They Think Of Me As An Easy Girl

The Story
I don't know how to start .. I don't even know if anyone can help me, I just want to pour out what I feel at the moment because just when I need my girlfriends, they are out and having fun with their boyfriends, I sit and I suffer. And to start ... I'm 19, I was a graduate until a month ago and at school, I've always been a "loser", congested or whatever you want to call it. Since the beginning of the new year, I had set myself the challenge to change - to start putting on make-up, because I hadn't used any make-up until then, to take care of myself, because I had totally neglected myself, to lose weight and look good. And so it happened. By the month of May, with great training and diet, I lost 10 kg, watched makeup lessons, bought a lot of cool clothes, for which I did not even give a lot of money, but they are unique and in general, I started to like myself.
 
Shortly before the ball (May 17) I caught my first boyfriend until then I had no boyfriend, I had not even kissed. The boy looked really serious and I decided not to waste any more time and even to take a more serious step (sex), I let him go on May 22, then on the 23rd we did it again and on the 24th there was a scandal, that I didn't want to try anything different (I'm talking about anal sex), I was bored, he didn't like me anymore and he just blocked me there. I called him, tried to contact his acquaintances, but even they told me he didn't want to hear me. In the end, I told myself that I would not poison my nerves with such people and I realized that he just took advantage of me and I was his next number, and I thought that the whole wait of 19 years was worth it and finally, I am found great love - but no. So far, everything is more or less okay, I experienced it quickly, we met quickly, we broke up quickly, it's normal not to suffer much for him. But last week, as I was walking around downtown and I saw a few guys who literally stopped me and started insulting me, that I was an easy girl (I don't want to use that word, it's about a bitch), that I was garbage, pass, rag, and whatnot, and I didn't even know them. At first, I thought they were drunk or intoxicated and didn't know what they were talking about, but a few days later I saw him with his new boyfriend (probably another one) and as he walked behind his back he just showed me his middle finger, apparently to don't see his boyfriend and don't ask who I am. But the thing that offended me the most was what happened today. I go to work (I work in a pastry shop, super tiny, but very nice, I like the job and I've been there for 2 weeks and I'm doing pretty well), and a boy comes in and orders two pieces of cake and coffee, everything is fine until I went to serve them to him (because the cashier takes the orders and tells the waitress to serve at the tables), I went and served them to him and the boy in question just threw the cakes and coffee at me and literally humiliated me in front of the whole restaurant with the words "From this spinous k *** and I don't want to eat anything "and left.
 
 
Then I had a terrible argument with the boss and he told me that in the next offense he would just have to release me. So what did I do? I just feel like the biggest geek, just because I fell in love and let go of a man I've been with for a week too quickly, gave myself the virginity I've kept for 19 years, and he eventually dumped me and ruined my whole life. I can't share this thing with my mother, although I know she will give me the right advice, she still thinks that I have not had contact with a boy, at least not sex, for kisses and such can be she thought, but not about the other. I do not know what to do. I get depressed and feel like I won't be able to get out of us in the end because I don't know what to expect. Well, tomorrow someone may come before us, I can't live in fear all the time.
Last Updated
July 10, 2020
Author:
vickyberry

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