To The Man I Loved

This is a confession I loved you. And now I love you. Apparently I didn't know what love was. Now I probably don't know either. I will never know what I lost. But I loved you. Not the way he wanted. I wasn't human either. I made many mistakes, you punished me, now I punish myself. I can't forgive the shortcomings I have caused you - caress, love, attention, tenderness, enough intimacy. I thought I loved you. He rebuked me quietly, sometimes gently, sometimes just silently. Ah, how much I loved you .... I look for guilt only in myself. I know you probably have your mistakes too. But I know mine. They're eating me. If it doesn't work, I'm sorry. To my Beetle