Social phobia or autism? Are they the same? Are they different? I'm very afraid to talk to a psychologist for a lot of reasons. I've been shy my whole life. I'm always sharing. When I was little, I had a problem and had to wear glasses. I was funny with glasses and everyone was making fun of me. I wasn't that shy at the time. Then, as shy as I was, I was trying to make friends. No success. I was very harassed. They took advantage of being sensitive and crying out for every insult. And at school, I was bullied because I was different. Because of this harassment, I already prefer loneliness, but in a way, I want friends (only online friends). I've almost never responded to fear-mongering. A year ago, my classmates were saying, "Oh, I think she's got autism." I was uncomfortable hearing these things. I wish I could cry. What if I'm really crazy? I've read that social phobia is fear. Fear of saying something wrong, or insulting someone without wanting to be the center of attention or fear of being judged for what you say. That's my reason for not talking to people. I've also read that people with social phobia delay social events (avoid them in simpler words). Always after every socializing situation, I analyze how it all went. They must think I have autism because I can't look people in the eye. Like I said earlier, it's because of my weird eyes. Actually, I can make eye contact, but not for more than 5 seconds and not with everyone. Some guys don't know why, but I can't look them in the eye. They just assimilated to you that I had autism. I've read that when you have a social phobia, you avoid eye contact. This leads me to questions like "Are these 2 diseases the same? ". I don't want to spend money on psychologists because my parents aren't very rich, and that's expensive. My physical symptoms, which I feel as only I feel them, are sweating, redness, my heart starts beating hard and I feel it everywhere, sometimes shaking and difficulty breathing (the last 2 least). I've made friends online who accept me for who I am. I've seen one of them live coming for the summer in my town (although in the center that's far away) and the others are smaller than me, so I can go to them. I've talked to them on video chats and we've done live doubles together (I haven't spoken, but they've been showing their faces). Two years ago, I was comfortable writing with strangers, and now it's awkward and I feel annoying, but to some extent, I want new friends, at the same time these are enough for me because I don't deserve them. I don't want to tell the psychologist about them because she's going to tell mom, and she's strict. I've been hiding for over four years. I used to feel guilty because I'm lying to mom, but I don't regret anything anymore because where I'm going to make friends like that. Sometimes I want to be on an individual form at school, but that means I'm going to lead an SOP. In 99% of cases when a teacher asks a question and everyone is silent only I know the answer, but I do not say it out of shame. For people who have asked themselves this question and have an answer (from a psychologist) please write. I hope this time the editors approve of this story because I can't find it.
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nicole_janett answered · June 03, 2020
Hey, I think I can help you where to write for you???
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higgins11 answered · June 03, 2020
I think it's because you've been harassed. Just because they call you "autistic" doesn't mean you are: people are stupid and uninformed, so they use the word as an insult to the people who don't. Many shy people can not look strangers in the eye, this is very common and is not a sign of worry. Not the same, autism includes many other symptoms, which are often different in boys and girls. Stop reading things on the internet and fasting up, you're just making more movies and you're not helping yourself. Been there done that, leads to nowhere. Physical symptoms are normal for anxiety. Don't take them seriously, they decrease when you start to come out of your shell and change. Look at breathing techniques.
Talk to someone you trust a little bit. 'I don't want to spend money on psychologists because my parents aren't very rich, and it's expensive. You find an excuse because you're scared. Go to a psychologist - it helps against that, but you really have to fight to change. It's not easy, and it's not self-help. It depends a lot on the person, what you call your problem, it won't help solve it if you don't talk to anyone. The first time is very tede, but over time it becomes easier. You can't fix your problem if you're not ready to take the discomfort. If you don't tell anyone and delve into even more information, it's going to get worse. From experience, these things with reading and thinking, and re-informing, do not work. Do something, do it.
Do not go on an individual form of training, try to overcome your fear bit by bit. not run away from the problem. Besides, you have the right to be there as much as anyone else. Put yourself in stressful situations a little bit and it'il get easier with each subsequent time.
People are selfish by nature, nobody cares about you or what you said (at least not as much as you think), what do you have to lose? And also the question is, why do you care what they think of you? Why should their opinion be more important than yours, how do you need their approval? The worst thing has happened to you and you've done it, there's nothing to give you anyone's opinion and disapproval. If they don't like you, them. Don't stop developing and you'il find people who aren't idiots. It's rare, but they're there.
"and now it's awkward and I feel annoying, but to some extent I want new friends, at the same time these are enough for me because I don't deserve them" Why do you want new friends? What do you mean, you don't deserve them? They chose to be your friends, you didn't force them. If they're not happy, communicate it with you or get out of here. Friendship is not something you should 'deserve'. Look around you, full have friends, what are you so mean than them?
Just because you have a problem doesn't define you what kind of person you are. You sound very self-critical, and that's because you're probably intelligent and sensitive and you don't realize how lame most people are. When you've been harassed, you think it's because of you, that there's something wrong with you and different in a bad way. Well, no, it's just how puberty works - someone is a little different (it's about trivial things - what sneakers does he wear, he's got a weird voice/hair, unusual interests... and becomes a target. It's not personal.
Everything you described is Very Normal, you seem strange and terrible, because you have no perspective. I mean, when you get to know more people, you're going to see that a lot of them have problems similar to yours.