Hello, my story is long. It all started 20 years ago. My brother, who is 4 years older than me, is still 12-13 years old. At the age of 14, he was already given a suspended sentence for drug possession. Quarrels, quarrels, running away from home, searching in the cold winter nights in the footsteps of his 10-year-old self and mom crying in the streets .... To thank him for the life given to him by his mother, he started beating her to give him money. We are a poor family, Dad worked as a security guard in a company and often replaced his colleagues. The fighting continued until at one point Mom's hand was blue and swollen and she could no longer hide it from Dad (so as not to bother him). The same day, my father died of a heart attack in my arms. My brother came home while my mom and I tried to revive him. He asked, "What are you doing to him" Mom told him Dad had died. My brother just laughed and went to the kitchen for dinner (he didn't come to his funeral, nor has he ever stepped on his grave). I don't want to describe the shock and horror of a 14-year-old girl .... Mom is retired due to illness - she can hardly see. She started working in a kindergarten as a cook at night. Whatever he earned, salary, pension, my father's pension, everything was stolen from my dear brother. Days, months of hunger (literally), harassment, threats, police, district, complaints ... I started working, here and there in the cafes, to study. I grew up fast and imperceptibly became the ladder at home. I became a protector of my own son's mother. No matter how hard I tried to be good, he ruined it. Years of stress, threats, fighting, theft, extortion by my brother for his empty drug. Living on the edge of poverty. Elapsed time no childhood, no peace, no normal life for a growing girl. Here I am now, 32 years old, studying my third high school with a beautiful child a year and a half old and the same hell as years ago. My brother is already 37 years old, all his life not knowing what a job is, what a normal life is. He once again stole all the gold from my child (gifts for baptism, birthday ...) We couldn't manage with the money, when could we? He had overdosed on heroin last summer and was in a coma. Shock for mom who found it. Let's take out a loan again to pay his insurance One week was good. And the seventh day-bam shaken and drunk. This summer, however, the drop spilled over. On June 2, 2017, I noticed how the little one was watching something in the bathroom, and what was wrong with my brother. I went wild, screamed and forced him out. I kicked him out! I don't know how but I kicked him out! Two months of telephone threats of murder (we were used to that) and suicide followed. And two months later he settled in our yard as a tramp. Neither I nor my mother want us to let him inside the house. The end! Just the End! During all these years of harassment, after all the methods to help him (absolutely everything that can be done), we ran out. Neither I nor my mother want to carry his cross anymore !!! When I talk to him, the only thing I hear is "I want to shake, what am I doing to you?" He has been in our yard since September, lying and sleeping on the ground. My mother and I cry all night, hugging softly in the living room. In the morning, the tears do not stop either. But I'm already wondering why I'm crying. For my unfulfilled dreams, for my past years in which I have not seen daylight, for my brother, for the shame that burns me from within, for the deep and inconsolable pain of my mother? I do not know. I can't sleep from nightmares in which I dream that my brother is killing my mother and I can't save her. I don't want to sleep alone, how come? I'm lying warm and he's out in the cold! I don't eat anymore, how hungry my brother is! I walk like a zombie. I can't study anymore, and I'm in my senior year. I can't work, I don't have the strength and desire for anything. My child's father helps me, we work together, he pays for courses, he trains me himself. When I'm with my husband, I can't sleep, I worry about my mother and the child sometimes stays with her (the little one acts as a medicine, as a living force for life). I'm afraid I'm ruining my new family. I'm constantly on the phone, I'm terrified if my phone rings at a later time and until I see which e-heart stops. After my brother's recent outbursts, which are described as breaking in, breaking windows, crashing my mother and a stolen laptop, I filed a lawsuit. Well, a month later, I issued a restraining order. Miraculously, my brother was obviously tired of lying in the open and went coldly to the commune. Hallelujah !!! A moment of happiness, a moment of hope, a moment of tired, sad smile on our faces. Until today, when the police called me that he was out again. I went home immediately and found him in my backyard. I asked him "why did he come" and he replied "it's not for me there, I want to hang out and live in freedom, I just need shelter" I was speechless, as if I heard this for the first time. I told him to go where he wanted and that I would call the police. He came out cursing me and threatening to kill me. Now what. He chose his way of life outside. My mother is broken, broken and barely alive. I continue to wear the cross that is not mine. A closed circle of despair, fear, weakness. My poor child, I will not be able to give him the mother he deserves, because I am no longer human. Punished, but I don't know with what? .
Answers 9
Your job, do as you please. Just don't risk your child's life! Yes, and it can be touched when shaken. Aman, you've been doing him a disservice all these years.
You need a psychologist and a therapist with your mother because it is obvious that you are attached to someone who has nothing to do with you other than use you. You have no responsibility to this man at all, because he has not shown himself to be a brother or a son. The burden comes from what he causes to get the drug, not from his stupid excuses for not bothering anyone like a drug addict. Don't threaten and call the police directly if the restraining order is still in force. Otherwise, get a new one. Report him to any illegal action, assist neighbors, acquaintances or anyone who charges him. The simple fact is that it is too late for him, he will not change and the best thing you can do is to protect yourself and others from it. Because the only thing he can do is destroy.
In my opinion, the only salvation is to go with your mother to your husband and not tell your brother where you are. As a last resort, go abroad. Your child, and you don't deserve this life. Get away from your brother! Sell the apartment you live in and run away from it.
I will say it is extremely extreme, but I would order it .... Another proof that Bulgaria does not have adequate laws! The law is effective when those in power have material benefits. I was horrified until I read you, I could not imagine such a nightmare. But it is absurd to tolerate all this, it is absurd! I hope he finds poisonous mushrooms somewhere and eats plenty.
You have big hearts. I admire you. But as a bystander, I say - it's time to get rid of it emotionally. No mousse has many years of life left, obviously there is no way to help him. Just arm yourself literally, and ask God to take it home in a light and calm way. This is life. If he had a little feeling for you, he would have freed you from his presence long ago. Good times will come, both for you and for him in another life.
Calm down, author. But listen now: take protective measures. This is not a joke. What you need: hot spray and electric shock (if you can afford it). The spray is cheap, in the range of BGN 5-20. The other is more expensive, you need at least 300,000 V to be effective. Ask, there are them in every gun shop. If he starts lying in the yard again, you call the police. Behavior will improve a lot when you see the uniformed ones - I guarantee you that a steel stick and a bullet will fix the dirty drug addicts. But ... understand one thing - he has abused you all his life, he knows how helpless your mother is. He will try again. And now think about it, I guarantee it. Be prepared to try to break in again. Now it's the hard part for you. If he breaks in, you use the spray - you aim at the eyes. Then (or if it manages to grab you) you hit the electric shock and don't let it go until it collapses on the ground (the store can instruct you how to use it). When it is already on the ground - electric shock directly into the larynx. Then it's clear - kick directly in the groin. This is an animal and you will now treat it like the dirty scumbag it is. You show no mercy because you know how much you will receive (and have received) from it. Again - in the throat and eyes. You show what you do with stupid animals - cruelty, ruthless aggression, permanent and irreversible bodily harm. When you show him that you are not really defenseless at all, the dirty subhuman mongrel will go to a ditch to die. Just because you share blood doesn't mean you're a brother and sister. This is an animal, you are not. Drug addicts have no place among people. You've done great so far and things will get better soon. But, as I told you, you have to take self-defense into your own hands. The patrol cannot stand at the door day and night. You will have to teach the scoundrel respect.
I am sorry for what is happening to you and especially for what your child is going through. It's hard for me to tell you everything I want, because I also have a drug problem and I know what's wrong with him, but I know it's not easy for you either. The difference between me and your brother is that I have money to support my needs. I don't cause problems, I don't steal, I don't disturb anyone, my relatives don't even know about it. I had a nasty moment when I would do anything to get my drugs, but I would never go to my parents. I just wouldn't do what you're going through. And yet, as scary as it is, there is not much in common between coca and heroin. I'm not deluding myself that I can stop as long as I decide, but it's a hundred times harder for your brother. And not wanting to change anything doesn't help. I understand it. I know he's fine as long as he has his doses, but I know that whatever he says deep down, no man who seeks freedom wants to be a slave to drugs. It hurts at the same time, but it's also nice. I know exactly what's wrong with him. But he can't go on like this. Not in your case. You did what you could to help him. From now on, if he doesn't try to stop himself, there is no one to help him. Beauty does not happen by force, not with drugs! Try to throw it out of your yard, if you have to go somewhere and start fresh. With so much education, you can't help but find a good job. It is possible, as long as you believe in yourself. It's hard for me to tell you, but you have to let it go its own way and you go your own way. Think about your son, what will happen to him, seeing you - defenseless and crying forever, seeing your uncle in this state ... It's time to think about your family! Get rid of the anchor that pulls you down.
If the story is not made up or exaggerated - then you are terribly stupid and you have managed to suppress your instinct for self-preservation completely. However, think about your child - is this the environment in which you want him to grow up? Let me 'light up' you for one thing - the fact that this person is your biological brother means absolutely nothing! By no means do you have to do anything for him and feel feelings other than hatred, of course. If I were you, this man would not be alive for a long time, it is a matter of (hopefully a short period of time) for him anyway.
Darling, force him into psychiatry. The next step is to live where he will not find you. It is dangerous for such a person to be around you and your child. I see no other way.