"... What If I Lock You Up? If I Throw The Key Into The Sea? .."

We met HIM there. It all started with my nickname. Another Golightly I meant, another — he. We started writing emails every day. From general tales, to the deepest confessions and confessions of the soul ... We liked each other like no one else! It was the "Prince" of fairy tales for me ... It sounds ugly because I'm married. He is also married. We exchanged phone numbers and some conversations started - 8 hours a day! And we didn't have enough !! We decided to meet in a small town that fell right in the middle of the distance that separated the cities in which we lived. I arrived 2-3 minutes before him. I was shaking all over. He saw me in the distance, turned off the car in the middle of the road, and ran toward me. He hugged me and cried. For about 5 minutes we stood like that ... hugged, cried and speechless. "-I love you!" - he said "I love you too" -I wanted to scream! .. I didn't say anything..I swallowed dry and pressed him even harder to myself. The town was small - there was only one cafe full of grandparents playing backgammon or cards and a huge billiard club full of children no older than 16. We sat there. We looked at each other without being able to get enough of each other. And it was sad because we lived something we both knew had no future. If we had met two years earlier, everything would have been different. The hours passed ... we drank our coffees and walked along the beach. The hour of parting came, and each went his own way to his prosaic life. "I know, he told me on the phone the next day that something would happen and we would be together someday ... forever ... I want you to give birth to my children." I changed the subject because I was realistic. And so the days passed. Endless phone calls and emails. I was once sent on a business trip to his city. We saw each other again..and my world became even more beautiful..but it was in a matter of hours. The Christmas and New Year holidays were coming. Just thinking I wouldn't talk on the phone for more than 10 days ruined me. My world was collapsing! However, I endured! When we heard each other again, I roared like a donkey. So 2-3 days passed. In our next conversation, I felt that he was somehow different, sadder. "-I don't know which is stronger, he told me-the joy that I have you in my life or the pain that you are not by my side every day, that I can't wake up in the morning next to you..I can't stand it .." I fell in panic..it was the beginning of the end .. And we had so many things to live together..we had never made love..we had never slept in each other's arms..we hadn't walked carefree..I hadn't told him how much I love him! I made it easier, however ... I sent him an email. I was very depressed, I lost 10 kilograms and 10 years of my life. But I wanted him to be happy. I didn't want him to be tormented by thoughts about me, about us, about our future ... And it's Christmas again ... a whole year has passed, which for me was equal to at least 10 ... and I miss him, and I want him, and I suffer. I want so much to be SO loved .. I will not ask how to forget it, because I do not want to forget it, I WILL NEVER FORGET IT! I wrote the story simply because I never shared it with anyone. This is my sin and my joy! I'm glad I loved and was loved! The only thing I wonder is will the pain ever dull ? Dear A., ​​I will always love you and there is not a day that I do not think about you! H. Golightly I was very depressed, I lost 10 kilograms and 10 years of my life. But I wanted him to be happy. I didn't want him to be tormented by thoughts about me, about us, about our future ... And it's Christmas again ... a whole year has passed, which for me was equal to at least 10 ... and I miss him, and I want him, and I suffer. I want so much to be SO loved .. I will not ask how to forget it, because I do not want to forget it, I WILL NEVER FORGET IT! I wrote the story simply because I never shared it with anyone. This is my sin and my joy! I'm glad I loved and was loved! The only thing I wonder is, will the pain ever dull ?? Dear A., ​​I will always love you and there is not a day that I do not think about you! H. Golightly I was very depressed, I lost 10 kilograms and 10 years of my life. But I wanted him to be happy. I didn't want him to be tormented by thoughts about me, about us, about our future ... And it's Christmas again ... a whole year has passed, which for me was equal to at least 10 ... and I miss him, and I want him, and I suffer. I want so much to be SO loved .. I will not ask how to forget it, because I do not want to forget it, I WILL NEVER FORGET IT! I wrote the story simply because I never shared it with anyone. This is my sin and my joy! I'm glad I loved and was loved! The only thing I wonder is, will the pain ever dull ?? Dear A., ​​I will always love you and there is not a day that I don't think about you! H. Golightly And it's Christmas again..a whole year has passed, which for me was equal to at least .. and I miss it, and I want it, and I suffer .. I want so much to be SO loved .. I will not ask how to forget it, because I don't want to forget it, I WILL NEVER FORGET IT! I wrote the story simply because I never shared it with anyone. This is my sin and my joy! I'm glad I loved and was loved! The only thing I wonder is, will the pain ever dull ?? Dear A., ​​I will always love you and there is not a day that I do not think about you! H. Golightly It's Christmas again..a whole year has passed, which for me was equal to at least .. and I miss it, and I want it, and I suffer .. I want so much to be SO loved .. I will not ask how to forget it, because I don't want to forget it, I WILL NEVER FORGET IT! I wrote the story simply because I never shared it with anyone. This is my sin and my joy! I'm glad I loved and was loved! The only thing I wonder is, will the pain ever dull ?? Dear A., ​​I will always love you and there is not a day that I do not think about you! H. Golightly This is my sin and my joy! I'm glad I loved and was loved! The only thing I wonder is, will the pain ever dull ?? Dear A., ​​I will always love you and there is not a day that I don't think about you! H. Golightly This is my sin and my joy! I'm glad I loved and was loved! The only thing I wonder is, will the pain ever dull ?? Dear A., ​​I will always love you and there is not a day that I do not think about you! H. Golightly