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self confidence
But is it possible to refrain from hiding negatives? A small but constantly growing group of studies begins to shed light on the dark side of self-control and all the consequences it has for our lives. Here are a few of them:
Self-control can limit the emotions you experience
One of the reasons people with high self-control to cope better with the neglect of temptation is that they simply do not experience the same seduction of them as the others. However, this can also mean their emotional reactions to them are weaker. In other words, high self-control can prevent people from enjoying positive events in their lives, such as getting a promotion at work or learning the news that a friend will become a father.
Self-control can lead to long-term regret for missed opportunities
When people reflect on bygone years, they often regret for cases where they exercised too much self-control, such as giving priority to work over fun and ignoring a number of pleasures of life. This feeling of regret, however, occurs at a later stage of life. Take for example a CEO of a successful company that has made many sacrifices in his life to pave his way to the top. One day he could awaken with the feeling that he had spent his best years in pursuing a goal that today did not bring him the satisfaction he had anticipated.
Self-control may result in an increase in workload in the work
We usually consider people who show self-control to be more responsible and reliable, which in turn makes them the perfect "candidates" for our needs. It is they who are the first people we turn to when we need some help. Thus, an employee who is very good at exercising self-control can be entrusted by his colleagues with an abundance of tasks and commitments, as they are sure that he will not refuse them and that will fulfill them conscientious, even if it costs him dearly.
It's not for everyone...
In some people, exercising self-control creates a sense of expropriation — as if they were forcing them to suppress their true selves. This applies in full force to those who rely more on their intuition and feelings than on logic and reason when making decisions. For these people, self-control is something alien and unnatural. For example, an employee who relies more on his feelings will most likely not be particularly proud of himself if he manages to cope with a task, exercising self-control. Even if it gives him a raise, this person will constantly wonder if he was worth ignoring his instincts and sacrificing the time he spends with friends and relatives to rise up professionally.
... and leads to prejudices and bias
Legislative authorities often look at complex social problems (smoking, alcohol, and drug use, crime) as a matter of self-control. The truth is that putting excessive emphasis on the lack of self-control conceals the social, economic, and political sources of these problems. For example, the obesity epidemic in the US is seen only through the prism of self-control. However, we know that this problem is rooted in various factors, including lower prices of processed food, soft drinks, larger portions, and the ever-stagnant way of life we lead.
This unilateral approach to the problem is called by some people "puritanical prejudice", as it analogous to the ideology that puts the guilt ate on the individual and ignores the impact of the broad societal factors. Thus, serious social problems are presented in the form of questions of self-control.
After all, no one can deny that self-control is an effective instrument to achieve the goals we set ourselves. However, this does not mean that we should look at it as the only factor that determines our happiness and success. In addition to exercising self-control, we must learn and accept our weaknesses and limitations. Psychologists call this "self-pity." Samosčuvstvieto does not lead to laziness and apathy. The truth is that it helps people to get to know themselves better and to learn to set themselves more realistic goals. Therefore, instead of always being strict with ourselves and constantly trying to exceed our borders, it is sometimes good to be more mindful of ourselves and to see things in a more sober way.