I will not advise you anything. It's just that it's not about advice, because if you were, with all these people telling you that it's best for you to get out of there, you would have ended all your relationships with these people a long time ago. Here, in my opinion, it refers to your "soft character", as you express yourself. And do you know what is good in all the slop? That at least you realized where the problem was - in you. That YOU do not have the courage to leave, that because of your age no one will look at you, that you will be alone, you have to start from the beginning, that you will leave your common environment and friends. In short - you will lose the safe and you do not know what awaits you "outside". I'm sure you think so. It's just that this is wrong thinking, because you can't know what REALLY awaits you in the future. Now that you're inertial and on track, in which you do not control the train. I don't want you to misunderstand me, but they (your friend and his mother) will always stay that way, if not with you, then with the other one after you, they will behave in the same way.
YOU need to realize that YOU are the one who allows them to do so. I see from your other comments that you are already aware of this. So the main problem is probably your insecurity. Where does it come from? Low self-esteem, bad childhood? You don't mention anything about parents, brothers, sisters? You talk about your mutual friends, but not about your friends - are these acquaintances of yours only from his side? For me, everything starts from your psyche. Until you can figure out where your fear of leaving this motherfucker really lies, the root cause of that fear, and eliminate that cause (or accept it and work on it at a later stage), you will write requests for help here, and we will give you advice. I don't want to sound rude. Think about yourself, not about the actions of this woman and her son. Every action comes from a cause. Anyway, do you love him? Or are you in the habit of it? Not bad if it's the latter. Many people are like that. But many of them also have respect, understanding and support. And I didn't see any of the above in the words you use to describe your friend. Have you ever wondered why, after he kept his mother's tone on the phone, he then exploded against you? Maybe because he is not used to defending his position, let alone defending the person next to him? And in this particular case he had to and the very fact of it he could not stand? How do you expect support and understanding from such an individual? How do you expect one day to have children from him and for him to raise them in the same way, how his mother raised him? I know it's very difficult to look at things from above when you're "inside."
I went through something like yours, only for a shorter time and not as bad as yours. It was impossible for me to leave him, at least that's what I thought. I was patient, patient and patient, I had the courage to tell him we were done and I still couldn't. Something was bothering me - but two years together, how so ... but friends, acquaintances ... but his mother is sick, he will be very crowded ... but how will he feel .. but then what will I do ... and so on and so forth ... And I must tell you that I uttered the words most unexpectedly for myself. He was angry, he was shaking, he kept ringing, he even dared to tell me that there was someone in the next block where he was invited to go out, he refused because of me, and I should do that now, you see. One kind - the imposition of guilt is a powerful means of control. If you ever have the courage to get rid of these people and fix your life - NEVER succumb to such manipulations. The victims are not them. It's you. Or ... it was you. The first day without him, after I woke up and went to work, I felt an incredible feeling - it was literally as if a huge burden had been removed from my back. I have never before, and never before, experienced such a release, so to speak. Don't deprive yourself of this - you deserve it after so much suffering.
It is not said that it should be immediately, it can happen in weeks, months, but sooner or later you will feel it if you make the decision. Another piece of advice from me - do not regret when you look back (and there will be many such moments). Do not regret and do not get angry, because you will embitter all your future relationships (or relationship). As difficult as it may seem to you now, forgive them. Forgiveness is a way not to accumulate negative emotions. Not because of them. Because of you. Take it as a lesson. Next time you will be much more confident, you will know what to avoid, what to look for and most importantly - you will learn to be independent and you will understand that being alone and lonely are two different things. All these things that I wrote above, of course, are just in case you take the step. You know what. And by the way - when I broke up with the one I'm talking about above, I was 23. Only 3 years younger than you. I met the person with whom I want to be all my life, to be the father of my children and with whom to share the joys and sorrows of 28 years old. Now I am 31. :) People meet their halves at a much later age than this, but you know - what you think you attract. Stop attracting negativity into your life. Start thinking of yourself as a person who deserves something better. This is your Destiny, damn it.
No one but you has the right to interfere there. I have to tell you, I've never been a beautiful girl. I had extremely low self-esteem for years. If you have any complexes about your age, appearance or anything else that makes you afraid to be alone - they should NOT stop you from taking care of yourself and taking your life in your hands. And believe me - I'm talking to you from a very personal experience. Now, before your health and psyche have deteriorated even more and you have completely lost your sober mind, think about the many questions I have asked you above. And I'll be really happy if I read it soon,
1 soze_ answered
Absolutely YES. And that's not the problem. Any foreign woman can do that to you. There are also mothers who do this to their daughters. The problem is TOI. What support, what support, what a father of children this man will be. You will grow old and regret that you did not make the change while you had time. Find a real man - fucking pain!