And who's to blame? Parents? Society? You!
You're going to have to find a man, have a baby, and you're not going to be one of those who's lost.
Success!
In general, your observations are correct, but it puzzled me a little bit with the fact that you write about people your age going to coffees and partying, and you write that your youth was going through your fingers. For me, the expression of something going through your fingers means not being able to take advantage of it, that is, I understand that in this case you complain that you do not take advantage of youth, but at the same time write how you go to parties and coffees, which is an accurate use of youth. Back in the day, 30 or 40 years ago, women your age had two children on average and didn't have as much time for parties and coffees. And now there's time, and you're still/we're dissatisfied. If there's no time for parties, why isn't there? If there's time for parties, why is there? :)
I have a theory that money never gets enough, but one always does it somehow. In other words, when I want to change something, I just change it and I'm relaxed that, however difficult it may be, I'll find a way to survive. I just won't have a choice. I moved out in my 20s, i lived with my boyfriend, we just decided. The first months our lives seemed like a struggle for survival, we did not know how to live alone, I personally did not even know how to choose cheese. So, a few months in a row, we learned to evaluate our purchases, distribute our duties and hone our household skills. I'm not saying I've never cleaned a bathroom before, but after living alone, I learned how to clean it really well. After these few months, I was able to cook dinner for 5 leva, because I knew how much of each product I needed and there were certain products that were always in my refrigerator. I learned with experience before I had this experience. A while ago, it happened that we were involved in a car accident and we had to give some money for repairs. Before that, we couldn't set aside money, then we had to, and we learned how to set aside money. Once the knife comes to a bone, you have no choice, you do it. One morning I woke up and realized that I had an adequate opinion in the choice of laundry powder, which made me feel grown up. You need one initial boost, just a moment of madness and courage, then you've already jumped into the deep and learned to swim in a way. People remain children for quite a long time, especially if many think of desolate responsibilities as a burden, and not as something momentary that only needs to be solved once. You may be 40 years old, but that doesn't mean you never feel stupid, unfamiliar, disoriented, scared, like a child. Parents are very sophisticated individuals because they do not show these fears to their children and enter into the image of mature, responsible and experienced people. Only a person who has had a sick child in his house knows how scary it is to make decisions and know that you have to be the one to deal with all the current problems. Life runs like this: you study, you find a job, you become self-sufficient, then you get a good job, then you wake up one morning and you're equipped with your own place and family. You're not a lost generation, you're just big thinkers, and your actions have escaped you. There is no right time for anything and always, but always, you will feel insecure and fear. And you'd be especially cowardly if you get too deep into the problems and impossibility. There are people who say to themselves, "What if I fell? ", and there are those who ask themselves, what would happen if they flew. Why can't you handle it? Why don't you try to find a stable job, find a place to do what's necessary so you don't have to be a 27-year-old puberty? Some have done it and they have been very convinced that it will be difficult and almost impossible. I guess it was possible.
You're right, it's not normal for parents to live at these years, but as you said, money plays an important role. It's never too late, though, for things to work out, it just needs a little more hustle and ambition. I'm 30 years old. and I live with my friend, but with me too a lot of things limp. I'm not working at the moment, but I've enrolled in a master's degree, which I like, and I have a little internship in the specialty. This is the time to point out that I don't like the bachelor's degree at all and I don't want to work on it. Otherwise, for our parties and cafes, we've been hanging around for too long, at least I am. And so it took four years of fun while I was studying higher, then two in search of work and more fun. After them, a little work in the specialty, which I do not like, and again a little work in another specialty, for which I now enrolled in a master's degree. The first time I was picked up for lack of footage, but I'd need a degree if I wanted to keep doing this. And so, as you say, I woke up at 30 with almost nothing and depression because of it. Still, I hope I'm going up. At least my friend has a permanent job and we do not deprive ourselves of anything, even recently we discussed getting married and having a child, he is not worried that I am not working at the moment. That's the way it is for me, it's not pink, and I've come to know the lost generation. I don't know what to advise you, except not to give up. I told you my story because I myself, after a lot of mistakes and dead ends, I'm trying to make a difference, and I've been able to do a lot of things, but there's still a lot to fix. I believe you can, too. You don't write if you're from a small or big city, if you have a higher degree, what do you do, do you have a boyfriend? Without this information, it is difficult to give more specific advice. At 27, it's not too late for anything, you can start a new job or move to another city, enroll a university or retrain. You can find roommates if you don't have enough money for a private residence. For love, you know it's never too late, so I wish you luck and remember, it's up to you.
And what prevented you from partying? Although you sound like a guy who hasn't been to a party, what a relationship the two things have - well, none.
Just move out of you at last and don't write any more.
If a person really wants something, he has to take action, take action. More precisely, THE INITIATIVE.
And having a baby is not at all a criterion for growing up, if the people who created it do not look at it themselves in their own home, or at least a place, but without the help of their parents, especially financially.
Look for a better-paid job, best in another city.
g30
It's important that after 10 years you're not in the same position again. I think things are speeding up after 32-33 - perhaps a realization that it's no longer a matter of time to put it off.
If you think your parents were "old" at 27, it's cruel with an elosche. It was just that in their day there were some people's banks that gave very low interest rates to young couples and they got a lot of housing.
I hope you don't be surprised if you find out that people are in a similar situation all over the world. Yes, you'il always see some yuppie in your class that demonstrates a rich lifestyle, but these are units. Most people are in homestays with friends or living with patneries, and here I am not talking about Balgaria, but about rich European countries.
You said you wanted advice, but what for what?
If you ask me how to make you feel better, then I'il tell you to find some hobby/passion and chase them furiously. Believe me, I was on a similar wave at one point.
I was watching a show yesterday, and the action was playing out in Canada. There is quite in the order of things the child to move out at 18, become independent and begin to live his life. Here I have the feeling that not only the generation, but the parents themselves are inciting the young to be dependent on them until late age. Or if they don't live with them they feel obligated to buy them apartments and cars to have for the young. I honestly like the model the better you get out. But guess what- it's one of our guys that I've met the most resistance to this. I already in my 20s felt like I didn't want to live with them, that I didn't even want to be a burden to them. My vision for life was: Until I was old, I lived with them, then I studied, in the meantime I got a job, moved out, lived on my own for a few years and set up and then start a family. Yes, but I didn't expect that one of my closest friends would face the most resistance to this happening. It started- she couldn't walk alone. It was almost normal for them for the woman in the family to go directly to live with a man. That even my father was matching me with someone who had an apartment. And no one understood that I wanted to live with myself a little bit, to clarify who I was and what I wanted. And a lot of my friends don't say everyone, that's how they became married women - from family to boyfriend and then husband. I wanted to have some personal freedom and space, but here the mentality is like that - you're an eternal child in their eyes who can't just get better, even if you can. I personally got away with it at the cost of a lot of reproach and not accepting my lifestyle, but that's a different topic. I'm shocked by everything I look at and listen to around me. For example, how does an elderly woman go abroad to make money to support her daughter, who was pregnant and her husband. So the daughter and the man can't support themselves and send the old woman to work to support them. Another had gone to see elderly people abroad again to pay for her daughter's wedding. To me, it's insane, and I don't see it as caring, it's about a bad psyche. As long as there are such parents, there will be generations of missing out. Because a parent first has to teach their child to be independent and to deal only, not a lifetime to feed him with a spoon. That's why there are so many wrong men who are a particular weakness of their mothers, and all their lives are mom's boy and someone doesn't lie to him. That's the mentality here, and you're a victim. I'm just over 30, but I know what it took me to fight this peasant, if you have the strength to try to become self-sufficient even at first you live miserable, otherwise you can get up in your 50s and be in the same situation. And even this generation is not so bad, because they used to live 3-4 generations in one house and it was considered normal. It's also why it's so hard to overcome this pattern and for children to be able to break away and live independently. It's hard, and I understand, but if you want to break away and live by your own understanding, you have to do more.
I don't have a boyfriend for now, but from now on, when I get a job as an engineer, I'il see who I like, we'il see! And your neighbors, or whatever they are, a lot depends on what education they have! They must be conductors in the local transport or the railroad! There the salaries are not great, but you are also at work, on a weekday and a holiday! That's where you have to have a high school education, take a training course and get you appointed! I already have a degree in shu! Radio communication equipment and technology I studied, it was not easy, now I am studying Signal Security Systems and Technologies, as a second higher! I was in no hurry to look for a job because I wanted to shoot the concerts on the "Scallop" stage from Varna! It's my hobby! Besides watching TV, I love making one! After removing the redundant footage, I will have a whole concert, albeit without inscriptions! What are you complaining about? Who makes you go to coffees and parties? Better to go to a free concert in your city, next year there will be again, these concerts are all over Bulgaria, not only in Varna! And you know, a guy to go to a place, you need a table of money, and it's not some 100-200 leva! Hazaina wants a minimum of BGN 1,000 for 1 year, not to mention the rent, which is also paid! The housing is furnished, the rent jumps to the heavens, and not to mention that the apartment must be guarded and upon leaving, it must be surrendered as it was before it was used! I say this not for another, but because I have read that whoever does not comply with the contract simply has to leave the accommodation immediately-dogs, cats, children -if, with the consent of the landlord, therefore these things are specified already during the inspection, and if he agrees to have animals and/or children in the dwelling, then they can, and if there is damage, then they will be removed by the tenants! But there are different people, so it is checked on the spot! It's bad when they don't have inherited homes from their grandparents, so that's why they're still with theirs! Don't reproach them! And they are not businessmen, that they do not know their money and separate themselves from theirs, one knows 2 and 200! It's bad to be dependent, but if they have at least a small business, they'il be able to separate themselves and live on their own!
It was generally a generation of life together , but it was easier to make a house . Now people get married later. I wouldn't live with me, everyone went their own way, and my sister and I were left to live alone after 20 years. , but after a certain age it is difficult with parents .Now I live with my husband and his parents, they are on another floor, but definitely on its own - well. I didn't know if you were a man or a woman, but when you find a mate, separate yourself.
I'm a 25-year-old man, and I share your opinion.
I personally feel like a 25-year-old kid. I graduated from work and income I can not complain (unlike 90% of Bulgarians, unfortunately), but my problem is that I am still a virgin and I have never had a girlfriend.
And how now at these years I think of a woman, children, a family, like since I was 15, I've watched people live their lives, and I never lived mine. Now I have to deal with relationships and nonsense, when they are no longer pleasure, but commitment. Somehow it repels me that even if a woman tells me she loves me, she's already told 10 people before me.
Besides, I get the impression that there are no more faithful and honest people. The question is not "Will he cheat?" but "When will he cheat?"
Everything looks like a huge joke.
I personally try to develop my career, and from there I only wonder what kind of beggars I'm going to get into.
Who knew if you gave people the chance to procrastinate, they'd procrastinate until it's too late.
The economic situation in the country does not allow us all to move out at 18 and have apartments. We can't even pay to get one.
And you author didn't say anything about a man... Do you have, don't you, don't you want to have kids? What are your goals? I found out from your article that something has slipped out of your life, but what is it?
The author: I can't have a child if I know I won't have the finances to raise him - what if the man and I split up? Both my parents and the community are to blame. Number two, I agree with everything written.
Because we broke up our chokes so you could have everything.
We pulled out of the way to make it for you.
We've re-satisfied you in every way.
We made sure that you live easily and comfortably, and not like us in moneylessness, hopelessness and total stress...
And what's the result? You have no dreams, no interests! You're all haho-hyhi, games and banter. No thought for anyone, not even myself, let alone children, etc.
Look at the theme from a few days ago: "How many children would you have had if you didn't have any financial problems?". Mass responses are "not a lot" or at most one... All this said by young women who live 10 times wider than their mothers and grandmothers. What the hell are you guys? Have four billion years of evolution gone to waste? Imagine all your ancestors starting with single-celled prokaryotes! All these billions of, in polar frosts and volcanic heat in the conditions of hellish malnutrition and poisonous gases, have succeeded to life and multiply, all the way to your parents and to yourself, and you? You have everything, and maybe not a royal palace and a Rolls-Royce, but all about a normal existence and development. And yet it's lazy for you, you don't want to spoil your rag, or you think you have the ultimatum choice whether you give birth or not! And the truth is, you have developed such disgusting characters, such selfishness that you can't look at anyone but yourself! You don't even want to live with laziness, scucutume and reluctance to make minimal effort in your life, including interhuman relationships.
Pity Bulgaria, pity for the world... it will be filled with gypsies, Arabs, African primates, Indians, Chinese and any others who are not "as big" as you, and do not think they are the crown of evolution, so after them and a flood...
We're lost, we're lost, but the old generation doesn't see much of it being found. Two-thirds are alcoholics. Most are not in Bulgaria at all, but they watch grandmothers and pick oranges in Spain and Greece. They have no basic knowledge about market economy, money, business, investment. We're materialists, muffins and batsmen, I admit it. 90% of the old generation cheat and scratch every second, if not divorced at all. In general, their lives revolve around making their wine and brandy and today to get to work and not to be too naering that they can earn up to the £200 pension. Once upon a time, communism got so used to them. The idea was to have a job, even though they beat the dog all day, but not be unemployed. The homes were provided to them by tosho. And let us not forget that our generation is largely the fruit of the front, even though we are also guilty.
15, you're very extreme. Even if there's an element of truth in your words, it's too extreme. To the point, yes, I have a friend.
I think you're looking for excuses to get yourself on your own.
Relax - in time you will look for someone to help you with the repair, with whom to tell a fairy tale, you will look for a way to conceive ... and there was a great demand emerging.
Success!
Number 15 is right, but to the fact with the kids, are you so limited that you talk about finances, and the risk of dying while giving birth? What about the pain? Where do you mix two different things?
Money is one thing, laziness, and giving birth is completely different!
And you and your sense, is it breeding? Yes, I'm a lith sheath, I work, I have a man, but I don't think about it yet, for kids and not because it's lazy, and when I decide, I prefer a c-section and if I'm going to wake up, but not the nightmare of giving birth! Well, you're great, how are you going to argue with people like you, that's how you were brought up.
Just because you don't have children doesn't mean you're lost. But living with your parents at that age is not normal.
I moved out at 19 and it was very difficult, but that's the point, isn't it? If Mom and Dad keep us safe until we're 40, we won't get any experience.
As for the fact that today we are more carefree, I do not see anything wrong. I'm over 30, too, and I feel like a teenager. Family and children are not for everyone, and by no means should they be your end.
My advice - go out to a place, separate yourself from your parents as quickly as possible, because you're probably already drinking why you're alone and when you're going to have grandchildren - it depresses a lot. Go abroad for a few months to see other cultures and perspectives.
I suppose most of the commenters will now pour out their complexes or discontent on you with comments like "Young are selfish, you do not take responsibility, you do not give birth to children, the Bulgarian nation will disappear." Don't pay attention to people like that. Everyone look in their own panic and not impose their values on others.
42 years old. I am, i look at teen and parents, financier and every, and now think, how to help the old and the young, I do not know about your generation, but we from the front, what to say?
I think you should do what you think you should and like.
I'm an interesting case, I'm getting divorced (not on my initiative and it's not my fault) and I'm going back to live with my mom, even though I'm staying with my ex-wife and having another home of my own that I rent out. It's just easier with mom, we can help each other, and financially I'il be better off.
M33 Come on, attack me!
A lot of young people come to my job. What I have noticed from young colleagues is absolutely no motivation, driving inertia, there to pass the time, I do not emphasize at all that they do not have the skills or knowledge, I think that a person if they want can learn everything, so it is more convenient for them not to start families, to sit in a warm place with the parents and so on. Young girls, instead of harnessing themselves to become specialists in some field, are waiting for a businessman en masse.
We're looking for a reason to go down from laziness, misunderstanding of the world and boredom. I didn't read anywhere what you were fighting for, though you said you wasted your time. Many people close to their 30s justify that work is not achieved and they have no will for anything big , much less for a home, a family and children. It's not the time and the people' fault, it's us. I blame myself. Let's get a little tight.
G27
Find me, man! childish was their brains! think about what you really want from life, get to work and do it. if you're lazy to move and you're better off flowing, it's your problem.
22, set, it's clear why you divorced. I guess Mom was nicer than the kid and the woman, huh?
23, yes, young people are really dismotivated, but that's largely because they saw their parents working from dark to dark and yet barely connecting the two ends. What kind of association with Labour will a child make in this situation and what kind of attitude will it have to do with labour? As a child, I also misunderstood why, for God's sake, both my parents worked 6-7 days a week for 16 hours, after still depriving ourselves of elementary things like clothes, shoes, heating and sometimes even food.
My childhood mind never made sense of it. However, I was fortunate to be motivated to study. But many of my sets never understood the meaning of labor to this day, especially those who had no brains to learn.
There's always some kind of intergenerational rift. But the young man in Bulgaria just doesn't get a chance on all lines. Low starting wages, high rents, and then why don't women give birth? Unless they have money or theirs can't support this child, then there are simply options missing. You underestimate young people and stop talking about the fact that in Bulgaria we were left with the fools. It's very offensive and it's not true. But we survive in harsh conditions. We may be haberd in many ways, but our system is crushing. At least the adults were given housing for three children and there were plenty of options for acquiring a home in time. Most of them won't even approve of us for a mortgage. Everywhere they've been struggling to work old and, more or less. And then you sue us?
I think we're all in a massive depression. Young, old - we're all crushed, demotivated, inert and somehow stopped. I've been watching him for the last few years. We've created some kind of pitiful zone of "comfort" and we're sinking into apathy.
For our generation, I'm 29, I'd say we raped our youth, looking for "quick happiness." Instead of studying quality, "we lived." Instead of collecting for trips, we rushed to get drunk and high, possibly every weekend. Instead of looking for love, we were looking to "live." Instead of building, we emigrated. And at one point we found ourselves with mediocre knowledge and skills, socially degraded and unfortunately earlier and with broken health.
It's down to the man. Moreover, Bulgarians are generally not industrious. Many years ago, we may have been, but now we're not. Both young and old don't want to work very hard. We're looking to pull over the number, a day to go, someone else to come. If we can steal something or screw someone up for 20 or 30 leva, we're kings. We justify low wages, which is generally true, but most don't even try to look for another job or develop into anything. It's not just the young who are dependent on their parents. I know a lot of people over 40 who parents still help and they're serious. Yes, they live separately, only this was bought again by mom and dad. The desire for work and development is not up to age. It doesn't work until 25 not to get out of the discos and then suddenly develop. A man, when he has a desire, finds time for everything. The other very important thing is that en masse people and now and before the geweezing immensely their children, but at the same time do not devote almost any time to their upbringing. Finally, it comes to the situation that the toddler, 20, was getting everything ready and in stantly. He doesn't want to learn or work because he just didn't have to do it, and we're starting to wonder what we're going to do. Well, it's perfectly normal, and it's not the kid's fault.
I think that's perfectly normal.
Each generation is getting different. And we compare our way of life to that of our elders.
And people have accepted what is right and what is not, but in fact everything is quite relative.
There will always be a boundary between different ages.
Here, for example, the theme for children. Increasingly, I hear rebukes from women, including me, who are not "ready" for this step in life.
There was no time, we were lazy, we could have raised a child with a little money, if there was a desire, which may be the case, but the fact is that the age for the first child has risen.
But obviously everything is tied up, and every single thing has a change on ourselves and our thinking - lifestyle, stress, social networks, pornography, money, lawlessness, the very society in which we live and a lot more.
Maybe we're thinking too much every step of the way.
But the other extreme... I can think of a few acquaintances who hastily did weddings, gave birth, and soon after, they parted ways with their mates. And now they're with others. And these others don't care that they date a woman who has a child. That's what older people can't figure out again.
Or what's wrong with someone "living," not thinking about family and being over 25.
Why should we define ourselves as the "lost generation"? And isn't that definition a little far-fetched? Why do we have to compare, even blame each other, shame on ourselves for not being what we are.
To feel complex about how old we are, that we don't have any more children, or that we live with our parents.
And I went back to them for a year because I broke up with my boyfriend. It's not something I'm proud of, but I'm not ashamed of being 27 and living with my mother and dad. I'm at that stage in my life right now.
Everyone wanders around looking for happiness - that's the truth. And there's always been "lost."
And let's not forget that every generation is a product of the previous one.
G, 27
I'm 22.
You should not always put things under a common denominator. My mother couldn't have been nicer to me because we'd seen each other once a month, she's often on business trips and we've been to a different neighborhood far away.
I divorced because the mate with no apparent or said reason changed - he got into everyone, started some inadequate actions, a lack of affection, became a lazy, weak mother (sleep, play games, walk on beauticians, and I look at the child) etc.
You're not lost because your parents didn't teach you how to handle life on your own. Dondurs are 30, they're pleasing you, and that's why you've become haberd little. If you were 18, you wouldn't be crying here.
24 - Personally, I am fighting for a family. I've had a friend for five years. For financial reasons, we didn't move out to a place. We're engaged. I've been putting too much effort into learning. I end up with a salary of about 500. Someone above had written that I don't look like a person "at the party." That's right. I grew up with one parent, the other died. I've had a conscience going to discos like a teen and spending money that we're going to eat at home tomorrow. I used to go to coffee sometimes. I don't know why I feel like I'm not happy that I wasted a chance on a good salary and a future. I live in Sofia. When I hear some people give for a place, I wonder where they're taking that kind of money? We live with my friend a month, let alone afford something more. I was looking for a job eight months after my graduation, eventually forced into relationships to work for miserable money. Everywhere they want people with experience, something I'm wrong with all people. I want a child, and do I want to watch it in my room and what kind of money? I'm going into total depression.
'As a kid, I also misunderstood why, for God's sake, both my parents worked 6-7 days a week for 16 hours, after still depriving ourselves of elementary things like clothes, shoes, heating and sometimes even food.
Either your parents worked for charitable causes or they threw the money elsewhere.
I blame mainly the policy of the state, in which the prices of services, properties and food do not exceed many times the revenues. There is the disparity, and from there comes the inability of the young especially in the larger cities to take their lives into their own hands without relying on help from parents.
There's no excuse for the family. In BG for a long time it is part of the mentality to live 2 and more generations under one roof in order to save from bills or help in one form or another. Make a profile somewhere to at least draw ideas for clothing, travel or other motivation
Most importantly, find the purpose of your life. I think that's your problem. You create a dream, a purpose and a meaning in your existence
Thanks for the meaningful comments. I guess things have changed in spodeli. I expected rebukes and very sharp criticism, and I got an understanding and insight into my problem. I will heed the advice, I read very carefully every single comment.
I liked the comment at number 30. I urge you to read it again.
30, you either want a family or you don't want to. You can't want to be 25, you can't want to be 30. Not being ready is another thing. Living is the same job. let no one make any illusions that he will be a numberian, an alcoholic, a drug addict, and suddenly at 30 a loving partner will wake up, with a wonderful career and an ideal family. Something like this, even in movies, is hard to do. The truth is that at every stage of their life, one has to make certain efforts to be successful. In my observations, you can afford the luxury of being lazier at the very least until you finish secondary school. And only if you have wealthier parents who can then give you a better education, which you still have to work for. Conversely, the serious ones are serious, both 16, 26 and 36. This isn't about sitting all day above the books without sticking your nose out. The idea is to organize your time so that you can both study or work and relax. I have an acquaintance for whom "living" has always been the number one goal. By 30, he kept going around all sorts of pubs, discos, coffees, etc. She didn't have a boyfriend and never had one, but not because no one liked her, but because she wanted to. She'd go home with her to stick to the discos without ever picking. That was "real life" for her. Kids didn't want to either. It wasn't the "now" moment, as it was expressed. So, you drove her like that until 30. Then he apparently decided that he should at least have a family in front of people. She married a man who seems pretty nice, even though I don't know him personally. It's all artificial. He's 37 now and still has no children. Looks like he just doesn't want to have one. To housework also does not touch. Professionally, she didn't achieve anything either, although her parents are not random people and have quite solid relationships. They had arranged for her to have a pretty good position in the civil service with even better prospects for development, but she did not take advantage of this. Basically, she doesn't care about anything other than "life."
So that's not how it works. You don't just wake up one day and you're a new person.
I'm going to say a hell of a cliché, but I believe it. Our time is going the other way. Our average life expectancy is greater than 50 years ago. It makes us lean back and say "there's time." And we really have more time. Moreover, the current 60-year-olds have also lived two or three generations together and there is no one to teach new generations autonomy. We learn on our own, on the fly, as we can. I moved out at 23, straight overseas. In my native Sofia, I did not have a chance to achieve it financially! That was 2001. It wasn't until 26-27 that I didn't need my parents to help me anymore, and I took on my own financially. I had the same thoughts as you. That our fathers have already endured our years. And it is, and it's not. They didn't live in rent, they didn't have credit at those years. They shared a little apartment with their parents, as did the bills. Free childminders-pensioners were available. So 30 is the new 25 in my opinion.
I'm number 35. I accidentally wrote NO exceeds and apparently for this I got 1 asterisk
I am corrected to exceed repeatedly
38, why do I think that if this acquaintance of yours had given birth and been doing housework, then you would automatically look at her as a person who is OK...
(another is a reason why you've been so interested in it for so many years.. )
In connection with the wonderful comment of number9 and along with the fact that I saw that someone above has already given a reference to another topic, I also want to give one. The theme is, in my opinion, Golden:
Young people who rely on financial help from their parents to look after their child
Number 41, I'm not looking at her at all, I'm just sharing what I saw. Certainly, though, if she had given birth, IF she was doing housework and if there were a few more IFs, most likely everyone who knew her would have looked differently at her, not for something else, but because we would have been talking about a completely different person. Otherwise, I've known her for 10 years and we're moving down and down in an environment, I can't help but know what's going on with her generally. However, it is only one telling example. A person either wants to work or doesn't want to work, or he wants a family, or he doesn't want to. Basically, she may have a baby, but this child will be raised 100% by the father, grandmothers or some nanny. She's guaranteed not to bother, nor will she touch housework.
From 38
Well, look, everyone decides what to do with their life. If it's more important for you after work to go around cafes with girlfriends instead of working on yourself, for example, taking courses to get a better job- it's your problem. Being completely independent in Bulgaria before you turn 30 is very, very difficult, but not impossible, as long as you have worked hard to do so. And you write that you have a friend with a man and a baby, actually, that having a baby doesn't mean she's single. There are a bunch of examples of young people with children still waiting for help, and outright support from their parents. So being a parent doesn't mean you're self-sufficient and successful either. But again, it's up to you and your ambition. As long as you're working as hard as you can to say you have a job, and in the evenings and on weekends you're just going up and down, there's no way you can afford to move out of you and not depend on your parents. I know bad sounds, but in Bulgaria there is something called working-poor and unfortunately most young people are in this category. You work, and money doesn't have enough money to be on your own. Stupid, very stupid, but that's it! And to get out of this position, you have two options. You start working on yourself, you develop, you end up finding a good job on a high salary and you move out or you find a boyfriend who has achieved all this and is ready to support you. Well, the second is still a kind of addiction, because if you used to depend on your parents, now you're going to depend on it, and if you split up again you go back to the starting position, that is. you're still about help from your parents. However, this is the situation, and as you have written it for an entire generation, which is very unfortunate because soon when our parents retire we will be expected to make the decisions, and we simply will not be prepared for it.
Number 23,
Young people don't want to hear about work, not because they're bad or lazy, but because they saw their parents for years, complex and unworkable employers, op - slave owners destroying them. It's very clear they don't want to work. There are still salaries of 500-600BGN in this country, while bosses drive cars for 1 million. In this situation, it's imperative that you don't work, but to sabotage your company.
Making children isn't just about finances, though even with an average salary and a mother for one parent - how is it looked at? If a place can, then a child and a place, I don't know how he can. Here it does not depend at all on education, since in many places the specialist is not paid enough. Even less in government work. It's not about working from morning to night and not seeing your family either.
Speaking of higher knowledge and knowledge - what I saw in our companies and employers is a complete mess. How are you going to work and how do you ever want to do business in a reality like this? Not to mention that many businessmen do not feel safe. So what will personally stop me from leaving a generation - security, society, education system, etc. It's a personal choice.
-and, depends on the point of view. If you really want to have kids, you'il find a way to provide them somehow. You don't have to ride them in a 2,000-square-something cart. Bgn. Not to mention you can go outside now. You're working hard, things are working out. I grew up in the darkest of times in the 1990s, and almost all the time only a dad worked, who didn't take a high salary. It wasn't easy, but we did it and we were always happy. They also managed to teach me, and now I have a wonderful job. Well, yes, I didn't sit on the discos and i didn't go by car to university, but I don't regret anything.
46, almost everyone at and around your age grew up the same as you, but we weren't all happy, most of us weren't happy. I even suspect that you weren't happy yourself either, because otherwise you wouldn't have noticed at all, that some of them were driving their children in trolleys of 2,000 leva, you wouldn't even think of thinking about such a thing, it wouldn't make the impression that there were people who were soaking in the discos, nor would you have thought of pointing out that you didn't go by car to university, because you just wouldn't have thought about some going and going in a car, and you didn't. The truth is, a happy person doesn't think about these things - you don't think about who's got what, sori.
And some people just don't want kids in general. And they write - 'I don't have a child because money this and that' because otherwise they say 'I don't have a child just because I don't want to' and immediately finds it on some pseudomoralist to be sneered, which is quite annoying even slightly loady because it's typical behavior/reaction. So people who don't have a child (in most cases) say some reasons that wouldn't stop them otherwise if they actually wanted it.
And I was was tired of writing this comment because I'm sick of people saying how when they were little they didn't have this, they didn't go there, they didn't drive cars, etc. like some little annoying 'goodie' kids who are just waiting for an uncle or aunt to tell them: 'bravoo, good for the boy/girl, how obedient' it is, etc. sucklings. I didn't have money for discos or car during college, not even on breaks, i didn't have it as a child, but I didn't go to put it into context (it's now I put it in, but you challenge me, and I hope people like you read my comment and think about not doing it anymore because it's annoying) to get, for example, some praise or at least an excellent vote from some ageing 'authority' or other dod arises. Sample. It's stupid and stupid.
47, what personally annoys you very little interests me. Everyone has an opinion and it's nice to express it, not to disguise themselves, as some do in the case of children. There are also people who really have no money and temporarily postpone the birth of children, but are active, they are okay and in time they have children. At the same time, there are those who just don't want to, but don't admit it. First they wait to buy an apartment, then it is not big enough and start looking for a house. When it is ready it turns out to be on the outskirts and not comfortable. The car is also "small" etc. In this regard, not many years ago, I regularly saw every morning a woman with 3 young children taking them to a garden by public transport. She wasn't comfortable, believe me. I never saw her in a hunched, nervous way or anything like that. On the contrary, she was always serene and smiling. So, it's all about desire, as I said in my front post.
As for who, how he grew up, i don't think you know. Everyone's different. For example, at the time I had friends who ate only beans and lentils, while at the same time there were also many to whom families had cars, went regularly on vacations, wore only branded clothes and deprived themselves of absolutely nothing. I'm not going to comment on your "extraordinary" ability to judge the feelings of strangers, but I'm going to try to explain it to you more simply. Yes, and I wanted to have most of the things that other children of wealthy parents had, but not to the extent that it was some kind of obsession, to get depressed and to slam on the ground. On the contrary, I was very happy and had a wonderful childhood. I don't have a yacht now, and I don't have a private plane, but it didn't sink in. I even drive an old 17-year-old car, although I can safely afford an expensive, brand new one from the store. I just don't notice, and I'il only change it when it starts to bother me. I write all this not to understand others what I had or did not have ( people's opinion generally very little interests me ), but to make it clear that it is all a matter of desire.
Out of 46
Well, not a few people didn't get depressed and didn't slam for not having our parents, and at the same time some parents had, but we didn't go to explain it left to right. Instead, we've been looking at ourselves, and then and now.
Yes, there are those who don't admit they don't want children, and I explained why. And what do you care so who admits and who doesn't admit who buys an apartment, decides it's tight, and gets a house? Isn't he right to do it, he has an opportunity and he does what's wrong with you, you're happy?
Otherwise, I personally admit it all, even with fun :)
I'm not excited about those who don't have enough of the big apartment, nor for those who drive their three children on public transport, it's all about choosing a choice that's their job - neither mine, not yours, or anyone else's.
1 mattattack03 answered