Hello, I'm a girl of 18. About 3 months ago I started working in a fast food restaurant, where I met a boy from Bangladesh. We get along very well with him and I started to like him. It turned out that he was 12 years older than me. This stopped me a bit, but I still liked him, and he looks very young. We became friends and in the last month we became quite close and I started to notice that he was sad and dropped out. Yesterday I finally asked him what was wrong with him and he told me at length about his broken heart. I felt a little sick, but I think I value him more as a friend than as something more. He is in love with a woman - 15 years older than him. Then I realized I didn't stand a chance. She is 45, he is 30 and I am 18. The woman also liked him, but told him that it could not happen because of the age difference. Plus, she had children my age. And it would be weird for me if my mother came home with a 30-year-old who looks 22. I want him to be happy, but I don't know what I'm feeling. If being with her is the only way for him to be happy and smile, then I wish him with all my heart. But what should I do? I am in love with someone 12 years older than me, and he is in love with a woman who is 15 years older than him.
1 kenjeong answered
Let's stop with this simplicity, which you resort to every time you start not to become an ilid, but it seems bad to work with "appreciating as a friend". Can I? Let's face it, you're doing it for your own emotional comfort. "Oh, it probably won't happen ... well, I appreciate him as a friend anyway" You calm yourself down and lie and look small. Say to yourself, "I like him, and he doesn't seem to like me, it sucks, I want to or I don't want to win him." What do you calm down, it's ok. Not ok. You feel sick. This is allowed and normal. What if his heart was broken by some aunt. What do you think goes through his head if he is a little recovered, but it seems that enough time has passed and he may have some other reasonable thought in his head. He thinks, "Maybe I should find a girl who's more normal for me, who hasn't experienced everything yet." Ah! You see, a showing and seeking attention, a flirtatious chick, suddenly appears in front of him. Or you don't both sit alone and sad because you're afraid to make a move. You like it, but go ahead - act! Impress him! You want it - have it! Enough with the dull, boring passivity.