This Shame Is Ruining Me ...

The Story

Hello. I have a huge problem ... I'm shy and too shy. I'm ashamed to talk to others. And now, somehow, I'm all bored. They always talk about some drunken parties and some stupid parties and discos. I am most ashamed of the girls. I am very shy in front of them. Not that I can't talk to girls, but it's hard for me, not to mention an invitation to coffee or an attempt to get closer to a girl. I have the feeling that they will say to themselves "Look at what he's going to do - invite me for coffee" I just can't. When a boy comes ... I feel like I'm 10 years old. I don't see myself as the others. I don't look like a man (and I'm 20 years old) And in front of other boys ... I'm even more ashamed to talk to girls. I just have the feeling that I'm ashamed of everything and I get depressed all the time after I think about it. I didn't shave my body and I'm ashamed to go to the beach (I'm already a student, in Burgas) And I'm a little full. But I will not shave !!! I have tried many times to remove this shame, but I can't! When I went to Burgas, I became estranged from everyone in my group (only girls, ha) and it will be very rare for me to go to their cafe, I talk a little, but very little, I am very shy. And my tastes are not at all like theirs, or in general of everyone in college ... yes, they are not: D But come on this is not such a big problem (but that is a problem, it is a problem) it's just that I'm very shy, too !!!! I don't see the point anymore. I'm not in the mood for anything, he doesn't even smile at me. I live alone, I do what makes me happy and so on, but I know that without contacts it is impossible, but ... obviously I will be like that all my life, because I can't overcome this shame, it ruins me ... he's already ruined me ... I don't see the point in my life, I'm not doing anything, but I have to tighten up, there's no way, no matter how meaningless my life is, I'm going to start a job, so somehow I have to I'm pushing this summer ... And I hate being terrorized with the question "When are you going to be a boyfriend" NEVER I Guess ... That's all. Who wants to write anything, if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y. no matter how meaningless my life is, I'm going to start a job, so somehow I have to push it this summer ... And I hate being terrorized with the question "When are you going to be a boyfriend" NEVER I Guess ... That's all . Who wants to write anything, if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y. no matter how meaningless my life is, I'm going to start a job, so somehow I have to push it this summer ... And I hate being terrorized with the question "When are you going to be a boyfriend" NEVER I Guess ... That's all . Who wants to write anything, if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y. if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y. if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y.

Last Updated
August 13, 2020
Author:
ariadna89

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