What Is It That Makes Me Feel Confused?

I am a girl and I will soon be 16 years old. in general variety More than a year ago I started training at home ... I was super ambitious and in the end I lost a lot of weight, I built muscles. I did 2 workouts a day. I was in 8th grade then, and I'm studying in an English high school - the year was uniquely easy for me, which was a precedent to focus on sports, literature and other hobbies. My 2 workouts were like clockwork ... My whole day was like clockwork! I declined the few invitations to go out when the proposed hours came into conflict with my program. Then I had the strength to do 40 minutes of fitness exercises, and later in the day 40 minutes of exercise bike in an upright position. It was nice. I was at home, I was comfortable, I didn't think very much in perspective. And in the summer I started running in the countryside. I was quite isolated there. I read my books for 9th grade, I did the exercises again, but this time I ran. In less than a month I set a personal record - 6 km, and then 7.4. I couldn't believe it! I, who was tired of 2 rounds at school, was invited to a city competition. And I became the 3rd in a row. But the weather is getting colder. I neglected sports. My schedule became chaotic and messy, not that the training was very stressful. And I started to lose strength little by little. I was losing my mood for sports. However, 3 weeks ago I joined an athletics team. My hope was that some systematic training, and with great people, would be much easier. And so it happened. But it is not what I have always aspired to! I dreamed of making my long runs WITHOUT BREAKS, where I counted every kilometer and every minute. I enjoy training. The things we do are extreme, interesting and rich in diversity. But when I decided to try my new ankle weights today, I went to the big park in the city. I couldn't do anything! I couldn't control my breathing or my gait. Instead of toes, I stepped on my heels, as if in Dustaban style. I don't know what the reason was! In general, I hate this park ... The whole city, although one of the 4 largest in Bulgaria, seems to me extremely boring and very familiar. The park is too lonely and scary. Along the way, I thought about what I would do if I was not alone then, but in the pool with a good friend of mine among crazy peers. Why does it depend so much on the environment And why are there times when I show no interest? I would say that there is no one to run with me. At the moment I am in love and terribly confused, I do not feel comfortable even in my suit. I don't like loneliness. A year ago I trained all by myself, but at home. WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES ME FEEL CONFUSED AND LOCKED, LOSE FORM? ARE HORMONES? LACK OF VITAMINS? IS IT PAMPERING, OR SOMETHING DEPENDING ON THE ENVIRONMENT?