There is a mess in my head, firstly because of the many situations that have arisen, secondly because of motherhood, which tires me, and it is difficult for me to put them in order. I will try to be shorter and write something that makes sense. My husband and I are 31 years old. We have an 8 month old baby. The baby is wonderful - a very good, smiling, non-whining, wonderful child. The only downside is the fact that I don't sleep well, because since my teeth started to erupt, it can't sleep and wakes up on average every 2 hours at night. Abe, I get up about 3-4 times at least in one night. It's good that it's breast milk, so she sucks and falls asleep. The problem is that my husband is very negative. He sat down with a glass of beer every night, but after the baby was born and it became harder, he drank 2 liters a night, and sometimes mixed with vodka, whiskey. When we went to the supermarket he always took a bottle of vodka and shyly said "it's on promotion, I can't help but take it". It got to the point that he started to rage a little - he was arguing with me, he was ironic, in the evening he was slowing down the baby's bathroom so that he could drink, and he was crying wearily and looking for her. He never hit me, but I could see him clenching his jaw. I could only share with my mother, but she worried about me and my father and I had a conversation and he stopped drinking. He hasn't drunk in a month, but he's been damn depressed. As he drank, he became cheerful. He is constantly gloomy, grumpy. He doesn't want us to take the child out with the stroller, he wants to open the blinds and lie at home. If we go out, he wants to be in a deserted park, where there is a greater chance that we will be robbed than to walk normally. This morning, after no sleep, I got up at 8 o'clock. and I started the usual - to make a mess for the baby, to wash it, to give him the drops, to change his clothes, to cuddle, and he became super sullen and looked bad. I became so dumb that I told him to rest and that we would go out alone. He began to pick on what it was like for me to go out. I explained that the baby wanted and was looking for a walk and he said "me, I want a lot of things too, but no". We went out, but it rained and we went home and he got dressed and went out. Now I put the baby to sleep because it's time, he's always asleep at this hour, so I can take the time to share here. I try very hard, last night I left the baby in the walker, and he just watched him and teased him from time to time, it was super annoying for me to be able to make potato meatballs. In the end, he argued with me about why I cooked the dumb meatballs, I sat on the stove for 2 hours ... so. In the morning if he does not drink coffee he is nervous. It is constantly stuck on the phone.
Even when he holds the child, he lets the child go and reads news and various things about the car. In the evening, when we fall asleep, the baby lies down and stares at the phone until he falls asleep. He refuses food. Yesterday he ate for the last time at 2 p.m. and in the evening not even dinner. My baby and I ate on our own ... He refuses to go anywhere. A vacation at the sea or in the Balkans would be a plague with a child, if on the walk the child grumbles something and starts to get nervous and nagging and scolds me "calm the baby, you are his mother, not me" ... It helps me a lot, I often shop alone , washes dishes often, but everything else is for me - from cooking, vacuum cleaner, wet rag, washing machine, to everything about the baby, sometimes because I'm afraid it will get nervous at the very least, I even grab myself and go to the supermarket with the baby, and as the shopkeeper carried on the stairs and bags and baby, but I'm not saying that. I love my child and I wanted him so much. I haven't given a penny since I was born. Not that I don't need clothes or anything, but I'm looking for it first. Always be fed and clean and dressed. This Sunday we are alone and he is drinking coffee. Last Sunday he was angry again and went out to wash his car and drink coffee, I was walking the baby alone. I felt very bad when I saw mothers and fathers with babies in the park, smiling, not grumbling ... He had a bad mother, at least according to him.
She didn't watch him much, she was always on vacation and even to this day she ironizes and crushes him, she even tried to transfer a loan to us. His relatives had lured him with small loans that he had to repay, lies, fraud ... he did not believe in the family, he even often turned against my relatives. I know it must be hard for him, I try to cheer him up anyway, I ask him how he is, I suggest we do things he loves. It doesn't work. He constantly complains and spits on people when he goes out on the street. One angered him for not giving a turn signal on the road, another for talking loudly on the phone, a third for laughing and having fun, another for being dressed like a peasant ... like that. Someone is always bothering him. In the supermarket that it was crowded, I had to go out with me quickly. And I shop fast in general. I gave birth, they cut me, sewed me, then I couldn't take steps, but I tightened up and didn't say anything, in the meantime I watched a baby and didn't sleep at all and I still find strength, and he complains constantly. He denies that he does not want the baby. But he is very unstable, very non-combatant. I'm different, I won't give blood to pee, but how can I help him to be stronger and not susceptible to irritants? I want us to be a nice family. I suggest we do things we love about him. It doesn't work. He constantly complains and spits on people when he goes out on the street. One angered him for not giving a turn signal on the road, another for talking loudly on the phone, a third for laughing and having fun, another for being dressed like a peasant ... like that. Someone is always bothering him. In the supermarket that it was crowded, I had to go out with me quickly. And I shop fast in general.
I gave birth, they cut me, sewed me, then I couldn't take steps, but I tightened up and didn't say anything, in the meantime I watched a baby and didn't sleep at all and I still find strength, and he complains constantly. He denies that he does not want the baby. But he is very unstable, very non-combatant. I'm different, I won't give blood to pee, but how can I help him to be stronger and not susceptible to irritants? I want us to be a nice family. I suggest we do things we love about him. It doesn't work. He constantly complains and spits on people when he goes out on the street. One angered him for not giving a turn signal on the road, another for talking loudly on the phone, a third for laughing and having fun, another for being dressed like a peasant ... like that. Someone is always bothering him. In the supermarket that it was crowded, I had to go out with me quickly. And I shop fast in general. I gave birth, they cut me, sewed me, then I couldn't take steps, but I tightened up and didn't say anything, in the meantime I watched a baby and didn't sleep at all and I still find strength, and he complains constantly. He denies that he does not want the baby. But he is very unstable, very non-combatant. I'm different, I won't give blood to pee, but how can I help him to be stronger and not susceptible to irritants? I want us to be a nice family. He constantly complains and spits on people when he goes out on the street. One angered him for not giving a turn signal on the road, another for talking loudly on the phone, a third for laughing and having fun, another for being dressed like a peasant ... like that.
Someone is always bothering him. In the supermarket that it was crowded, I had to go out with me quickly. And I shop fast in general. I gave birth, they cut me, sewed me, then I couldn't take steps, but I tightened up and didn't say anything, in the meantime I watched a baby and didn't sleep at all and I still find strength, and he complains constantly. He denies that he does not want the baby. But he is very unstable, very non-combatant. I'm different, I won't give blood to pee, but how can I help him to be stronger and not susceptible to irritants? I want us to be a nice family. He constantly complains and spits on people when he goes out on the street. One angered him for not giving a turn signal on the road, another for talking loudly on the phone, a third for laughing and having fun, another for being dressed like a peasant ... like that. Someone is always bothering him. In the supermarket that it was crowded, I had to go out with me quickly. And I shop fast in general. I gave birth, they cut me, sewed me, then I couldn't take steps, but I tightened up and didn't say anything, in the meantime I watched a baby and didn't sleep at all and I still find strength, and he complains constantly. He denies that he does not want the baby. But he is very unstable, very non-combatant. I'm different, I won't give blood to pee, but how can I help him to be stronger and not susceptible to irritants? I want us to be a nice family. a third that he laughed and had fun, another that he was dressed like a peasant ... like that. Someone is always bothering him. In the supermarket that it was crowded, I had to go out with me quickly. And I shop fast in general. I gave birth, they cut me, sewed me, then I couldn't take steps, but I tightened up and didn't say anything, in the meantime I watched a baby and didn't sleep at all and I still find strength, and he complains constantly.
He denies that he does not want the baby. But he is very unstable, very non-combatant. I'm different, I won't give blood to pee, but how can I help him to be stronger and not susceptible to irritants? I want us to be a nice family. a third that he laughed and had fun, another that he was dressed like a peasant ... like that. Someone is always bothering him. In the supermarket that it was crowded, I had to go out with me quickly. And I shop fast in general. I gave birth, they cut me, sewed me, then I couldn't take steps, but I tightened up and didn't say anything, in the meantime I watched a baby and didn't sleep at all and I still find strength, and he complains constantly. He denies that he does not want the baby. But he is very unstable, very non-combatant. I am another, I will not give blood to pee, but how can I help him to be stronger and not susceptible to irritants? I want us to be a nice family. but I tightened up and didn't say anything, meanwhile I was looking at a baby and I didn't sleep at all and I still find strength, and he complains constantly. He denies that he does not want the baby. But he is very unstable, very non-combatant. I'm different, I won't give blood to pee, but how can I help him to be stronger and not susceptible to irritants? I want us to be a nice family. but I tightened up and didn't say anything, meanwhile I was looking at a baby and I didn't sleep at all and I still find strength, and he complains constantly. He denies that he does not want the baby. But he is very unstable, very non-combatant. I'm different, I won't give blood to pee, but how can I help him to be stronger and not susceptible to irritants? I want us to be a nice family.
1 straightmuscleandmore answered
Opinion of Dirty Daddy, specialist: I read your post carefully - I think you have the following situation: The appearance of a child can completely change a relationship - before the child your daily life was determined by other factors, now the whole world revolves around the child. Not all men like such a change, obviously your husband has something like that. An example of a holiday - well, going somewhere with a small child is definitely not a pleasure for a man. He wants to have fun, to do something interesting for him, he wants sex, he wants a lot of things. The small child with you certainly does not allow such freedom of choice of activities and places many restrictions. This is true, of course, in everyday life, not just on vacation. This is one side ... there is another: Your husband is slowly but surely beginning to realize what happened: while until yesterday you were there for him, now you are there for the child. You devote all your attention and time to the child ... the man remains in the background. He gradually realized what Freud had long written: The goal of every woman is pregnancy, the man is only the means to it. Put yourself in the place of the man now in a similar situation - until yesterday, for example, you both worked, there was no child to distract the woman, what they both want - they do. And suddenly everything changes - the woman stops working, begins to devote 95% of time and energy to the baby, the man stays aside and feels that the entire financial burden of the family weighs on his shoulders for many years to come. Some people can consider all these consequences in advance and decide for themselves whether they want to cause this and whether they will cope with the situation. Most, unfortunately, don't think about it until it happens to them - but then it's too late. I have personally decided that I do not want such a thing and I have not had children. But to each his own .... Unfortunately I can not give you universally working advice ... maybe if from time to time you organize something just for the two of you, and leave the child with a grandmother ... Think about your own words "I love I wanted my child so much ... "- in fact it is always like that, the woman wants a child ... you got what you wanted ... and he?