Hello, I need advice ... I have a friend for 6 years. We had problems in the beginning, we always solved everything, but now things are different. He is a little nervous and aggressive, it's not about attacking me physically, but mentally he starts to break me. For example, the moment I get jealous, get angry at him for something, or ask him something he doesn't care about, he becomes a different person. I can't recognize him, he starts shouting as much as he can, throwing objects, breaking, insulting me, but not with ugly insulting words, but for example that I don't think with my head and just changes in seconds. And I'm not that kind of person, when I get angry I rarely break out, in most cases I keep it to myself and I start crying with nerves, it makes him sick that I cry and apologize. I don't trust him anymore, the problem is that I'm dying for him. I've been very jealous of him lately, because I have no faith in him. Every time he explodes, I start to have a strange feeling for him that makes me stop believing in this person. The rest of the time, there is no one as good as him. He explains to me in love, he takes care of me, he's just good. But the moment we quarrel begins ... Yes, it is true that in some cases I am also to blame, I apologize and we recover. I've told him hundreds of times to control his nerves and talk normally without calling me, but he says he can't. There were already 2 cases where we quarreled out of jealousy, I was guilty, I apologized to him, but he had drunk and said that he was not interested and that this was the last time we fought. The bad thing is that then he threatened me that he would come to our country and raise my whole family to its feet. For the first time I felt fear and just so he wouldn't come, I apologized to him and prayed that he wouldn't come. Then we recovered, but 2 days ago we quarreled over complete nonsense and he threw a plate of anger. Now we're fine again, fortunately, but I don't know how to calm him down, I just want him to stop being so nervous.
Answers 6
Rest assured that if you continue to live with him, he will eventually start attacking you. There are no nervous fixes with these. You better dump it, I think.
Hello. I'm in a similar situation, maybe a little more complicated. My friend (or an ex now and I don't know exactly what we are because of the harassment he inflicts on me) is also quite nervous, he changes quickly, especially after drinking alcohol. The difference is that in addition to mentally, he also physically harasses me. After each apology, there is another time of threats or encroachment. After long conversations and we seemed to understand each other, the truth is that I remained so nervous and there was no change. I don't know how or to what extent you could change it. And why don't you tell him you want him to either change or you just end up and break up ... or just leave him, if he loves you he'll understand what's without you and he'll really change. Just don't tolerate this mental harassment, be a little stricter in your words ... I don't know how to express myself exactly. You've been together for a long time, he should know you and know what you like about him and his behavior and what you don't. I wish you success, I hope you come to your senses and love each other for many more years 6.
She'll slap you, wait a minute.
So far from an explosive person, even if he is not bad by nature. Believe me, where you left from, I'm coming back.
№1: Be sure that if you continue to live with him, in time he will start to touch you. There are no nervous fixes with these. You better dump it, I think. - I am also of this opinion and not only to you, but also to your children over time. Victor 420
It's only a matter of time before he reaches out to you. If you love it so much, put up with it, but children don't make you deserve it.