What Should My Husband Be Like?

Along with the Christmas holidays, I also decided to write my own story. I am a child of a mixed marriage. My mother is Bulgarian, and my father is also the result of a mixed marriage between an Arab and a Turk (there is still a gypsy vein and it fits into the "favorite" image of every Bulgarian). We have always celebrated all possible holidays, both Christian and Muslim. Every year I travel and see my relatives from abroad, they also came. So far so good. It has never been difficult for me to identify. I am baptized and I am a Christian by convictions. My father doesn't know that, and if he did, he would deny it right away! "The children go to their fathers!" My parents worked in another European country and I lived here with my mother's family (grandparents) and for that I have never been very close to my father. For the last 2-3 years we have all been living together in Bulgaria, and he travels a lot. And that's where the problems begin ... my father has a disgusting image of what his daughter SHOULD be like. He comes with his requirements, with his rules and does not conform to me. My mother plays the role of a balancer in our relationship - she allows me to go out, drink, smoke as long as he does not understand. However, this double life is killing me. I can't be the perfect daughter. And the older I get, the harder it is for me to play this game. Everything in our family is one theater. I have reached an age when it is quite normal to think about marriage, to start my own family and I am very scared. What should my husband be like Buddhist? I would not be able to live with a Muslim and I would not subject my child to this hellish torment! My father says he will kill me if I marry a Christian and he is completely serious - he is fanatical despite the years he has spent in Europe and America. A Muslim won't take me, even if my father forces me to get married - I'm not a virgin. It is clear to me that there are operations and all sorts of options, but I do not want such a life. I would not forget, nor would I pray, I would not raise my child in such a value system as my eventual husband would require. A holy holiday is coming, which I will celebrate again with my whole family (including my father), but when 12 passes I will not be able to say hello with a glass of wine, because I am forbidden to drink! I will not say aloud "Merry Christmas" .. I command bright and peaceful holidays to all of you! And an order ... when you create children, even if they are the fruit of great love - do not be selfish, think about them too! that there are surgeries and all sorts of options, but I don't want that kind of life. I would not forget, nor would I pray, I would not raise my child in such a value system as my eventual husband would require. A holy holiday is coming, which I will celebrate again with my whole family (including my father), but when 12 passes I will not be able to say hello with a glass of wine, because I am forbidden to drink! I will not say aloud "Merry Christmas" .. I command bright and peaceful holidays to all of you! And an order ... when you create children, even if they are the fruit of great love - do not be selfish, think about them too! that there are surgeries and all sorts of options, but I don't want that kind of life. I would not forget, nor would I pray, I would not raise my child in such a value system as my eventual husband would require. A holy holiday is coming, which I will celebrate again with my whole family (including my father), but when 12 passes I will not be able to say hello with a glass of wine, because I am forbidden to drink! I will not say aloud "Merry Christmas" .. I command bright and peaceful holidays to all of you! And an order ... when you create children, even if they are the fruit of great love - do not be selfish, think about them too! which I will celebrate again with my whole family (including my father), but when 12 passes I will not be able to say hello with a glass of wine, because I am forbidden to drink! I will not say aloud "Merry Christmas" .. I command bright and peaceful holidays to all of you! And an order ... when you create children, even if they are the fruit of great love - do not be selfish, think about them too! which I will celebrate again with my whole family (including my father), but when 12 passes I will not be able to say hello with a glass of wine, because I am forbidden to drink! I will not say aloud "Merry Christmas" .. I command bright and peaceful holidays to all of you! And an order ... when you create children, even if they are the fruit of great love - do not be selfish, think about them too!