Situation Without A Way Out.

   Your stress has come in more: * Everything will be fine! Once you have been responsible, disciplined and orderly, you can't help but become one! No one can "replace" you. You just have to let off steam. Do you meditate? Now you will say that this is nonsense, but it is not so. Just close your eyes and wish for everything to be arranged as before. But without using the word "NO" in your thoughts. The other very good technique is to scream. Strong! At home, you either go by car in a field ... outside the city and start shouting the letter "A" or "e", these are sounds that remove all negative energy. Try to take the air FROM THE BELLY, not from the chest! This is very important. Success! You will manage only forward and up!

   I sympathize with you, I hope things work out.

   Why don't you think about yourself and not what people will say. If you want to go home, do it!

   In which country are you. Instead of standing, look for a new job. And we are abroad, my husband was not at a good job, it is good that they removed him and now it is a good job that would not have happened if they had removed him. Look for a solution and despair. There is no such thing as non-payment and delay in wages in the civilized world.

   Courage!

   Although you describe your condition in no detail, I think you have the classic depression. Characteristic are exactly the things you describe: Inability to concentrate Hovering thoughts only around problems to the point of inability to do anything Problems seem unsolvable Excessive fear of possible complications of problems Panic attacks and many others .... This condition can be so it got worse that one saw the only way out in suicide ... absolutely typical of depression. I myself have had two such crises, in the first I was even in a day clinic for three months (only during the day, without sleeping) and they fixed me. The important thing to know is that depression is the result of low levels of serotonin in the brain. It is a disease like any other disease. But because a person is outwardly healthy, he is often underestimated. Modern medicines help a lot, have no special side effects and are even insanely cheap. Recently the patent of one of them expired and accordingly became cheap, in BG it is sold under the name Escitil, the monthly package is not even 6 leva, it is from the group of the so-called SSRI and it completely fixed me. Consult a specialist, the condition is not to be underestimated and with adequate treatment in just a few weeks you will see the world through different eyes ... Good luck!

   Apparently you've accumulated a lot. I just don't understand how they delay your salary like that. After all, they run away from BG mainly because of that. In most Western countries, there are harsh sanctions for delays. Are you working for the Balkans again? I hope you find a way out of the situation you are in. It's just that sometimes it's not bad to take a few steps back to go in the right direction again. Don't make excuses for some "ego". This ego only bothers you, and no one around you seems to care what is wrong with your ego. So don't set up imaginary barriers that get in the way.

   In which country are you, which deserves more than Bulgaria, in which your salary is delayed?

   number 6, do you really have no side effects? How long have you been taking this antidepressant?

   There is always a way out - always! And Bulgaria did not expel you, you expelled yourself. He who is fixed and has a purpose in life will be fixed everywhere! How do I sit like that for a year and a half without work ??? !!! What education do you have and what goals have you set? Sitting somewhere abroad because someone would think you're number one? Do you understand that the problem is in you and it's not just your ego? You have no real idea where and what exactly you want, or how to achieve it, but that's it, for prestige and self-confidence / fake! / you are pushing yourself somewhere with incorrect employers, just to be deceived that you have succeeded! Of course you will be depressed! You need a change, but selfishness prevents you from seeing the real picture and making the right decisions without being influenced by people's opinions. If it doesn't happen voluntarily, it will happen the hard way, but it will happen. Which do you choose? Finally, I will give an example with myself - with higher education, with a career in Bulgaria, then abroad, for a few years only, I openly declare that I will go home and do it, and no one thinks about it. to look at me condescendingly! Do you have such relatives and friends who will be happy for you, no matter where you are and what you do? !! Find your place and your environment, success!