Something Wrong With Me Or Everyone Else?

The Story

Hi! Girl, 19. I don't know if it's a problem, it weighs on me, I share it. I'm from the more since I graduated, I stayed here to study. I went to a law school. It's got me involved, I like it, but maybe it's not mine. I wouldn't say I was pushed in as I'm from a family of lawyers, but I knew my mother would be particularly happy if I did, so I did, I had no particular idea what to learn anyway. It's not a bad situation at the university, but they're not my people. It's hard to make friends, I'm not asocial, I just get sick of some superficial conversations sometimes, I get bored and I try to get out of a situation as quickly as I can. I dare say that with boys I make friends faster than with girls, only not by twisting the hair and opening legs, but purely friendly. I have a friend, but not many, and they're not the typical feminine chicks you're used to seeing around you. I don't know, we're talking on breaks, you just can tell how they're closer to the other girls, and they radiate femininity. That's my problem, I don't radiate femininity. I'm 1, 62, 49 kg tall, I like to do makeup and I go to a manicure every 3 weeks. My hair is medium length. My eyes are green. My body is well-formed. I'm describing you as getting an idea so you don't think it's because of my appearance. Besides, I don't like to walk very elegantly dressed in everyday life, I don't like the neckline to wear often, high shoes I also wear rarely. I'm wearing sneakers, Vance, Convers, etc. I'm taking clothes on brands, but more sporty. And maybe what's inside me, I can't hide it. I like girls, and I still find it hard to accept that. Both girls and boys. I've had sexual intercourse with both sexes. I'm afraid to find out, I'm afraid someone will even think about it. I'm ashamed of it. It's possible they can feel it, and that's why they're going to take it away from me like that. I'm in love with a girl, but right now we can't be together. I don't know how I'm going to tell my family. I try to cover it up with makeup, long nails, but I just have it in me, and it's obvious. I listen to absolutely every style of music, no folk and opera, I went to the disco, but it's not my preferred way of entertaining. From a psychological point of view, I don't understand why that's the case. My family is wonderful, with good financial capabilities, balanced relationships in marriage, my father is a typical tomboy. Everything in my family environment is fine. I didn't miss attention when I was a kid, I've been bought, but by measure. There were restrictions in the order of normality. It is important to mention that I have been diagnosed with chronic depression for 6 years. My last visit to a psychologist was five months ago, as I suffered a catharsis in my life, quite severe, connected to a third person. I've had sexual intercourse with two male people, one of them being my ex-boyfriend, who we've been with for five years and she was quite feminine. Even if I like a boy, I like feminine, gentle boys. I can't explain it. I don't need a libido, I don't need sex. I haven't had sex in over half a year, I don't mind, I really feel like something's wrong with me. I'm not being talked about by men, and I'm not ugly. Is it too much of a lesbian in me? Do I have a problem? Will that be the end of your studies? Every answer is helpful.

Last Updated
June 12, 2020
Author:
devanjacks

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