Hello. :) I'm 15 years old. Extremely direct, too honest and quite freedom-loving. It is precisely because of these things that my problem arises. I do not like what society has become, and in general - the direction in which civilization has taken. I don't live with the idea that I'm different, but I really wish I could just break away from all these hypocritical people. Of course, I consider this to be my minus, because the truth is one - I do not fit, because I want it to be so. Most people like me. I do not know why. I see too many things in myself that should not be there ... Sometimes I have the feeling that the only option for a person to be good, to be objective is to know himself, ie to know what he is. However, everyone we are composed of so many different qualities and interests ... For some, they are quite harmonious and the people themselves are really balanced. I call them happy, although the creation of concepts is not much to my liking, they limit. But they are like that - ordinary people who know where they are. Well, as you can guess, I've been at the other extreme for a while, and I'm not that comfortable. There isn't much drama, so maybe the part of you following this site in search of things with a tearful sound (looking at some stories, obviously there are quite a few) may be disappointed. Well, nothing, after all - put the napkins away. But a smile will not hurt you. :) I'm not complaining. I rarely know what I'm doing and this case - to write my own story, in which there is not even a piece of "life wisdom" and tragic experience, I also don't know what I'm doing. Maybe some of you have already diagnosed me because of the confused writings and non-existent logic, but nothing, I understand you. You are right to some extent. :) However, about this ... my confusion. Some time ago I came across a "term" - coincidentia oppositorum. It means the coincidence of discrepancies - a set of contradictory, even mutually exclusive motives. It is present in art, but in relation to me it also happens. But ... maybe I chose to be like that. I have been wandering around in various gloomy things since I was a child, and they say that I was a very sunny child. I continue to be a "sunny child", although the smiles are not so sincere. No one just cares if something is sincere or not. And I never mastered the art of indifference. And it's kind of like the tip of the ice cream in humans. : D Mmm, Is not it like that? A child spends whole days in kindergarten to socialize - away from his parents. But only it is carried away in one's thoughts. What happens next? He started school and there the system re-educated him to obey. Not always, but the classic case is.
The same child graduates from a school already equipped with full authority, prejudice and ambition. Depending on whether he will continue his education, it is decided whether he will spend his whole life in poverty or try not to. Again, there is no guarantee. Let's say that our child from the example will continue to learn. He has potential, because it would be boring not to, and everyone can achieve everything, etc., and he becomes a Great Man. From a child he becomes a great man, to whom people hide respect and esteem because he is in a position in society. However, what will be his daily life? From work at home? Holiday once or twice a year? Does it sound familiar to you? It usually starts here with some explanations, mantras for positivity ... we had a choice, we had the opportunity to achieve something, but they seem a bit airy to me, so ... let's skip them. I don't remember who said that being part of society is a very bad thing, but the only thing worse than that is ... just not being in it. No way, we are human. Like it or not - we are connected. It is possible to be stubborn, refusing to put up with the idiotic situation at the moment everywhere that people have created in the form of society, but really - I have no desire. You could say that I have succeeded in a lot of relationships, I have friends, well, very little (exactly as much as I need), my parents love me very much, "they are proud of me", even though I'm ... quite a big couch sometimes.
The only thing that could be thrown in the "problems" column is that I soon lost my closest person, to whom I inflated my head with such absurd thoughts. But now, instead of looking for acquaintances, I decided to see what some people who don't know me at all would say. I wonder how you will answer, although there is no specific question. Excuse me for the long and chaotic outburst. : D I want to hear what you think. Is it schizophrenia or not schizophrenia? : D I'm kidding, but really - be honest, you're not going to hurt me, and even if you do, I'll still be grateful. Feel invited to say how terrible I am .. :)) PS For those who stoically endured this and heroically reached the end of my notebook (abe, even if they have not read everything) ... a deep bow. I would hardly have that patience. : D Draw one line at a time, I've already bothered you a lot.
1 xladynextdoorx answered
There comes a moment in every person when he thinks about life; not for something specific, but just like that. I don't know if you remember that any of the phases that a person goes through, all other people go through - without exception. Maybe in a different way, with a different view and a different goal, but each person has thought about his future, as well as his place in society. You can hardly imagine that every person you know has reached this point. And yes, most people come to the conclusion that they can achieve anything, they just have to try. There are few who really succeed; sometimes even just trying to do something significant costs a lot. Otherwise, strange as it may seem to you now, most people dream of just such a life - monotonous but sure. Times demand it. It's a cliché, but it works flawlessly. And you wonder why people like you? Amy obviously has something to like ... and the fact that you feel different from others is completely normal. And yes, you're obviously different - there are 15-year-olds who can write so expressively and grammatically correctly: D Most ninth-graders are like young children, not that I'm 100 years old. Think as much as you want - you have nothing. And it's not schizophrenia: D They're more like ... mirror neurons? .. if it is said in Bulgarian: d No man can be indifferent indefinitely - we just need someone to smile at us, and we immediately smile back :)) That's why no one has "mastered the art of indifference". By the same token, we need society - who do we live for if not for others? I'm not talking about "human opinion" and what they think of us. I'm talking about people. Imagine life without the others. If you are alone in the world and have everything, will you be happy? You will just live your life without missing anything .. except the cinema with friends from time to time .. and the cafes and the songs in the parks .. and spodeli. net of course;) .. and in the end already the family .. and in general all who would give some meaning to what you already have :) In short - in the past no one went to live alone in the woods because he was afraid from bears - it is understandable where the cliché comes from. Yes, but we are now in the 21st century, we have rifles (even more than they need) - and yet we live together as a society. Why? One last thing - I have a feeling that your topic makes sense. Also that this person close to you has a lot to do with her, even though you mention him so vaguely. My advice is, if you can afford it, do it. I'm glad I came across your topic :) And head up, hey.