The Dilemma

   G67 You are not on the last train. Your current one has no good attitude towards you and your desires. If you are financially independent and do not have a property commitment, look for a partner who respects you, you, your desires, your loved ones. If you want a child, do not deprive yourself of motherhood, men think that they are immortal and can have children 50-60. Not true. Don't be fooled that his attitude will improve. Make it clear that he loves you. In fact, not in words. Experiment with something that irritates him and see the reaction. There is no point in building a relationship in which you only give. Love is everyday, tolerance, respect and sharing of common goals, ideals, hopes. Good luck

   Love is up to time. Then it becomes tolerance and retention of both partners to the children, but because your husband does not want to have children and does not try to do something about it, there is nothing to keep you, because everything is up to time except love for children. I would recommend you to have a generation, to become a mother as soon as you have the opportunity and alternative for it. Listen to what your soul wants.

   Well, you have to decide, maybe a thrill will come in the new one, do you want your husband? With the children, the man goes to the second level, decide what you want. Maybe your husband is in trouble. If you are at this age you need a solution for the child.

   Talk to your husband seriously and tell him that you will either work together on the issue or separate. In half of the couples with reproductive problems, the problem is in the man. Mine did a spermogram without a problem, it's not a pain to die. Maybe it's good to look for someone new to love, because without love you can't live happily. Don't waste your time with hopeless relationships.

   If you really want a child and you don't see yourself without a child, you better look for someone else. For now, you need to answer the question of whether you want to be with the person you are currently without a child. Otherwise you will have to look for a new person, not necessarily the other one you have no feelings for.

   What is this worldview of yours. You set barriers yourself. Tell your husband that he can finish the house in a sterile bottle and take it for examination in compliance with certain requirements. I'm sorry, but you're thinking too little. Open your eyes. We live in the 21st century. Only Teddy, are there two men in the world? Whatever you do, believe me, at the age of 35, the chance of pregnancy decreases dramatically, because they will write about how many people give birth over 40, I will say that it is not mass at all. In vitro clinics are full of young people, women under the age of 30. And now with an exhausted ovarian reserve. If everything is really fine with you and he refuses a spermogram, clearly decide what you want. It is abnormal to shift the blame for who is the reason, with so many opportunities for research and clarity. Also, considering that you are already 35, it is good to visit a specialized clinic, the ordinary gynecologist is good for prophylactic examination, but not for reproductive problems. It is also good to consult an endocrinologist. A child is made by two, I think your husband is quite conservative, he is ashamed and has outdated understandings.

   Girl, what future does yours promise you? He didn't like your parents, so he doesn't respect them. He doesn't want spermograms, he doesn't want a child. You don't have sex. Does he promise you anything? I don't see why you should stay in this torture? How long will you wait before you leave, 5 years? To understand that the child was more important to you, how long will you wait? Long enough because it will be too late. I have worked in an in vitro center as a registrar and believe me, there are many cases in which such couples are supported thanks to the woman up to about 43-45 years and then the women start doing procedures with donors and the men find themselves younger. Does it make sense. This is a simple spermogram, if he can't live with his fear of doing it, it's not a man. I told him about the option of taking the material to a laboratory without requiring his presence

   Drop this fool, I don't understand what you're doing to him at all, and you even want to have a child with him. Not by chance it does not work! Give a chance to the other who knows what he wants!

   Until №4 - I told him several times that if he continues like this I will leave and he calmly tells me that the door is always open. By №6 - yes, the last time I told him that he could finish at home and I could take the bottle, but he still doesn't agree and I know that it's not just these two, but because my husband and I are very together for a long time, I do not know if I will find another, and I admit I'm afraid.

   Thanks to everyone for the tips!

   In time, you'll probably hate him for being childless, maybe having some problems, and not wanting to do it.

   I understand that he is a unique person with attitude and soul, that he has tried everything possible such as research, diets, supplements and to make such a sacrifice, but for such a temerut ... And the other is not a good idea. A child must be the fruit of love. In my opinion, it is time for a new beginning, nothing is achieved with fear. You have time, but not to waste with the wrong person.

   Author, It is clear how much you "loved" this man, nothing. Well, he's right that he showed you the door - you obviously showed him how much you "loved" him, that you agreed to sleep with another man just to get pregnant. This is your choice, beat your whip and go to another man (then not to say that he is also a problem, but in fact you are the reason he does not have a child by you). Just because your current boyfriend / husband has NOT wanted and does NOT want to have a spermogram does NOT mean that he is not a man or is less of a man and does not want to have children. He is not a coward. On the contrary, your friend suffers NO less than you from the fact that he cannot have a child / children because of you. It's just that your friend is restrained in his feelings, he doesn't show his suffering, but internally he suffers that he can't have children because of you. And about the spermogram, it is humiliating and not a cause for pride for a man. And a spermogram would hardly help. The reason a heterosexual couple does not have a child is mainly in the woman and not in the man. There are women who hide from their current halves some things from their past - if these women have had sex with different men, if they have had an abortion behind their backs (then today's women are very proud of it, unfortunately :(.) Even science proves that abortion, the use of contraceptives and abortion pills after sexual intercourse have a negative effect on the future couple.

   To number 14: From the Author: First, I haven't slept with anyone else, do you see it written somewhere that I agreed to sleep with someone else ??? Why do you start blaming for no reason? Secondly, it has been proven that men have a higher percentage of problems with pregnancy and how humiliating a spermogram will be, if a man really wants a child, he would do everything, especially since he can give sperm from home, I don't even make him go to offices. And thirdly, I did not hide anything from my husband, even because of him I drank these as you say abortion pills and 2 times.

   Hey, 14, where did you get lost? How I missed your "abortion pills"! Forget to advise the woman, to wait, to beat her forehead in the ground, to graze wheat, to go to monasteries! Forget to warn her never to resort to in vitro and "surrogacy"! :-D))) To the author - don't listen to this one, the woman is wrong. And don't be impressed by the negative comments, your life is yours. Listen to your heart - if you want a child, then you must have a child!

   Up to 16 I'm alive, MA, duck! You definitely don't miss the pills, you seem to have overdosed on the pills or the drug. To the author I quote: "I have told him several times that if he continues like this I will leave" You yourself wrote that you want to leave your friend (for the reasons described by you) and have a child by someone else. This is your job. And you agree with the opinions of various ducks who spit on your friend (obviously you don't mind some strangers spitting and insulting him).

   To the author "I haven't slept with anyone else, do you see it written somewhere that I agreed to sleep with someone else ???" I'm sorry, this is my mistake. But there is no denying that (according to what you shared) you can leave him / leave him and go to the other man to whom you have "minimal sympathy, but with a desire for a child."

   Your husband has learned that there is a problem with his material, be it inherited or if he has been tested for a disease. So to refuse a spermogram, the work is not readable. Now a cat doesn't fall on its back and wants to blame you. He will start to suggest to you that you are a second-class person, that you are not a woman, if you don't have children until 36, that if someone else leaves you, he won't look at you ... all terrible things until you collapse mentally. I tell you from experience. Then he will find another, if he is no longer, to prove to himself how much of a man he is. Listen to me, get away from him.

   Up to 20 How did you know that the author's friend "has a problem with his material, be it inherited, or if he has been tested for a disease", given that he does NOT want to and probably has NOT done a spermogram? "So to refuse a spermogram, the work is not readable." - This is complete nonsense. There are quite a few men who refuse a spermogram because it is humiliating for the men themselves. It is most humiliating when a female gynecologist asks the woman being treated, her friend; / man to make a spermogram (such is the case with the author). The fact that there are men who refuse to have a spermogram (and they are still human and have the right to their opinion and choice) does NOT mean that they have the cause and that they are not healthy. It is not convincing that if the author's friend (and not only him, because he has quite a few men, who do not want a spermogram) refuses to make a spermogram, therefore he is guilty that the author can not have a child. Because the author herself shares that she has undergone all kinds of research. Despite research, she has not recovered, and she says she has an increase in a hormone (I guess the hormone testosterone. Women with high testosterone have polycystic ovary syndrome). And the author should not forget that stress, some foods (another is the question of food quality), dirty air (some say that Chernobyl is also the cause) - also prevent pregnancy. "He will start to suggest to you that you are a second-class person, that you are not a woman, if you don't have children until 36, that if someone leaves you he won't look at you ... all terrible things until you collapse mentally. I'm telling you from experience Then he'll find another one, if he doesn't already, to prove to himself how much of a man he is. "What an exaggerated drama. Although not all men act like yours. Reading the author's opinion, she rather wants / thinks / intends to leave him than he does her." Listen to me, get away from him. "If the author has decided this and listened to you, there is no longer a dilemma. The dilemma is solved.

   Until №21 Yes, I had a problem with one hormone, but after the right pills, everything is normal for me, and I do all the tests to prove that there is no reason in me. When you really want a child, you do your best. In this case, my friend did nothing. I'm not saying he has a problem, just check all the possible reasons why it doesn't work. Sometimes the problem is minimal and with the right treatment everything is fine. But he says that even if there is a problem and it is necessary in vitro, we will not do it. I just come to the conclusion that he does not want a child, as I said, and sex is very rare. Lately, only fishing is in his head, maybe he doesn't want to take on big responsibilities ...

   To the author - 22 I am writing my last opinion (comment number 21). "But he says that even if there is a problem and it is necessary in vitro, we will not do it." I can not understand what you mean by this sentence. That you want to get pregnant in vitro, and your friend is against in vitro (for which he is right. I am also against in vitro and artificial methods) and will not do a spermogram in this case; Or he, like you, wants an in vitro test, but he will not undergo a spermogram (which somehow contradicts himself - he wants an in vitro test and he does not want a spermogram). It's very confusing, author. I don't know what else to advise you. You have your head on your shoulders. My humble opinion is that a couple for two has a child / children should wait a while. I also think (I'm not the only person who thinks so), that children must be the fruit of SEXUAL sexual, warm love and sex between man and woman, and not be artificially created in cold, cold laboratory conditions. In vitro is NOT natural. In vitro fertilization cannot be a better choice and way than the natural way to conceive a child / children. There is nothing better or better than a woman getting pregnant naturally (through sex) and giving birth naturally. I will advise you and wish you to have children from the man you want / love / feel. There is nothing better or better than a woman getting pregnant naturally (through sex) and giving birth naturally. I will advise you and wish you to have children from the man you want / love / feel. There is nothing better and better than a woman getting pregnant naturally (through sex) and giving birth naturally. I will advise you and wish you to have children from the man you want / love / feel.

   My advice is to lose both of them and find someone to be happy with and have the same dreams and goals. And it's not too late, my colleague gave birth at 47 (I'm 20)