An interesting topic. And the most interesting thing is that it is and I think a part of the same things. I would even use the same words to describe these essentially complex processes and concepts that few think about at such a level. As the author, I hardly communicate anymore. It's just that with the years of experience I've gained, I can easily see beyond the masks and roles that are presented to me. Which is normal, we all wear our masks. What annoys me is how to call it "bad acting." Banal, learned types of behavior, polished by the propagandistic norms of what is "cool" and "modern". And the funniest thing is that people who claim originality, intellect, style, do not realize at all that what they are and what they are trying to present to the rest of the world is imposed on them, by means of psychological methods which may not be known to the average man, but there is a stratum of quite clever people who receive some serious money to think of all sorts of tricks that would influence social trends. And in such a way that in the end the individual thinks that he is "free", that his desires, fears, are his own. This, of course, is global. On a personal level, what the author observes is obtained. Now, of course, there will always be people who think differently from the conventional world. There will always be outsiders. Not enough "positive", "open to the world", and other modern clichés. And they will always be pointed at because they are different from the herd. But the fact is that globally, human relations are deteriorating for a number of reasons, each of which deserves a separate topic. Causes due to culture, state, and other factors. A long and not very cheerful topic. Of course, as an author, I thought I was suggesting that I was in some form of depression. That I judge people too much, which is a sign of arrogance. But every time I began to analyze past and present relationships, trying to put subjectivity and emotion aside, I came to the author's conclusions more and more. For example, that when you communicate with others, in general there is no problem if you do not share about yourself. It is enough to be a good listener. And most don't even notice that the "interesting dialogue" is more of a "monologue." Otherwise, as the author said - you become something like a therapist. But at the same time, it happens, though rarely, that I come across real people. Those who have retained this seemingly past ability to make easy contact not because they are desperate loners, behind the mask of a smiling face and well-groomed body, and a positive attitude towards everything and everyone. And because they still have the crazy idea that in communicating with others you should treat your neighbor with respect and dignity. To his time that he gives you, to the interest he has shown in you. And that these things must be mutual. Many people forget this little specificity that applies to cases where you meet a stranger and every phrase, gesture is rather a small step of dance. Who dances by two. And it's important to have a similar sense of tact so that you don't step on your toes and your dance just stops. So it is with long-term relationships. The common denominator is that there must always be reciprocity, to move in unison. Many of the terms I have used are allegories. I just didn't want to use quotes everywhere. Those people who have gone through these processes and are excited by such thoughts will understand. For the rest ... it's not that important. Finally, reading the last sentence of the author, I remembered a very beautiful quote, the meaning of which I find / discover more and more often: "All my life I thought that the worst thing that can happen to you in this life is to be alone. "It's not like that. It's worse to be with people who make you feel alone." PS I really want to come across a topic in which there will not be at least one comment on the topic "Seek God and all your problems will be solved." I don't want to sound disrespectful to them, everyone is free to believe what they want. But this systematic preaching, in other words advertising, it gets a little annoying and starts beating fanaticism. Understand once and for all that people who know how to think rationally, and people who have seen more than one or two ugly things in this life that are a little difficult to explain why God has chosen to happen (such as your child dying in their own hands in a particularly ridiculous way), it is a little difficult for them to explain everything to themselves with God. And this concept of "God just tests us, our faith" is a convenient, but not very logical (and most importantly - true) explanation for all the troubles that for one reason or another happen in our lives. But if you don't understand the real reasons, all these things will happen again as you repeat this phrase to yourself. As an author, I do not want to offend "believers". I just share an opinion and honestly I don't want to get into a dispute with these people, for obvious reasons. But I'm happy for them, really :)
1 burattino2 answered
In my opinion (I am a man) you have some preliminary expectations and ideas about what the relationship between a man and a woman should be and an idealized image of romantic love. I think you are enchanted by these notions, which are probably the fruit of someone's imagination expressed in love novels and series and now they are your ideal with which you compare everything else. Normally - real situations can not be as inspiring as imaginary dreams and therefore they disappoint. You see where the problem comes from, but there is something else. You listen to others, judge their understandings, etc., but such great love is not achieved by passivity, spying on the lives and understandings of others but by activity, courage and action. With too much caution, nothing happens, as they say if you are afraid of bears - do not go into the woods.