The Boy I Didn't Deserve

Hello, I would like to tell you the story of a 17-year-old girl who made a really decent amount of mistakes in terms of student love. I'm not a writer and I'm sorry for the mistakes, but I try. In 8th grade I started studying in a relatively good school, as for my city, where everything was different. I met a lot of smart people, made friends and everything was wonderful. I put a lot of effort into school, well, I couldn't get a scholarship, but I was close ... 8th grade was a period of 1 year in which I changed significantly. I started to like paintings, pop music, theater, cinema, works of art. And yet I was one of the few who was interested in it. The year passed quickly and with the expectation that the next one will be the same, I happily welcomed 9th grade. At the beginning of the year, they were all the same - absolutely nothing new. I was in A class, A and B classes (that's all we were in the whole class) we were friends and everything was normal. Almost. Maybe I wasn't so social, I didn't have so many friends, but I was sure of one thing - I knew everyone in the class. Without two.

Two weird B-grade boys who stood together for the whole first week and didn't talk to anyone. It turned out that they were new, had recently moved to the city and did not know anyone. Well, my best friend in class and I decided to meet them. In one of the breaks, they rummaged on the phones. We approached them and exchanged names. Let the first be H and the second M (I didn't think of other letters, it has nothing to do with names). We asked them if they liked the city, to which H replied that it was cool. We agreed to divorce him sometime and get to know each other. We exchanged 2-3 minutes of enthusiastic words, until she and I looked at the other boy. He hadn't said a word, not even N had introduced him. M was just looking curiously and timidly with his big eyes without saying anything. Soon my friend (let's call her B) asked him what he likes to do. He just pursed his lips and shrugged. There was a 1-minute silence, after which the bell rang and we entered our rooms. All day in my head was just the look of M. Mina September. The boys seemed to have adapted to this environment because they talked to others during breaks. The strange thing was that H was pushing everywhere, especially in my class. He tried to fit in everywhere, laughed at everyone, and was quite relaxed and open while M was silent the whole time. Anyway, I added both on Facebook. I looked at their profiles - H was interested in video games, and M's profile was him and a guitar. One Friday, as usual, after school with a few girls in the class, we went out to talk. Outside of each of our topics, one took up the topic of the two cousins ​​who moved to this city. She met H and he told her everything. H's parents quarreled and divorced, his father stayed with the apartment and his mother had nowhere to go. At the same time, her sister had a serious problem. Her husband, who is also M's father, died of a serious illness. She didn't know what to do and just decided to move in with her sister, so they ended up in that place. Large house with many rooms, each with a different one. "Barotvchedi?" - went through my head.

They are completely different - His short, leeeeeeko full, sociable, and M is tall, with thick, long, blond hair to the shoulders. Strange. Knowing this story, I already knew how to act. At first I thought M was gay because ... well, the somewhat long hair and the fact that he didn't communicate with anyone, on the other hand, he just didn't like the simplicity of the other boys, obviously. I didn't know what to think of his cousin, though. Now he annoyed me, now I liked, abe, stupid thing, as he is called! One unusual Friday, there was a concert in our city. 3 bands played in the center. Great fun. Fun, fun until it's the turn of the 3rd. When 4 boys stepped on stage and played the coolest music for 16-year-olds, the hearts of the whole audience froze. The great drummer kept a perfect tempo, the vocalist sang great, the bassist had a good guitar, and the solo guitarist's solo was unearthly. Seeming slightly familiar to me, suddenly everything came to light. The vocalist approached him on one of the solos and said congratulations on ... Yes, that was him. The guitarist brushed his hair and it was M. I had never seen him with his hair down, only with his hair tied or dressed like that. He was wearing black jeans, a metal T-shirt, and a strange but interesting sweatshirt. Unlike the fancy pants, shirt, and sweater he wore to school. After the concert, a group of 15 people gathered, incl. and N, whose purpose was to get together and go somewhere to get drunk and get drunk. One of them was collecting money from each of us for alcohol when the boys from the last group passed us to say hello to some of our people. N told M to tell his mother he would be late tonight. M just nodded, which reminded me - the only time I had heard him speak was once in the hallway of my school when he laughed and now when he sang something. B and I were standing in the first place, trying to hear what H was saying to M when the second one saw us. He approached us and with a slight smile asked us if we wanted to come with him and his group to a pizzeria. In refusal, but I decided to accept. We made an appointment again in the center, but M offered me to come with him to them, to change clothes and leave his guitar. Their big house, which I had seen 100 times on the way to school, did not surprise me.

Everything was clean inside, their mothers were gone. He invited me to take a look at his room, which was a bed, a computer, 4 guitars and 2 amps. He wasn't even ashamed to wear his T-shirt in front of me. Well, it was fun at the pizzeria, I met him, he turned out to be really smart, he was just as interested in art as I was. For the next few months, I was busy studying and wasting my free time on Facebook. As it is called, stupid work! After the whole school year I went to so many places with my friends, even with M - we became really friends, we started going to the mountains, concerts, etc. together, the end of the school year came. There were 2 months left, to be exact. H was celebrating his birthday at home, in the absence of his parents and in the presence of about 20 people and a two-story huge house. The music I was listening to was not exactly my type, nor was alcohol, weed, drugs, and hookahs.

The strange thing was that I had seen M. only once or twice all night. Towards the middle of the evening, I went up to the second floor and saw M playing the guitar in his room, apparently recording something on the computer. As he sat, he simply took off his headphones, looked at me, and asked me, "Aren't you dying for fun?" His charming smile weighed 100 stones on my heart. Then I realized I was in love. I stood with him for a while, after which he invaded and ruined everything. "Pigeons in love, I'll take the lady for a while!" She took my hand and led me with her. He made me drink with her, even promised me that I would like to try weed. M was just sitting with a friend of his and talking to him. Well, an hour passed, then 2, and finally the alcohol said its word. Until I realized I was spinning corners with the others. And even more, until I felt it, H was standing behind me, feeling my ass. Then I made my biggest mistake.

For a moment I said to myself - hell, I'm young. We went upstairs, undressed and it happened. My first time was with a crazy pervert, drunk and intoxicated. After sex, if you can call it that, I felt like a ... geek. He got dressed and left the room. I curled up in a ball and started crying. I got dressed and went downstairs to see him paint another. I collapsed instantly. I looked with B, but I saw her pushing with someone else. The irony was that the very next day I had a birthday. I took my coat and managed to leave when severe pain in my stomach squeezed me to the floor. The moment I fell, someone picked me up and dressed me. He put me on a horse and took me out. I live 5 minutes away from the house, so it was not difficult to take me out and take me home. Along the way, I apparently lost consciousness, because the last thing I remember was my legs rolling on the ground. In the morning, there was an envelope next to my bed with a T-shirt of my favorite band and the inscription "Happy birthday, I love you!".

When I logged in to Facebook, I saw a novel by H, in which he describes how he acted like a fool and wants us to be together. I assumed the gift was from him. Of all the congratulations, I did not see either M or B. I did not want an explanation from them, for 1 month I had not written or spoken to either of them. When I reconciled with B, she explained to me that she and M had dragged me to us and, with the help of my father, had cleaned me up and put me to sleep. He dumped me because I refused to have sex. When I wrote to M, I expected him to be angry with me, but he just didn't care. The T-shirt was also from him. In the summer I saw him once or twice and from a distance, and the weeks in which we wrote 2 words for 7 days were terrible. I didn't want to see H anymore. At the beginning of the school year, we said goodbye and goodbye. When I asked him if he really had anything serious about me, he replied, "Well, there was, but after that party, it slowly disappeared.

"He never asked me if I had anything to do with him. I never thanked him for everything. I keep the T-shirt as a reminder that he remains the most unique boy I've ever met. I'm still so in love with him and I still can't forget him.Thanks for hearing my story! :)