Hello! I'm starting to think seriously that I have a bug in the system and I'm going to die alone because of it. I am an 18-year-old girl. I've never had a friend before. I have a feeling that on a subconscious level I'm deliberately screwing up my relationship with the boys, but I don't know why. I almost always like guys that I'm sure they won't like me. And I like them for several years. I gave the penultimate boy I liked three years and four months of my life. And when I like them, I don't see any other boy around me. And at the same time I run away from them. With the boy in question, whom I had liked for over three years, at one point things had started to work out. He talked to me, smiled at me, revolved around me. Do you know what I was doing? I ignored him. And when he spoke to me, I cut him. Once I was completely sure that he thought of me as an inflated muffin, I started doing the things listed above. I talked to him and hung out with him, and a little less he started paying attention to me again. Then I ran again. Then again. And again. And again. In general, this was our relationship with him. I used to deal with each other, boy. This was my shortest liking - about two months. We talked to him a lot more and we wrote to each other almost every day.
Until one Friday he asked me what I was going to do on Saturday. After reading the notice, I turned off the Internet and did not go online for several hours.
Then I went in and wrote to him that I would travel and I went out again. After that question, I cooled sharply to him without understanding why, and that was the end of our relationship with this boy. Now I have sympathy for another boy again, but I think the only reason for that is, that he is from another city and comes to mine rarely. Actually, I like someone, but with the excuse that he is 200 km from here and there is no way to get it. I never like guys who admit to me that they like me. And I think that's exactly the reason
- if they like me and I like them, then something has to happen between us, and I seem to avoid that in every way. I recently started watching a series. I loved it - I could do just that all day. I really liked the main actor and actress. In yesterday's episode, they finally admitted that they are in love with each other and became boyfriends. Today I dreamed of them as I was both myself and the actress, you know this strange feeling while you sleep and you are yourself and in the same, you look at yourself from the side and you are a different person.
The dream was not "those dreams" just a scene from yesterday's episode repeated in my head and we became boyfriends. Well, I don't want to watch this show anymore. It's just that the main character, who used to be so sexy, is now somehow ... repulsive to me. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or directly tell him to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me?
Will, I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? Well, I don't want to watch this show anymore. It's just that the main character, who used to be so sexy, is now somehow ... repulsive to me. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or tell him directly to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else.
What's wrong with me? Will, I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? Well, I don't want to watch this show anymore. It's just that the main character, who used to be so sexy, is now somehow ... repulsive to me. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or directly tell him to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother.
Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me? Will I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? repulsive. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or directly tell him to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me?
Will, I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? repulsive. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or tell him directly to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me?
Will, I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? to confuse my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. As a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me?
1 hot_daddygirl answered
I think you're scared and you watch a lot of movies. Aren't you a Pisces zodiac sign: D? Try to be a little bolder with the boys, go out on a date, talk. Give yourself a chance to like yourself. A relationship is not just sex, plus everyone develops their sexuality at different times, and it may be normal to feel that way because you haven't tried it. So I drove it more calmly. Nowadays, people get married at 30, so there is a lot of time until the desire for marriage and children.