understand that not everyone thinks like me, and I think it's wonderful. But let's not impose on the rest of our personal ideas.
Number 10
I guess you didn't live in Spain because women here are pretty open-cut. I don't live in Bg for years, so I have no observations about bulgarians, but I think bulgarians are no more corrupt than Spaniards and other Europeans.
15, I'm not 10, but it seems to you that you haven't lived in Bulgaria in a while. I've been to both Spain and Bulgaria, and I'm telling you that Spaniards can't get on the little finger of the Bulgarians on a whore's hook. Especially the last years have become so twisted that they almost aligned themselves with the Russian and Ukrainians. When I think about it, there's no bigger whores left than the Bulgarians. Although I'm not sure about them anymore.
Up to 14 of the author: Being modest and hard-working are not values, but qualities. The qualities we exhibit may be based on our value system, but we may not.
Otherwise, I understand your point of view, but I find it hard to accept. And I disagree with this swirling individualism "everyone decides how to have fun, and we have no right to judge it." The thing is, many of these people haven't decided it themselves, but they're programmed by the media environment and culture. Turned into mindless consumers of flesh, they look for excuses with "I am my separate man and have the right to do whatever I want with my body." And the person is part of a society and interacts with it two way - it gives to society and takes from society. By the same token, if a person is a liar , "we have no right to judge him," even though he is harming society by lying.
If you only stick chicks in discos, it'il be like that.
Look for a girl in a library, a bookstore, a theater- then it'il be your way ;)
It's a very similar story. On the third date, I tell her we're waiting for acquaintances at a place to go to them. And she twisted her face and directly asks me and when are we going to next year?.
I have girlfriends who won't let me go on a first date! Introduce me to those who let you go.
Don't spit on the Bulgarians, huh? If that's what you're at, that's what you like and look for. It is as if Bulgaria is not part of Europe or the world, there is no contact with foreign culture, etc. We're in another galaxy. Everything comes from the west, but we're used to spitting bulgarian, because it's easiest.
To the author- you didn't seem to come across the right girl, but believe me, he'il show up when you're expecting it the least.
I'il give you a good recipe for manipulation. Create a good reputation for the girl! That is, You met her at the disco, you invited her on a date, but instead of a pub, you took her to the theater. She shouldn't know in advance about your plans, bet on the surprise effect. After the performance, you now sit in a restaurant for a drink to discuss your impressions. Next time again so - this time at a concert (at an exhibition, at a literary premiere). You treat her like a lady. No touches, except gently placing a palm in the lower back of her back when entering somewhere, offering a hand on the street and help as she gets out of the taxi. It's not until the third date that you can just invite her to dinner. That's where you'il get close. Then come up with something related to nature - to see yourself in a casual environment, because on the outing everyone is natural. I bet this tactic is that the naughty lady herself will start to think about it. Every woman enjoys being thought of as a cultural and intelligent secular lady, and that somehow doesn't match with the idea of reaching into the cavalier's pants. Soon the girl will be nosey and start showing off in front of her friends. I do not advise you to give flowers, because usually women wonder what to do with them during the evening and are usually more of an inconvenience. In my opinion, your mistake is that your acquaintance with chicks starts in places that predispose to frivolous entertainment. What do you expect from someone you've been swearing with on the dance floor by morning? Naturally, continue chopping in bed.
I'm a woman, and I know it works!
I'm the author. I don't know why some people thought I met the girl from a disco or something? The specific case I mentioned was a girl we had a facebook page with. And for the first date we went to Lake Pancharevo (I asked her if she wanted to and she said that she liked to ride in a car and that she loved the water), then we ate in Happy... I set the example of disco and dunking to show the behavior at the other extreme, which I find hard to accept, but that it's as if girls succumb more to this kind of crush than as number 22 tells... Why should I raise her level when she's easy to let the men before me...
up to 21: I do not spit bulgarians. I've been to a brigade in the United States and i've been communicating with Americans, and in general I feel like most Western women are like that. Maybe the women themselves are like that, but for some reason they taught me as a child to idealize them and think they're the weaker sex, that they're gentle, fragile, romantic, and I don't know what you are. It's just that reality hit me hard and I'm confused. I already feel like this whole idea that women are the fair sex is some kind of conspiracy.
The Sleeping Beauty
Alone I sit, I wonder why
You dream of love and so do I
But in your sleep you cannot see
This pain which is always haunting me
What I need I'll never feel
This world is for me unreal
So I drink to darkness with a candle lit
And through the whole night alone I sit
The sleeping beauty
She stops the bleeding
She stops the bleeding in my soul
She is fresh air in this stinking world
The more I drink, the more I see
That suicide could be the key
To the place called paradise
Where pain not dwells, not hate nor lies
But if I look beyond all this
I reckon something I would surely miss
Because in my dreams I rule my life
And the sleeping beauty is my wife
The sleeping beauty
She stops the bleeding
She stops the bleeding in my soul
She is fresh air in this stinking world
It's pointless to explain it, don't you see what themes are being played quite often, to people who are the perfect product for those who profit from their stupidity. Really, go to a place where you're going to meet a girl you'd love to talk to.
Hello, although the topic is old, I will still express an opinion, most of my close friends are not of this category, who go to bed with a man quickly, so do not worry there are women who are looking for deep relationships, do not elevate a cult of sex, not that it does not mean anything, but do not idealize him "only sex to have another thing is fine". And for me it is important to have good communication with the man, to have common goals in life (not to go in different directions) that he has a spiritual level, etc. Don't change for someone! Yes, women are the weak sex, they taught you well when you were a kid, don't distort that. I like feminism as a freedom of speech to women, as a woman has the right to robots professions that she never allowed before, but it's not feminism at the moment, it's a measure of "dicks" that the weak sex doesn't have and I don't know what they measure - excuse me for the wolf expression. Total destruction of the man... because a woman has a stronger energy than the male. It is a complete contradiction that a man must protect and care for the children and the woman, and she for the children and him but the more feminine way. :)
Lisa
Because nowadays, sex isn't something to look forward to, to imagine the other naked, or how it touches. It's become a perversion of intimacy. Most people do it just because of necessity, not because they actually want the other person. It just satisfies the people doesn't matter who. It's not the problem with you, it's the world.
You have to come up with a man's device to tell you when they're ready and when not to rush.
You'd better keep your shop regularly unbuttoned if it was early, you can always apologize for for forgetting to pull the zipper.
Another option to become a mole fucker. On a dam and a forest, it's easy to see if she's up for fucking. It's very clear you're not going hunting and fishing. If you look around places like this, there's always some sheltered place full of capuchis and wet wipes. If he's not, he's going to stand with his hands crossed and look stupid at one point.
If he's a guy, however, he might decide to take a walk to explore the landscape. The female psyche is elemental, you're the shepherd of the herd.
Oh, what's the people's got to be, enough of this? The world has always been the same and people haven't changed much. Only environment and technology have changed things a little bit.
There are all kinds of women!
The most are those who want to build some kind of friendship (whether on Facebook with a daily chat (maximum week, two to date), and then they can put you on a second-third date, since you have already become their friend trust you and you have overcome some competition.
At least it's the ones who're ready on a first date, maybe you're either an attractive guy, or you're writing to a lot, and someone's tying you up, I don't know. If you've been writing to her for a long time, it's possible that she'il be tied up first. In a disco to meet and sleep immediately, it's a little fantastic, but it's not impossible, there are all sorts of rags.
But at least it's already that kind of girls who want to go out with you at least on 6-7 dates, write, talk to each other and fall in love with each other first and then have sex. Eh this is the best option, the most difficult to withstand sexual tension and arousal, but the most pleasant and then a serious relationship can occur.
You'il find the kind of girl you're looking for, but it depends on how you approach it. And remember. You're 29 now, maybe you're aware of things. But one woman, even if she lets you on the 10th date, has trepidation and so on, that doesn't mean she wasn't a cougar for someone else and didn't let him on a second date. My current one has a few of these, and he let me in a month and something. Her ex-husband is serious about being at my place the first time, and then I understand how she slept with someone at a birthday party, with someone else on a second date.
And in this order of thought, decent girls are extremely few who have been, are and will be. God forbid everyone can find him, but think about how good he is and if he deserves it.
And I slept with a girl after the second date. I was even more amazed that you made me a full program!
Usually, women postpone the first sex with a man when they see it as a potential material for a serious relationship. In this case, they do not want to "expose" looking "light" in his eyes.
At this point, a woman postpones sex as much as possible and causes the man to prove himself through various female tricks and subversive tests. It's a tactic to raise the price of the woman herself. This behaviour is also inherent in women, who in other circumstances would behave much more frivolously and would be easily allowed on many men.
Quite inexperienced or frankly stupid men fall into this trap and begin to try to prove themselves to the woman, only to receive the "priceless" gift of sex. Here comes the moment with the romance, flowers, poems, developments, establishments, gifts and so on attributes from romantic films.
In the author's case, he was subjected to frivolous sexual advances on the part of the girl and because he did not take advantage in time he was "whistled".
1 alejandra_011 answered