Unexplained Connection

Hello! I'm a girl of 14 and until recently I was with a boy with whom we still can't figure out. I liked him for a few months and kept quiet, but one day I wrote to him and confessed everything. Since we didn't have the opportunity to see each other for several days in a row, we just wrote to each other. Finally we went out, he had called his friend and there were three of us. I was super nervous because I was waiting for this moment for 4, 5 months. I scrolled. Most of the time I didn't talk, I was super weird. After all, we kissed, hugged, drooled ... I went home and he hadn't written to me. I had gone crazy because I knew that the girl he was dating was not myself, and I felt that he had noticed. The next day I wrote to him to go out and he told me that we did not understand each other, that he was not happy with how I behaved yesterday and whether it would be a problem if we broke up to remain friends. I marked it as read and did not write anything. The interesting part came ... I just went into the bathroom, took a glass and cut my hand. I cried ... for him ... one or two days passed in which he hadn't written to me and so far we can't understand each other. Tell me how to get along because he knows I don't want to be just friends. Thank you in advance!