The Choice To Trust

The Story

Hello! For some time now I have been thinking about the choices I have made and the ones I make with the people in my life, about all my relatives, close acquaintances, friends - women and men. My whole conscious life has been spent in disappointments with people, parents, relatives, friends, romantic relationships. People don't even believe that I have the past that I have because I am a smiling person, but the truth is that there has never been anyone who understands me, I have already realized it, myself, I understand and feel the most good. From time to time I get some understanding that makes me not give up everything completely ... because for me - relationships are everything. Unfortunately, now, with every new acquaintance, I am intentional, because I have the feeling that I know that the person opposite is like everyone before, like parents, relatives, 'friends', acquaintances ... So far I have not erred in my judgment, I have erred only when I have given a chance. I have no desire to communicate, I even feel pointless to talk. I don't like general conversations, and in personal and in-depth conversations I'm just giving, something like a therapist. For marriage and husband - there is no hope. Massively, people 'love' each other for a period of time, it's not love, love is eternal, I'm not talking about passion or the physical in a relationship, but about the feeling of love, if there is one - it's impossible to disappear. When I look at them and the men and women around me, plus the men who have tried to have something to do with me, their stories, their actions, their understanding of love ... well, it's hopeless. I sit and convince myself that is a matter of choice. Everything, almost everything, is somehow very presumptuous to think that absolutely everything is a matter of my personal choice, so it is with relationships, it still takes two. I know that if I choose to trust, I will be abandoned, someday, moreover, I will not have the understanding I give myself, then - why should I allow people to me, to communicate giving 100% of myself? It's impossible for me not to do my best, that's why. It sounds like a doom of eternal loneliness among the people I care about.

Last Updated
September 03, 2020
Author:
angkay7

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