What To Think?-fightforgrowth

I had a relationship with a boy of 3 and a half years. We are both doing 19. This year by the end things had become very boring, somehow we did everything out of habit. He told me several times that we were behaving like friends. He asked us to stay friends a month or so ago. I recently realized how bad I had been with him. How I never showed him how much I love him and that it's all for me. I deprived him of regular sex, I never made him feel wanted, in a word, I took it for granted. I feel how much I have changed during this time, as if I have been reborn. I even wonder how he put up with me for so long. Shortly after he broke up with me, I realized that he was with another, but I accept him normally now, because he asked another for what I did not give him - sex. He tells me he's only with her for sex. I can say that he is a great man, very decent, many human. We went out to see each other two weeks ago. He didn't want to tell me about this one so as not to hurt me, but I had understood anyway and told him I knew everything. When I told him, he suddenly changed dramatically. I cried, told me he hadn't overcome me, that he hadn't stopped thinking about me, that he meant a lot to him, and even said, "Will we ever get back together" to which I replied "I don't know". The evening ended very well, I saw that he cared a lot about me and that he was not indifferent. Last week I called him out, and then we had sex (I told him I wanted it to be non-committal). After a few days we did it again, and I felt a lot of warmth in his kisses and hugs. During this time we have not stopped writing to each other via Skype. He keeps saying "nice" to me, and he started saying that to me because I told him that my name sounds strange from his mouth. At first he said "nice" to me when he left Skype, and the rest of the time he didn't say it to me. And now every second of his words is "nice." I write here mainly because I am confused and in many cases it contradicts itself. He told me about another girl that they liked each other, then he said he couldn't love for now, and then he didn't need anyone. Last night we chatted very sincerely. I had a pain in my heart and he was very worried, he even wanted to come and be with me, but I refused, because I didn't want to bother him. Little by little I began to apologize to him for behaving this way with him over the years, thanking him for always being by my side for better or for worse. And he just kept saying, "I'm glad I got sick, it's not just you, we're both to blame." He told me again that his feelings for me were gone. He also told me that he would always have sympathy for me, in the sense that I would never be indifferent to him. And I told him, "I'm glad you at least love me as a person, not without anything," to which he replied, "I'll never be without anything." I myself did not allow myself to tell him that I still love him, which I recently realized. I realized that I really love him very much and that I want to be with him. But somehow his words don't make me think 100% that he wants the same. The second time we had sex, I asked him if it was just physical attraction or if there was chemistry. He said there was also chemistry. I don't know much about what to do. Last night he asked to see me one of the next days. Should I stop pretending to be strong and tell him what I actually feel for him. I'm just scared that he will cut me off and I don't know how I will experience it again. I feel like I'm getting addicted to him every day. What would you advise me. Thanks for each answer and sorry for the long topic.