Hello. This is my story. Who wants to do the work, let him read it and if he can give any advice I will be grateful. Once again I have a broken heart .. Yes, it is true that I am 17 years old .. to think this way, but it is so. There is no real love for me. Sometimes even friendship is not what we think it is. Sometimes the person you don't expect to betray you and stab you in the back does. I had a "friend" for two years. He was just a friend of mine, and the age difference was 7-8. He behaved normally in the beginning, he helped me with many things, we went out and had fun, but suddenly we started arguing. He was obsessing over me, behaving badly and starting to intrigue and as you can guess our friendship ended .. I am convinced that there is no true love, and as I even said, even friendship is sometimes just a "benefit." Both in love and in friendship they can use you and you don't even realize it for a long time. They broke my heart twice and I just think that nowadays there is no real love or if there is, it is for many short and still someone leaves with a broken heart .. I have girlfriends who are a living example of this .. As well as others who meet a few boys just to catch boyfriends, relationships without feelings are fashionable, after all we are the 21st century. There are others who, like me, fall in love with the person and would go only with the one they love. However, I am different from the others. I thought what I was feeling was just temporary, but I've been like this for 3 years and obviously not. I had fallen in love with two boys, one of whom stabbed me in the back and didn't know I liked him, he lied to me in his eyes, and the other liked another who didn't like him. Well, the second boy found out from the first that I liked him, but nothing changed .. and in spite of both I went with another boy, we were together for more than 9 months, but I didn't feel anything for him, then I realized that I just didn't I can be with someone I don't love. I have changed. I became distrustful of everyone. I was severely depressed for 1 year, even though I had a boyfriend and I thought I would forget about it, but it didn't work out and after another year I just forgot about them, and it didn't make much sense ... to give up vain hopes. Somehow I overcame everything. But my life brought more filth .. There is a girl in my class who confused me a lot and at first I refused to accept what is happening to me and my feelings .. From the beginning, when we met (2 years ago) no I paid special attention to her. She was nice and funny. But half a year later I don't know what happened, but I started to feel more than sympathy for her ... I started looking at how to talk to her, etc. I never thought that anyone could have such control over me and my emotions, my mood ... but it was like that every time. For these 2 years I have introduced myself as a person who doesn't care about anything and that they can't break my heart, that I have no feelings ... Just another mask that everyone has. This girl just doesn't care much about anything, except recently how to find a boyfriend and how cool she would be .. I get up and go to bed thinking about her. I don't know what to do, I've tried not to think about her many times and every time I've said to myself "end, that was it, I'll forget her, she doesn't care about me" and every time there was hope .. Most of my class accepts bisexual and homosexual, I was even surprised to learn that most of her girls (even some of them are homophobic ..) have kissed other girls .. of course I am not .. I have read many topics, movies, etc. separately and I do not know whether to tell the girl in question the truth, I'm just afraid of ruining our current relationship, she was insulted in her old school that she was gay, but that doesn't prove anything. I just don't know if to tell her. It just burns me from the inside, and the thought that he can catch a boyfriend even though he still doesn't feel anything about him kills me. What can I do if I can get some advice from people in similar situations, I will be grateful. I don't know how to tell her, but I want to. Only the thought that I can lose her stops me .. I'm thinking of getting drunk at a party and just telling her everything .. I don't care .. Now I'm just thinking how easy it would be if I didn't have a heart like most people today. It would be easy, I would not be broken-hearted, and I would break others. It's always easier to be selfish and hard-hearted. I just want to be happy Do I want so much? G17 from Sofia.
1 carmenspuddin answered
You're not alone. I'm the same job. People with icy hearts betrayed me ... It hurts a lot and you wonder why. I am very sensitive and I have looked for the cause in myself more than once. My guilt is one - that I loved the wrong people. I don't care if the right one comes, I've already given away. I look after my health and that's it.