People, help. Give me advice, I don't know what to do. I had a relationship for 10 years with a boy, we live abroad. In the beginning everything was fine, he lived independently in a small village, 50 km away from me. We were madly in love, we got along great. He worked, I studied. During the summer I stayed with him for a whole week, we had no problems. Until his mother realizes she has a relationship with me. She forbade him to see me and he, with all his mind (he was 20 then), dumped me. I cried, I suffered ... he called me a month later to apologize. Good, we drove the hand again. Secretly from his mother. She then understood again, raised a scandal against him (I repeat that he lived independently) and later he dumped me again. I was in pain, I suffered a lot ... after a month and a half he called me again, if we had seen each other. He shouts that he loves me, but he couldn't be with me because of his mother, she did not allow him. I got angry, shouted at him not to look for me anymore and left. He ran after me, cried and told me that he loved me, he did not want to lose me. He agreed not to pay attention to his mother. And so we were 4 years together, peace and understanding. His mother visited him from time to time, but I did not come across her. Then the company in which he worked went bankrupt and he had to come to town and live with his mother until he found another job. At first I was happy, because I thought that we would no longer be 50 km apart, but only 1. How naive I was! The problems started immediately. His mother began to set him against me, and his sister invited her. At first, they were only hints, supposedly well-meaning. Why I dress like that didn't suit me. Why did I cook something the way it was, that wasn't right. And I, stupid and naive, listen to them and try to please them.
We had to marry him in order for him to arrange his documents and the residence and work permit, which had been illegal until then. I have given a minimum of 300-400 euros for lawyers and notaries to prepare and legalize the necessary documents. And while the legalization procedure was going on, his family was extremely kind to me. After he received his document, a real hell began. It was still 2012. Despite the marriage, we did not live together. The mother-in-law began to interfere in absolutely everything. He deliberately missed our meetings. We only saw each other on the weekends, because we were both very busy the rest of the day. His mother was deliberately looking for a job for him so that we could not see each other. He had to paint the table in the kitchen, fix the sink, escort it to the market ... a bunch of things he told him at the last minute. Or she specifically invited her friends to their house and made him attend their meetings. We could never do what we set out to do. If by any chance she hadn't looked for a job, we went out. But it was awful because we didn't have any time for ourselves. He had to come back in an hour because he had to cook, it was his cooking day.
When we returned, he was greeted sullenly. His sister started talking about being a breadwinner, a lazy person, hanging out on the streets instead of helping at home ... If we happened to find a moment of peace in his room, his sister would come there to annoy us. She interfered in our conversations without anyone asking her. He criticized me for wanting and not doing. His mother also interfered in our intimate life! He allowed himself to criticize us for not having enough sex !!! His sister constantly hinted that my work was frivolous (I was a piano teacher), that I was lazy and that I didn't do anything. When we cooked something for us with him, his mother or sister would appear shouting at us that we were cooking badly, that we didn't know anything, that it was tasteless ... They were both constantly blackmailing him and making hysterical scenes for him. They treat him like a servant. His sister drags him to the shops with her on a regular basis. His mother used to play melodramas with tears if he went for a walk with me. That he didn't love her, that he could leave her alone, that she was old (the witch in question was 45 years old).
I learned from friends that these two witches had told lies and filth to me at various gatherings: that I had been a slut, that I had insulted him and kept him under a slipper, that I had not allowed him to go out with friends, that I dressed like a prostitute ... and a bunch of other bastards. I had talked to him many times about it. I told him I didn't want to have any relationship with his family because they hated me. And he always seemed to agree, but then he drove her the old way again. He never once protected me as he should. He was just muttering. And he was trying to make me be friends with his mother. We broke up with them a few times, but he kept coming back with an apology. I got tired and gave him an ultimatum: if he wants to see me, he will be in our house or on the street, but I will not go to his house. He took offense and told me that family came first. And he dumped me. I fell into severe depression, on top of that I had a serious health problem, I almost committed suicide. He had blocked me from everywhere: Facebook, SMS, phone ... I was on antidepressants for almost a year. I almost spent my school year at the conservatory because of him. We were separated for 3 months, I had already written it off and I had resigned myself. But he reappeared! He couldn't do without me, etc. His mother suspected something and sent him to Sweden on purpose to keep him away from me. But he did not find a job there and after half a year he returned and wanted us to resume relations. I was skeptical, but I agreed. We saw each other rarely and secretly from his. After a year and a half of such a state, we decided to separate. Not so much because of his monstrous relatives, but because of serious differences in the way of thinking and plans for the future.
We stayed as friends. It's been 9 months since then. I got on with my life, met other people, found a boy we liked ... My ex and I text each other from time to time to ask ourselves how things are going. And we met by chance, we are neighbours. So today we had agreed to go out to eat something like friends. It turns out that he wants to re-establish the relationship. I was the wife of his life, he didn't want another, he loved me, he would no longer allow anyone to interfere in our relationship, he would rent an apartment for both of us ... The problem is that I don't love him before. he is not indifferent to me, I do not want him to suffer, I want him to be happy ... And I am not sure that it is a good idea to come back with him. I'm sure the evil witches will start harassing me again. They just hate me. I do not want them to be part of my family and to have a kinship with my children. I can't stand them. I was afraid that if they dared to tell me something one more time, I would lose my temper and slap them. I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I am not indifferent to the former and he is not a bad person. He is hardworking, he is honest ... only he is a mother's son. On the other side is the boy I met and we have had a non-committal relationship for three months (I told my ex about it, I don't want to lie to him). Oh, on the third side, there are these two monsters that I'm afraid won't smell until they make me tired. What should I do ?? !!
1 katerinashpitsa answered
you have to delete this person from your life as soon as possible!