Hello everyone :) F, 39 years old. I've been reading this site for a few days - I came across it by chance and decided that I could share it here. I do not expect anyone to solve my problems, but it would not be bad for at least one to find something useful for themselves from my experience. I had a 2-year relationship as a student with a boy we fell in love with, I waited for him to resign (another year and a half) and then we broke up. He got married, I got married. I had no children from my marriage. I don't know why - according to the doctors there was no reason, but it never happened. After 7 years of marriage came my decision to divorce. The dissimilarity in the characters, his strange decisions and prohibitions ... we didn't fight, we didn't cheat on each other, but it didn't happen. My parents completely denied my decision, but bowed their heads. A year later I met that student love. And he is divorced. With the difference that he has a child. We started seeing each other over coffee, etc. and ... we lived together. We shared how we thought about each other over the years. Nice feeling. Wonderful. I did not understand how 3 years passed. During this period, he did not want another child, and I dreamed of that. I was tormented, but I knew it took time. Otherwise a wonderful relationship, friendship, understanding, family comfort ... peace. My parents did NOT want to hear about him either - they continued to suffer for my ex-husband. I ignored their opinion. I started not sharing with them. It was important to look at the man next to me. We were happy. In the meantime, I completed a master's degree in order to have more chances in finding a job and thank God - I started working in my specialty. Naturally, my salary was negligible, and we lived in a dormitory. We wanted our own home. He already wanted a child and we were trying to get pregnant. It still didn't work, and again the doctors couldn't find a reason. I'm fine, he's fine, but to no avail. And so 2 more years passed. Gradually, we even began to find it difficult to meet our obligatory expenses, and we could not even think of housing. So, after discussions and reflections, we decided to go abroad, and later he too (he had a relatively well-paid job in Bulgaria and it was more risky if he left). He didn't want to in the interest of the truth, but I insisted that this was the best possible way to make our dreams come true. And BGN 300. salary was not a big risk for me. My parents welcomed me naturally. I will be far from him, even in the beginning - I ignored. So on the 5th year of our life together, I left. You know that every emigrant has a history. Well, I have mine too, but I've been through it all. I was stubborn. I didn't know the language - I studied it on the go, worked for the minimum there and fought - around the clock. We had dreams after all. And I achieved a lot. I started from scratch until I finally took a leadership position. Our evenings were spent on Skype. I came 2 or 3 times a year. He avoided the subject of coming to me. I kept thinking he needed time, and I waited, and instead he said more and more that he preferred me to come back. And so ... 3 years, until I understood unequivocally that he would not come! We discussed and decided, I emphasize - we both decided that if he doesn't feel like it, then I will come back! I started to organize everything - documents, telephone contracts, bank accounts, leaving work, leaving the country ... Nobody understood me from my friends. It was more logical for him to come. But I said to myself, if I couldn't convince him, I would go home. There is nothing more important than being with the right person next to you. I will be at home, it will be warm, I will go to bed next to him, we will have a baby ... My parents guess at this moment - they suffered for my decision. I ignored again! However, for the last 10 years (since the divorce) I have not been supported in any of my decisions. I didn't expect it now. I had it and that was enough for me. I was very tired from the cruelty of emigration, from the people, from the feeling that you are not at home, from sharing a kitchen, bathroom, toilet in most cases with strangers, from the endless evenings on Skype, from electronic kisses, from everything! Fuck the high standard of living. I would be home by now. I was happy with my decision! A few months later, after organizing everything, I left the foreign country and returned home forever! E, Here is the denouement - a total of almost 9 years of living together, the last 3 and a half more on Skype, but every day - together! On the 5th day after landing in my homeland, my great love decided that it was the right time to tell me how much it pulls me back, how our relationship is exhausted and we have no close ambitions and plans. I was in shock! I'm still! I never, by any means, understood that he thought that way. And since the reason is never just one, I realized my mistakes and I begged, I begged a lot to discuss his solution. No search. He didn't give a chance. And I only had him! For the first time in 10 years, my parents cried with me! To be alive and healthy. I know that there is no other way forward. I know there are people for whom mine will look like white kahar, but it's hard for me to go through that and I needed to share. I'm tired of hearing how strong I am and how I'm going to cope. At this age, everything is different. The forces too. I know that the most logical thing is that he has found another one, although I have no reason to think so, and even so - I do not want to delve into this. Whatever has led me to this, I will follow the path I have drawn. However, if everything written is useful to someone, I will be grateful. If you can - take something useful from my story. I am still under strong emotions to find the positive for myself. Regards: D. I am still under strong emotions to find the positive for myself. Regards: D. I am still under strong emotions to find the positive for myself. Regards: D.
1 Victory_girl answered
Very good story, but for the readers - not for the Author. Let everyone learn their lesson, because I don't see how they can teach a woman like the Author - I'm pretty sure she's one of those people who always knows what she wants and does, who does what? says - stands at the center of life and the world and point. My conclusion is that a person cannot have everything in life, that he has to decide what is important to him and most of all - to see reality as it is, not as it is - as we want it to be. In my opinion, the author's husband has long had another woman and a companion in life and just out of cowardice maintained the illusions of the author three times a year, but it is not his fault, but the fool who believes that because of her dreams a realized, socialized man will be alone for 3 years and will live because of Skype with a lonely emigrant. I wonder how a person can live so long in his fictional world and wake up at 39 without anything. In the end, without a child, because it's too late for that, the last read egg may have passed away at the age of 35, if it existed at all. And so a whole human life goes on, if you are naive enough to believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. What is the solution - just to live on the ground, to know when to stop with something and to know what you want from life. Sorry Author and? wishing much success. I don't think I can? helped - I do not have 1/10 of her life's suffering experience, because rather I am somehow better not in solving failed lives, but in preventing them, which I think is too late. I have seldom read such a hopeless story of such a naive person, and I have seldom felt such pity for an Author here. The most tragic thing is that both the author is young and in the middle of life, and it is too late for everything important in it. It is mostly late for children, while exactly 3-4 years ago she could have achieved something at least with artificial insemination. Pity, pity and only pity I feel for her ... and I roar