People consider me a very good person, I leave such an impression in them, which is not true. Sometimes it comes to me from the inside to be a good person, to help someone in need and I do it and then I feel good. But most of the time I'm "good" or I just keep some truth to myself, not because it comes from inside me, but because I care too much about other people's opinion, not to have fairs and so on. Sakun not to offend anyone, not to be considered a bastard, not to say that I summarize and what not. And that depresses me. Somehow I rape my feelings and emotions. I want to shout some things, but immediately a voice calls out to me, "Abe, are you crazy, then it will be confusing, how will you look the man in the eye later, what will they think of you." The second voice then counters, "Well, yes, but I'm tired of raping myself." In 99% of the cases, the second voice is accepted somewhere, agreeing that it is better to calm down, not to be thrown out of the social circle, that my mother taught me that - to be brought up, etc. Yes, it is certainly not good to give too much will to such emotions, but sometimes I feel like shouting, "Abe man, how can you be so simple and not see elementary things."
Or "you're a disgusting whore who has puffed up her lips with some shit and you think you're very beautiful, but you've become like my ass in my mouth, I'll drift off, I'm fed up with sheep following some stupid modern trends and my napping the dick that I summarize all the botox empty-headed palms sex dolls ". Or "hey, brazier, why don't you get a job or study something instead of thinking the state should feed you, fuck your mother, or, for example, when I see an ugly colleague making some clumsy hints to a colleague, I tell him "abe, look how ugly and clumsy you are, do you seriously think that this one will tie you up?" Or when someone writes a plural with "y" at the end, I come to shout "abe, fagot, how can you be so illiterate? Where did this IJ come from, when it doesn't even sound like that? And why has this been so widely confused lately? I would feel sorry for a jerk, but you became 99% in this country, well, fuck your mommy to fuck. "But to tell him straight in the eyes live. I can go on, but many people will recognize, and without that, they have already confessed and I will make a serious hatred, that's clear, they will accuse me of energy vampirism, etc.
But my thought is that when I hide like this, in order not to offend anyone, I somehow feel that my emotional energy is somehow suppressed and I feel depressed, I have no physical strength and energy and somehow I have no motive. I feel intuitively that I need to release this energy to move, not to be stagnant. And so to feel energetic, motivated and light. Something similar happens in the movie The Liar. Jim Carrey's character loses his ability to lie and be hypocritically honest, then begins to say straight in the eyes of his colleagues who's ass, who had a disgusting boil on his nose, who was fat, how unsatisfactory sex he had last night, however all this had serious consequences. And I both don't want them and I don't feel like saying them, and I can't suppress them anymore. And because I guess more or less in what direction they will attack me, from now on I say that I am not perfect. I'm short, bald, fat, ugly man with headlights. I'm greedy and I always want more money, but I don't feel like taking risks and starting a business. Another question is whether it is worth it. And that's why I go to an office for a decent salary, because I don't have balls for more. I'm super boring. Women have never shaved me for 5 cents. Recently, to my amazement, there were 4 women from work who tried to wonder what they liked about me, so I don't even have self-confidence, but all three of them are old, which is understandable, because a young woman will hardly like me.
And both of them are ugly as a cover. Come on, the one in the body is really very good and puts the 20-year-olds in her little pocket, but in order to have sex with her, I have to put a sack on her head. And the fourth bride has a lot of moles. You can see for yourself that pickiness, without having much choice, is also a bad trait of mine. This, that I judge too much too. But in the end, as it comes to me from within, does it make sense to force my perceptions. In fact, I've been doing just that for years - but I don't rape myself that way. And because I prefer not to tell all this to people, I decided to present it here and to be honest, I was relieved.
1 felipeparedao answered
You have a desire to criticize. Most likely because you have been criticized too much as a child, and / or because you don't seem to like yourself very much. When you are criticized so much, for example, you can start criticizing where it really makes sense and useful - criticize parents who are aggressive towards their children. They are the people who really need the most criticism in my opinion and it makes great sense to be actively criticized by the whole society!