Triple relationships If you have sex more than one night with another couple, sooner or later your relationship will grow into a "triple relationship". Often people do not know what they are doing and this leads to a breakdown and many hurt feelings. Triple relationships can be a prerequisite for wonderful love and growth, and can be very traumatic. The lack of information on this topic leads to one or the other. 1 and 2 we will call the couple a man and a woman, and 3 we will call the third person / man or woman / who joins the already formed couple. In this article we will look at the perceptions of each of the three positions. If you are number 3: Most likely you are invited by 1 and 2 to join them. Maybe in the beginning just for sex. Some couples are not open to anything more than one-night stands and are wary of bonding. But you may come across a couple who are open to developing something more. If you come across such a couple, it is good to be aware of some things.
First, you start communicating with two people who already have a relationship, intimacy and love. You are external to them. It's a good idea to be clear about this, especially in the beginning. This will protect you from the emergence of expectations, the moment the "convergence" begins. Be grateful for the opportunity. Two people who love and trust each other have invited you and allowed you to enter between them. This is a vote of great confidence in you. Try to realize it. Thank you, both internally and aloud. Don't allow yourself to be asked for more attention and the like. They are already doing enough for you and will continue in time.
Be patient. As a third outsider, you will most likely fall for one of the two in the couple. This is normal. The couple you are communicating with also knows it, rest assured, these things do not go unnoticed, even if you do not say them out loud. If you start focusing only on the object of your interest, things will end very soon. You may accuse the other person of jealousy. It may look that way, but the problem is in you. You need to understand that in order for two people to open up to you and be ready to try something more than one-time sex, it means that they both deserve deep respect. This is a rare opportunity. Just because you fall in love with one doesn't mean the other doesn't deserve attention.
Compensate for your lack of sexual interest in him with another type of attitude. Try to get to know him. To find out what a person is, what excites him, etc. Become friends, the closer, the better. Get as close to this person as you can. Relationships in bed will help you communicate more freely. If you realize that there is no point in pushing because you have no interest in this person and you are only interested in communicating with the object of your sexual interest, it is good to find the strength to stop. Finish things as quickly as possible and retire, keeping your sense of respect for these people and what they gave you a chance to experience together. If you don't do it very soon, everything will end with hurt feelings and traumas for all parties. The reason things end with a storm of emotions is that if you don't distribute your attention equally, part sexually, a part interest in the other.
You will inevitably begin to "surround" the object of sexual interest only for yourself. You will unknowingly begin to point out your advantages over those of your regular partner. Some of your own words and gestures will go unnoticed by you, but not by them. To put it mildly, it is rude to try to attract one of you, completely forgetting that the other person has trusted you no less and has given you a chance to experience something wonderful together. This is not about jealousy, in the sense you usually understand. Try to understand the situation. You are given a chance for an unusual love, built entirely on the trust between two people and you, unknowingly begin to "steal" one person. You gradually stop communicating with the other person. This is noticeable, rest assured. Do not confuse the other person's behavior with jealousy. To understand your situation more clearly, imagine that you have invited someone to sleep in your house. You trusted him.
You fed him, you watered him, and finally, he tries to rob you. This is not typical jealousy, but it is about awakening completely different feelings such as disappointment, humiliation, insult, which in turn can now activate jealousy. If you decide to talk, instead of trying to explain that it is about the ego and jealousy of the other person, realize for yourself what situation you are in and whether you are acting adequately towards it. Isn't your ego and lack of equal contact with the two at the root of the nascent storm of emotions? Answer some questions as honestly as you can: Are you trying to communicate with the person, who is not the object of your sexual desires? Do you know him? Are you open to it? Are you doing what is necessary to get closer to him? If the answer is that you are completely indifferent to this person and do not care to get close to him, just thank him for the time shared and have the courage to retire quickly and painlessly for everyone. In short, when forming a triple relationship, number 3 must realize that there are 2 people in front of him, not 1.
And if there is no interest in communication, it is better to withdraw to both. The third must try to perceive the couple as a whole, even though they are two separate individuals. Only by perceiving them as a whole is there a chance to obtain a new, larger whole, of three individuals, connecting and interacting in harmony, understanding, mutual trust and love. It is perfectly normal for the 3rd person to see things in the way of communication that the couple does not see. If he tries, with the best of feelings, to explain their problem and help "open his eyes" to one of the two, things will get worse. You need to understand that the number 3 is an unstable configuration and the energy always tends to a stable, equilibrium level of 2, 4, 6… The moment you try to open the eyes of one you form an unspoken "camp" with the other. The ego inevitably makes the connection "here, this man understands me more, how come my man doesn't understand me like that ?!". He who has to "open his eyes" even if he realizes and agrees with what is said, the ego in him will fight, because he will see the camp formed between the two and will realize (quite rightly) that there is no longer a triple intention and energy. , and double. Let's look at 1 and 2: With the couple, one will enjoy a lively interest from number 3. The other person will receive less attention and this is inevitable. It is necessary to realize the ego and what exactly is love. Triple relationships can show you directly how you feel and how strong it is. Can you rejoice when your loved one receives love and enjoyment from communicating with another? Are you happy for him? Do you enjoy seeing him happy? You will inevitably understand through your feelings the answers to these questions. You will be given a chance to understand your ego, how it works and to overcome it.
And if you are the one who is the object of attention on both sides, just indulging and enjoying is extremely insufficient. This does not mean that you do not do it, but that you have the most key role in the triple relationship and you need to approach as responsibly as possible. You will have to learn to distribute your attention and love between two / no matter the male-female configuration /. Balancing is sometimes exhausting. Don't get too exhausted. If you feel that you are beginning to become a mediator between the other two people, state it clearly and stop this vicious practice. It will crash very soon if you continue it. Declare yourself and unite others. After all, you are the person in whom the attention is concentrated, especially at the beginning of the relationship. If you realize that the two just have no interest in each other, do not want to get to know each other, listen, and communicate just for you, then find the strength to stop things. This will mean that you should be prepared to give up the double attention you receive and to which you may quickly become addicted. -------------
The only way to avoid ego struggles in triple relationships is to constantly realize that it is triple energy, not a double one. Do not form bearings. Do not try to find agreement with one of the two and try to explain this and that to the "misunderstood".
Look for the contact between everyone and whatever you say should have a common goal of "triple harmonic amplification". If you keep the goal in mind, you will also find the right words with which you will instantly begin to see the positive result and how the feeling of a common united field grows. Triple relationships are a learning environment and if you expect only flowers and roses, you will soon find yourself in a hell of emotions. At the same time, in moments of harmony, you will realize
1 kendallgh answered
As I read, I admit in a line or two the writing, I wondered how hard the author posted it. In the end, it became clear to me - tell us how limited and congested we, the unfortunates, are, who do not seek great love by squatting in threes, which is the most natural thing on this earth. Tell me, author, it's good that it dawned on me not to live in delusion anymore. I am waiting for the next revelation - about the even greater five and six loves and that the most natural human relations and intercourses are the orgies.