You make your current friend dirtier by standing with him without feelings than if you break up. Put it down! How do you even have sex if you don't want it? Let someone love him. If there's going to be something with the snowboarder, no one knows, try it. But even if it wasn't in the picture, you should part with your friend. You live a lie.
Jen
Well, darling, these are dilemmas and problems that people have been clearing up since the dawn of time. And I don't know so far if anyone has found an unambiguous answer to which :)
From the standpoint of my much greater life experience, I will tell you the following:
1. In a week you can hardly judge a person ... not infrequently, after months or years, he turns out to be the diametric opposite of what you have acquired as initial impressions. In addition, with such "partying" and "positivism" people often cover up (consciously, and more often than not) deep emotional traumas and other horrors that you can't even imagine.
2. You are attracted to something you simply did not have in your life, and your soul longed and cried for it to happen to you. If you go through 10 or so similar relationships with such partygoers on the one hand, and with more "boring" people like your friend on the other, you realize that neither kind of people are so "Ihu! Ihu!" Nor the other kind. are so tragic. In most cases, the work is more a matter of perspective, and is in fact a fuss and a little noise in your hormonal system and in your mind.
3. Now you are inspired, excited, IN LOVE, but ... unfortunately such moments in life do not last long (nor do they happen often). Family life, everyday life, raising 1-2-3 children (which is actually the main and ultimate goal of such a "game") as a feeling and duration have nothing to do with your mental and sexual thrills now.
4. From the position of time, what you feel towards one and the other at this moment - can be equalized, or even reversed ...
Again, it is difficult and impossible to judge a person from a week of acquaintance. You don't even know your friend, because 1) you haven't seen him in action even in the situations that are yet to come in your life, and 2) a person can be likened to a movie, in the sense - it's not a static picture ... People they change - sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse ... You have no guarantee of what they will represent in 10 years.
I can describe to you a possible bright future, as well as a complete catastrophe with both. And it is most likely that you will actually connect your life with a third person, whom you do not even know now.
Let's try to look into the future:
Scenario 1: You catch the new one. What follows is a burning love with the power of a nuclear explosion. Things happen to you that you never even dreamed of. A year or two on the cherry - you visit ski resorts in many countries. Emotions, adrenaline, crazy! The first child, conceived with a lot of love and a party, appears, however ... the man does not want to take on the role of a father - he continues to go around the resorts with the same enthusiasm, with the same smile and zeal for life, respectively meets a very captivated girl like you. ...
Scenario 2: You catch the new one. You fit in as if you've always known each other. Gather the companies, go around the resorts. After 2-3-5 years, your enthusiasm begins to fade, you begin to think about more serious things in life. He starts an independent business, you are happy to help him. You don't have time for children, love is gone, but you are business partners and that's enough for you. You live in a palace and eventually take a few more cats ...
Scenario 3: You return from the resort, force yourself to forget everything and continue with your old friend. Things are no longer the same, but they never were ... After years you reconcile, or you find a new thrill, but something terrible happens - an accident in which they amputate one of your legs ... Then your friend wakes up unsuspected human qualities - he is by your side unreservedly and everywhere. You rediscover it. You even manage to conceive and with joint efforts to raise a child, who after a time, provoked by the suffering of his mother and their healthy relationship with his father, becomes an unprecedented luminary in medicine, prostheses and human-machine augmentations. Even though you are already in your 60s, you are back on your feet and snowboarding as a teenager on the hottest chukars, fondly remembering these times :)
Scenario 4: You start secretly cheating on your friend with the snowboarder. You hide so as not to hurt him - because he deserves it, but the heart and the kitten want theirs ... At one point he understands the truth, it ruins him and he gets drunk. The snowboarder also dumps you because he has found a new body or because he is already tired of looking at you unhappy like an owl and with shadows under his eyes due to his friend's alcoholism. Whether it's because you've changed, or the years have progressed, you don't look at a man anymore, and no one looks at you. You stay with your friend, who over the years starts to touch you, you get depressed and have no desire for anything. No children, no love. After about 10 years, he is remembered for cirrhosis, and you still stay until old age.
Scenario 5: You make, you cost, butterflies, conscience, at some point you end your relationship with both. There are third and fourth ones, and you can't find a man who fits you in every way
The first one with your friend is nothing.
She didn't want to hurt anyone, she didn't want to cheat :)
I'm very interested if Mr. 007 goes from the "videos" phase to the fava "offensive" and invites you to a casual and friendly dinner, and quite by chance he finds himself near you, just as casually, what will happen. I'il tell you, you're going to jump on each other without thinking about it. for it pulsates the lower part of your tummy, no matter what beautiful expressions you describe in man's most ancient instinct.
So until the next guy who might end up in front of you in the store queue, say...
You think selfishly. There's no complete happiness. You make your choice and you endure and you have the consequences after that.
By playing provocative themes, at least make them more credible.
Does the "life-time snowboarder" turn out to be some uneducated lump and sold with a low salary, without a house and a car and sunk in credits?
Because you might like it as a lover, but it doesn't work for a family. You're just a kid, you're 23, you've got another five or six years to play (and you're probably going to change a lot more men in that time). But always have one thing on your mind and look ahead to choosing a man who, even if he's not the first handsome, first-time youth, and not the funniest in the world, can give you security and protection. That's always the right choice. Otherwise, there's a lot to duck.
Don't break your relationship, girl! Now he's charmed you, and I think in one, two sex, it's all over. Do you know how many men just want to take advantage of sex and are experienced hitmen? No wonder he just wants to see you and feel you and run out of in exactly three days. If you want it so bad, go to satisfy him for one night and then you rub the contacts and forget. M31
Thank you very much for the comprehensive answer, number 2. Similar scenarios have been swirling in my head all the time over the last few days and I'm not myself at all. Shortly after I dropped the topic, I thought about my relationship. Yes, with this man, I never felt like a little kid, there were never butterflies and all these symptoms, but over time I loved him. He has his charm, and in general for those two years he made me a much more balanced person than I was and we haven't even had any serious fights. We live extremely peaceful lives and all I miss is the thrill. He's the kind of people who don't like to travel, don't like to see museums and they're annoyed to walk aimlessly. It weighs on me too, as I have always dreamed of going around different cities in different countries, discovering new places and creating memories. I would be much more happy if he gave me vouchers to rest somewhere than if he bought me something expensive. I've had a lot more memories, and he's always been a part of some gadgets that... they don't even need it. In two years, we've never been anywhere outside Sofia, just the two of us. We've been out to dinner exactly three times. We've only been to the movies, bowls, ice rink, only with friends. On a walk in the park last year we went, and the total times we were there did not transfer 5. We have almost no common memories, just the two of us outside the apartment. And that's all I don't like about him. I hope I answered number one about having sex with him - I'm not insensitive and indifferent. If that were the case, I'd have left and i wouldn't be at this crossroads right now.
The other one I've so taken a hit on, it really seems seemingly frivolous and frivolous, but he's been hurt recently. He was in a four-year relationship and he was cheated on, which is too hard to accept. If he's been faithful for so long, I think he's serious about relationships. He brings his demons with him, and I have no way of knowing if he's completely freed himself from them, from the ex, if he still doesn't love her, if he's ready for a new relationship. At this point, I think he needs more time for himself to reinvent himself and heal himself completely and I'd rather be... vent and substitute, treatment.
The scales tend more towards listening to my mind and staying where I am. Adventures I can always have in my girlfriends, females, and from now on I will try to stay away from beautiful strangers :) In reality, no one knows about these dramas, I have not told absolutely anyone (except you), during the break I tried to look as disinterested as possible, and I don't think anyone at all guessed what was going on in my head. I don't know if that counts as a dream - the thoughts and fantasies of someone else themselves - you tell me. But physically, I didn't even touch him. And I wouldn't, not until I parted ways with the current one. So here I will also answer number 4 - I, as long as I am bound, alone on dinners and walks, and in general I would not go out with him myself, so it can not be offensive. Nor is it ethical to hang out with other men while I have my own, not anything. Only I would agree to go skiing together, but it would only happen if the girls came, I'm not alone with him.
I'm going to try to change my relationship a little bit, try my hub for getting him to go out a little more often. We still have a lot to learn from each other and much to build on what we have. I'm going to tell him that I want to go to other countries, that he's walking me around, and I want him to be with me to see what he's going to do. I'm angry that that's how I've become so self-aware and betrayed him, even tend to share my anguish at a time when I'm more sober-minded and less emotional.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read the topic and left a comment. Be careful what decisions you make, because they can turn your whole life around. :)
- The author
Author, sit down and write the pros and cons of the deama. But before you embark on adventures, end a relationship with your former friend.
Doesn't this boring homemaker deserve to be with someone who's really in love with him? You gave him a chance, it didn't happen. Let him look for his happiness. He may be sad and nasty at first, but at least he'il have a chance to find mutual love.
Tell him honestly that you just can't love him the right way. Every breakup is unpleasant, but life is far from just flowers and roses.
You're 23. You don't have to look for security right now. don't you feel like he's dragging you into life?
G31
I'd say as a man- just tell him the truth, a man would appreciate it in time. Otherwise, you'il turn him "into a monster" as you put it, if you lie to him, think he'il take revenge on every one of them.
I speak from experience, I so loving a woman madly more than 10 years ago. and she didn't just tell me the truth, but she lied to me, and when I found out I was really crushed, 2 years. I needed to continue, but it has hurt me a lot to all women and for over 10 years. I can't find a replacement for this woman. For this reason, I have heard about myself things that I would not otherwise - that I am a garbage man, a bad person, a used man, etc. for women to me are rubbish, and I never loved anyone afterwards, and I despise them internally.
It's been 13 or 14 years. and dozens of women, and I have broken hearts a little with all sorts of and deceit.. I just can't love, for this, and I have no family, I have no one but a malice and loathing of women. If you don't want to ruin a man's life, just tell him the truth.
Greetings.
Please do your friend a favor. Leave him and let him find more than "I love her very much." It's like "we love each other very much." It doesn't happen to everyone, at least give them a chance to find it.
The rest I don't think I'm going to comment on. Whether it's with the snowboarder or some other actor, no matter. Actually, you're going to do yourself a favor.
You're only 23. Now is the time for emotion. Throw yourself upside down, because then for many years you can be bored...
To me, you're selfish. And yes, the Serbs. And what are you going to do when the new Don juan passes you? There's no point in ruining what you have for something that maybe doesn't exist. You don't care about the boy you're with??? If so, run, not wait for some Romeo to show up to decide you don't love your friend anymore.
You say "financially stable" many times, if you choose your men at 23, they'il be so boring.
Your friend's not going to be a monster, you're just going to make him stronger. There is a high probability that it will grow, have more interesting hobbies, etc., so you rather stop its growth.
Someone said - If you think of another person while you're in a relationship, it's clear you don't love him. So you know what to do. I was in this situation because of the third woman, and I left the current one. There's no guarantee it won't happen to you, no matter what you do now.
I don't know if I'm passing for homemakers -yesterday from the morning I'm out -it's 3 March-Day of the Liberation of Bulgaria from an Ottoman yoke! I took my camera, flag and directly to the square -I've never celebrated March 3-I'm always at my house in front of the TV, watching the direct turns on! But I decided to feel the atmosphere of the holiday– it's another thing to see it live! From 10. 00 hours began the ceremony on Pl. "St. Patrick's Day," he said. St. Kiril and Methodius" in Varna, then began the procession to the monument of Graf Ignatiev, wreaths and flowers were laid, then the procession proceeded to the Sea Garden, to the Memorial Monument of the Ukrainian soldiers, laid wreaths and flowers, and finally the procession proceeded to the Monument of the Russian Warriors, where the Varna and Veliko Preslav Metropolitan John uttered a peaceful prayer! It was about 12. 40, and the relay tour of Radio Varna had already begun! About 14. 00 it was already over, as well as the awarding of the winners and the teams! And finally, I attended the evening fireworks check! I don't know if you, author, would go with a guy like me- all kinds of snowboarding stories are alien to me, but if there's a holiday, I'm out! I don't have company, and I don't need it, i'm 36. I had read that today's people are just one of the people and the best of them, and one to form new friendships in 30 years. is a mission impossible, and for companies not to mention, even more so, if they are not set to a wave of "patriotism", because if it were not for Hristo Botev, Vasil Levski, Stefan Karadzha, Georgi Benkovski and all the other known and unknown warriors who died for the freedom of the homeland, Bulgaria would not have it! That's why we have to pay tribute and always remember the heroes who died! You're talking about emotions- here's your occasion-go to the ceremonies and the celebrations of our national holidays in your city! All over the country, even in the villages are organized these events and people feel part of the holiday!
Author, let's put the new boy aside. It's clear that with your current boyfriend, you're not happy. That doesn't mean you're unhappy, surely the person has the pluses that you value and enjoy with him, but clearly something very important you miss. If you're active, you like to travel, play sports, museums, concerts, etc., and it's the complete opposite, you don't have a future together. Just think about what's going to happen in 10 years. Life with him will be boring and boring if you have children you will spend a lot of time with them, and when you have time for yourself, or you will stand in front of the TV and while you dream of exploring Rome or see friends and tell them how boring your life is and how your husband doesn't want even a walk in the mountains to do.
I've been in your position, and I know what it is. I love travelling, playing sports, going to concerts and other events so much, and he only wanted to sit quietly in front of the TV. If he was going anywhere, he was somewhere with friends to have a beer. After 7 years and quite a lot of conviction on my part, he tended to make a short trip, 10 days. It was a complete disappointment, it was a nightmare. The first day of rest, we did a tour of the center for 2-3 hours. The next day, he told me that he didn't want to go out and that he was going to stay in the hotel to watch TV. On tv the broadcasts were in English and another language, he did not speak either. He'd rather stay in the hotel and watch soaps in incomprehensible language than take a walk. The rest of the day was constantly snzzed, complaining constantly, the way away, the food was not good and similar. I understand i've got misfortune with him. He wasn't a bad man, but he was just killing my desire for life with that sluggishness and forever sitting at home. For a while after the unsuccessful break, we broke up. It was the best and most sensible decision I'd ever made before. I started traveling alone or with friends. Well, I don't have to say how happy I feel every time I get on a plane or a bus and step into a new world. I look calmly and no one grumbles on my head.
You're young, if you don't live now, when? Then you'il have children, other responsibilities... When you retire, you won't have that kind of energy. Don't put your life and happiness away for tomorrow. Tomorrow, most cases never happen. Don't look for excuses like "I don't want to hurt him," "there's no one like him to find," "he doesn't deserve to abandon him"... It's better to get through it now, not 10 years from now. Because sooner or later, such connections collapse. The bad thing is when they already have children, they're both in their 40s, and it's already much harder to find a partner.
Another one like him you won't find, everyone is unique. But you might find a better one for you.
Every person deserves to find a partner to be happy with. He better find a girl with his interests.
Think about it.
Don't lie to him. You have no idea what a boring life awaits you if you stay with your current friend. Things get worse over time. He'il get away with it, he'il be hard, he can go a year, but he'il get over you, go skiing with the other guy, let him go a little bit further and make a quick decision not to get up from two chairs to the ground. Men love women who know what they want. If I were you, even if they caused pain (and this will do to me, because I don't like to hurt people, it hurts me so much for them/ I would definitely choose a snowboarder.
Neither of them. You're 23, life is ahead of you. I guess your relationship is boring, and you don't love your boyfriend very deeply because you're in love with someone else. Falling in love is also unlikely to last. You'il just find someone who combines what attracts you both. You're comfortable with someone, but you're interested. And until then, you can date one or two more guys. It's normal for your age to be in love, but don't forget, time flies fast. Be careful not to prolong an unnecessary relationship, which is clearly not a priority for you and not to marry someone you don't love. Be careful not to remain an eternal teenage girl who runs on cute snowboarders. Both are important - both security and attraction. They should both be there.
No one wants a boring life... have common interests, even ways of vacations are critical!
Unfortunately, at 23, I didn't understand it either. I was with a woman we'd get away with in a lot of places. I summer at sea drive windsurfing, it lies and reads books.. Sexually, we got away with it, too. He didn't like to go around with me, I'm like you, I love new towns, museums, etc.
Result? I got so bored after a few years, I didn't want to take her anywhere literally... Anywhere. The first 2 years - all the restaurants and restaurants were ours. So I've made it a lot more than three times ;)
The catalyst for the breakup was, something similar to yours, there was another woman I was interested in. Out of conscience, though, I got rid of her, and I didn't do anything. It's been a few months, and I just realized that I live without passion.. I was adamant that I couldn't continue to live in such a gray way, and we didn't even have children yet.
I left her after many years of losing and on the 2nd because I misjudged. Although someone might be the smartest, the best, the coolest, and so on, he may still not be your guy.
So what you're doing right now is just postponing a very difficult decision... Don't do it! He wasted no time on himself or on him.
If you were in a position of choosing m/g. 2 and not knowing is acceptable. In this position, however, things with your current friend are game over. If you were your guy, you'd never think about replacing him with someone else, it's as simple as that.
The biggest risk is not risking anything. Take a chance. And as you've been written above, it's very likely that all drama will be redundant, because a third will ever appear. Dissimilarity in interests is not small. I knew couples like that- the chick wants back and forth, and the boy doesn't pick his ass off the couch. It's not working. This frustration will burn more and more intensely in you over the years. And believe me, adventure with girlfriends is up to a while. They're going to be married to kids tomorrow, and so are you. They're going on family vacations with other couples, and yours won't. Are you going with the kid alone? Now is the time to try, to look for yours! Don't put up with less than you want. You'il be 30 tomorrow and you won't have that freedom anymore. That's what youth is about, breaking your head, making mistakes and learning from them, eating it! So... even if you do not get to the vnchilot with the snowboarder, it is irrelevant. Don't do it for him, do it to live your youth to the fullest. And that includes bad emotions like breaking your heart or breaking someone's heart. Emotion is what keeps a man alive. And bad and good emotions, life is colorful, don't stay static and don't paint your black and white. As for your guilty conscience towards your current boyfriend- and I once stood with a boy, only not to hurt him, even though the relationship had run out. Finally, I understood one thing - neither it was easy for me, nor did I do him a favor to "protect" him from injury.
I'm not going to write a long comment. I want to tell you that three years ago I was in the same position, except that I had already made attempts to change the relationship, which were unsuccessful. I want to tell you that when a person is in their comfort zone, it's hard to get him out. He has to ask himself to do something... So three years ago, I made the decision that I was ending a serious relationship with a supposedly bright future for someone else. I didn't know what was going to happen, if he had feelings for me, I knew him just as a friend and nothing more. Things have turned out unexpectedly quickly and we have been living happily together for a third year now. Risk it, there's no point wasting yourself where you've been. If it's not a snowboarder, it's someone else.
Greetings!
No, you're just another guy sitting with someone of interest, and you dream, you want to sigh at a snowboarder-type man. It's the truth, it's true of you and many others. Almost every woman has an ideal man in her mind, but He always passes him by. Enough of it, when are you guys?
Just a few days ago, I was in the same situation. I broke up with my friend, but not because of a new thrill, but because he was boring to me. He loves me, he's shown it many times, but I never responded with the same. it just didn't fit me, there was no thrill or emotion. It was hard and guilty to separate because he's kind and affectionate, home-made, caring. When the butterflies are gone, even in the beginning, it makes no sense..
Split up, but don't do it because of the new young man you met, but because you're wasting each other's time and not your man.
The homeboy! A million times the home! The other one is more interesting, but in the end, he'il either get enough of the action and become like the first one, or he's going to beat himself up in a stunt.
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