What To Do With My Girlfriend?

   This is how you described it, that I have the feeling that you are talking about the bottom of my ex ... she had the same symptoms ....

   From what has been written, it is clear to me that she suffers from nutritional deficiency, which is expressed in memory problems. I'm not talking about the caloric value of food and the lack of important nutrients necessary for the functioning of the body, including brain activity. If I have to guess, I guess the reason is the lack of enough animal fats and fat-soluble vitamins in the diet, which prevents the myelin sheaths of neurons from renewing, hence memory problems and possibly atherosclerosis, God forbid. More meat, cheese and dairy, eggs, fruits, vegetables, peanuts and less factory processed food, sugar, pasta and vegetable oil and should be fine.

   I thank you for your patience and understanding, but if she fails to deal with her problem, then your psyche will begin to collapse. Such behavior becomes annoying over time and I say it because I know what it's like to be around such people. I don't know exactly how to explain it to you, so let's say you need to have the same patience for her as you need for a small child with constant questions about everything around him. For me, the story is completely different, I will not go into details, I just want to warn you that you need a healthy psyche and a lot of peace, otherwise it does not work. You should never get angry, accept her problems and remind yourself every time she boils inside. Answer her questions briefly and clearly, there is no need for jokes that she will not understand, because she has forgotten that she has already asked you. And these jokes can easily negatively affect her, this is a bad truth and I feel obliged to tell you. In general, you are in a position now, as if you were playing mines, your actions immediately have a reaction that is not certain to be good. You have to take care of her psyche yourself, because she is unstable, she doesn't have to be very scared. I have witnessed panic attacks, great anxiety and nervousness, over time I have developed a certain reaction, I can tell you about it. You let her sit, stand in front of her, ask her to look you in the eye, and ask very simple questions to distract her. If you make her laugh and think of something, you better. You can hug her, but she may push you away if she feels insecure. There is also a great deal of understanding. Your heart will break every day for a long time, but then it becomes easier. One thing is very important and that is your tone and your actions to be completely calm and confident. Don't leave her with questions, don't leave her worried, don't leave if she is angry or hurt. It is unknown at this time what he will do after leaving the post. Reply to messages full of some of her fantasies short, clear and kind. Treat her like any other person in your life, but keep in mind that you need to be a little more careful in certain situations. I suspect she has days and days, not all are good. Her problems do not interfere with your communication, so talk to her calmly. Her problems can only affect her and your relationship if you can't accept them. Try not to force her for anything she doesn't want to do, you can only motivate her and convince her. In fact, it's not hard, in a real situation you don't even think about it, with the right approach, she will accept things the way they really are. If you feel that this relationship is burdening you, that you are becoming nervous and irritable, leave it. Being with her, but not being able to cope and tolerate her, means taking her far back in her treatment and making each other's lives bitter. Such small problems are not for everyone and you have to judge for yourself to what extent you are able to cope and show understanding. Soothe her in cases of paranoia, they will not last that long. You convince her to stop as you walk and look around - trees, clouds, sky, a stream of people moving in different directions ... then ask her what worries her, what she considers a threat. There may be an answer, so try to reassure her with good arguments. If there is no answer, he should calm down in a few minutes. Maybe sometimes she decides that someone is eavesdropping on her, that she has microphones and cameras. You ask her where she thinks they are placed and check with her to make sure it's all in her head. If you think they are hidden in something, just turn that thing upside down or put it somewhere. She doesn't need stress. These things may seem nonsense to you, but if a child is afraid of a monster under the bed, you will look with him, right? Then you will read him a story and stay until he falls asleep. It's not much different here, it requires understanding, "help" and a slight distraction from her own thoughts. Your story doesn't sound so serious to me, so her problem should be fixed almost completely. There will be some residual worries and quirks, but these are not things that will prevent her from living normally. Oh, you should also know that this process is slow.

   Hi, no. se. I refrained from commenting, because according to your description we have a lot in common with your girlfriend. I hope my comment helps you. In short, I also suffer from anxiety, paranoia, fear of abandonment (which leads to a strong need for emotion, people, sex), then "overdose", I feel "locked, limited" and begins a sharp need for space (which follows and cool behavior for no apparent reason), I also often have depressive moments and for a day or two my life seems meaningless and I have no desire to communicate / do anything, but when it subsides I feel like it was not, I do not explain almost , because for me it is everyday and I am already used to and recognize the "wrong patterns of behavior and thoughts", and sometimes I am afraid to go into details and explanatory mode, because they don't take me seriously or just people are burdened / don't understand or I feel like a "weird / problematic person". I also have the problem with memory and distraction, I've been trying to control them for years, but it's very difficult, believe me. For me, everything escalates after several years of sexual, physical and mental harassment by a man I loved infinitely, really. Then I became a "mollusk", unable to do elementary things, and he abandoned me. From there, I personally have a fear of abandonment, of not being able to stand alone indoors, to run away when they show me too much tenderness, love and fear of commitment, which leads to panic in general plans, love messages like "we forever will ... "and so on. Since I was sexually trained as a robot at a young age, I had to be ready to "meet needs" around the clock, then criticized for not being enough, from there I am sexually active and keep my boyfriend happy. My biggest fear is that I may be sexually rejected or that my partner will be disappointed, which is where my fears, like your girlfriend's, come from. Other things that are inherent in me are a tendency to addictions / taking reckless risks / speaking out loud, due to the inability to control emotions, no matter how hard I try. I explained the "symptoms" and "causes", and now for "how to proceed after that", the psychologist is the best solution, congratulations to your girlfriend, I myself have made huge progress after several years of visits, awareness of the problem and work on me. To date, I think I'm doing pretty well and I feel the "oddities" myself and control them as much as I can. As for "what can you do", don't push her, sometimes let her set boundaries if she needs space, when she forgets you don't have to remind her of the problem and unless it's something important or if you have need to do it and explain without criticism, since you think she is paranoid that you are "following" her. Personally, I am aware of the problem with memory, but years ago I did not know it, maybe it still does. To add that the exclusion of "special treatment" is also a good move, as it usually offends and makes a person remember how "escaped" - from there - paranoia and more anxiety, etc. And most of all just love it . :) P.S. It is possible that the reason is not in an ex-boyfriend, but in bad family relationships / harassment by friends / classmates at an earlier age, but whatever it is, I believe they will cope together. I wish you a lot of love and happiness.

   Well, it's very important to know exactly what her diagnosis is. If she has panic attacks (because she can't stand alone) it's one thing, if she has a psychiatric illness, it's another. If she's taking medication, she may not be concentrating enough on it. Paranoia is inherent in schizophrenia, but there are other symptoms. He may become paranoid because he forgets and then wonders how you know some things. I advise you, instead of inventing some former loves that have ruined her, to study her biography, what happened to her, what she is sick of.

   Your friend has a health problem and I think it has nothing to do with her ex - there is no way another person can break someone's heart and psyche without his consent! Look at her family, there you will find the answer. A relationship with a sick person is stressful, as you explain, you are an optimist, but I think you have no chance for a normal and satisfying relationship with her, I'm sorry! She must feel good, have an adequate idea of ​​herself and then enter into relationships ... Leave her, take care of yourself, this is my answer to your question.

   The girl needs therapy, I don't think the problem is a love affair, but a deeper one. I was like that to some extent.

   Life is too short to fix the problems of others. Sooner or later everyone realizes this, for some it is too late for others not. Life is in front of you, there are many other women. It's not worth fixing other people's buckets. Act!