Single Mothers With A Small Child. How Are You Doing?

   So why don't you get family benefits, there's still no one to help. At work, don't say you watch it yourself. You can hire a retiree to pick it up from the garden. It's very bad when there is no help, are the parents in the same city?

   It's bad that the father is abroad and you can't catch him. It's not that it can't, but it's a complicated job. Why don't you receive child benefits? There is nothing to explain in the interviews that you are raising your daughter alone. It is very difficult in every respect to raise your child alone. But it is absolutely necessary to start work. I wish you a lot of strength, because you will need it. Always find time for your child, talk to him, go out with him, play, read to create a stable relationship with each other. The latter is very important for the future.

   Okay, and why do you give explanations about your personal life in the interviews?

   I am the daughter of a mother in your position. My mother looked at me with great difficulty and accepted every opportunity for additional income. Although I am already a mature person, I apologize, I do not remember my mother seeking advice on forums. She didn't have time for the internet. No one helped her financially or physically. You can sue the father for maintenance, regardless of whether he is abroad. Escape from the small town, very soon your grandfather will be a student.

   What you are describing is terrible. The grandmothers are not right. You are a family. Besides, "whoever has a child to look after" your one parent obviously doesn't. This is not a family, families help each other. You are completely alone. And I don't see a way to get better. I am in the same situation with the difference that my father is with us. But in practice I am tied to the child and I cannot work. And he says, "I make the money, it's all mine." And I want to work and make money, BUT I CAN'T, because when a child is sick, and that's 2 weeks a month, even 3 sometimes, no employer would take me. And people are right, they are looking for someone to rely on. That's life. Everyone relies on everyone. I can't count on anyone and no one can count on me.

   By the author We currently live with my parents, but I want to get away from them. First, that they lead me to nervous breakdowns, grumble and give me a mind on how to look after my child, who is already old for me. People have already looked after their children and want peace. They are right, that's why I don't rely on them. At almost every interview I am asked if I am married and have children. It is not right for me to lie, one day the truth will come out. If I eventually find a job with hours that suit me, but the child gets sick, what should I say at work? I think of all sorts of options, but I still don't get the bills. To the 4th post, I did not say that I have no money and I am at the bottom, I still have some dignity. I speak 3 foreign languages ​​fluently and I have education and experience and I would not start cleaning toilets, for example, from nowhere, or because I had the opportunity to make money. In such a case, it would be better to press my rags for a few more years and be patient, but this is not the idea, it is a completely different topic. And even if your mother consulted on forums what and what, she hardly shared with you. And after she did everything that came her way when you were 5, for example, who took care of you? I am looking for opinions from women with a similar fate to mine, your post in this case has no place here because it is of no use to me. I do not intend to work 24/7, the happiness of my child is priority number 1. Not only is there no paternal presence, but also to deprive her of mine. Otherwise, the easiest option is to babysit and push non-stop, but that's not my goal. I like the idea of ​​the pensioner. As much as I don't want to trust my daughter to strangers, this is a temporary option.

   Once you say you know 3 languages, just start giving private lessons. Promote yourself on the Internet. I remember when I was in the 5th grade ours had enrolled me in English lessons with a lady who had a baby and her baby was in our room and sleeping while she explained things to me, dictated various sentences and so on. He explained to me very well and very carefully and calmly, my room was too hot and my air was a little stuffy, probably because of the baby, but the woman, as I say, explained quite well and really helped me a lot then. from3

   Author, my child is already 15 years old and I am still unemployed, although the father of my child is with me. My husband works either in Bulgaria for 12-14 hours or works abroad, I never had the option to expect help from him either for the household or for the child. Unlike you, I have no grandmothers to provide me with a home, I don't have much help and grumbling, my mother-in-law definitely said while I was pregnant that she raised her son and will live as a "German grandmother", and my mother died when the child was 1, 3 years. For the first 8 years we lived in apartments, then we took a house and paid off a mortgage. I started working over the years, but home and the child were a priority, so I worked for a month or two, something happened and left, after a while again and so a total of 8 times, then I gave up looking at all. Today I am almost 40 years old, the child manages alone and helps in the household if I ask,

   Number 4-girl is depressed and desperate and your hatred and reproaches will not help her. Your mother did not write on forums and did not have time for the Internet because there was no time at that time. Otherwise, believe me. What's wrong with the girl getting information from different people from other cities. The world is different from when your mother was 20. Then the children didn't care what clothes they wore and what phone they had. My grandmother retired at 50 in the category and devoted herself entirely to helping my parents with us. Today, people retire at 64, when their grandchildren are 20 and go to study and work in other cities / countries. To the author, I wish you to find someone to take care of you and to rely on. This has in most cases pulled abandoned women from the bottom. The big city will bring you more opportunities in everything. An acquaintance took her child to England, found a job, but she needs the father's permission, and if yours doesn't care, she'll be happy to give her consent. Not that it's easy, but you can only support yourself by being a single mother. Half of the Bulgarian braziers cheat like that and live happily ever after.

   author, you have always made a living so far, since you haven't lived with your father for 5 years. is there no possibility for a recommendation for a new job? don't you have contacts once you have education and experience? don't you have the opportunity to work online if you also know languages? Wouldn't your mother take the child at least when she was sick? otherwise, I don't see much point in pressing your rags into yours - the more time passes, the harder it will be to find a job with a hole in the internship. otherwise, the kind of job you are looking for - both with fixed working hours, and with a decent salary, and being able to be absent, does not exist in a small town. look in a bigger city.

   Excessive saint and God is not pleased. First, they have no right to ask you for an interview. So you say: It's not right to discuss my marital status at a job interview. Second, if you hold on so much, you say "married with one child." Third, when you get sick, you take sick leave, you deserve it. It's legitimate. Fourth, before you spend everything now, go to a family law attorney to file a maintenance lawsuit. They may be small, but they are money and it is different to know that you will have them every month. Success!

   Author, your child's happiness will not feed him tomorrow. Leave it with your parents and start some work. I have four languages, but currently no one is working in their specialty. There is a difference between getting to work and cleaning toilets. If you're with yours they can at least watch it while it's sick. And why do employers ask if anyone has children? I answer immediately. For most mothers, children are an eternal excuse for breaking away from work. Everyone has a sick child, but that's called rudeness.

   Isn't there a way to find a job, translate for example, or lessons, and work from home? Language teachers are also in demand, you will have time for the child. In interviews, say that you live with yours, without explaining yourself, once you start, you will not think of them as hospital, at the moment you will judge, I do not believe your mother will refuse you. I don't think it's a good idea to have a big city, most of the money will go for rent, hardly for a loan, besides, your daughter will be a student, in a new place, new people, a lot of stress for a small child. Rather, it seems to me that it is not a question of income, but that you want to live separately, it is understandable, you are probably looking for a new relationship, not bad ... however, the argument income in the big city does not seem solid to me, this it means higher costs, more stress for the child and absolutely no help without your parents nearby. Act as you choose, but think carefully about everything, especially for the child. Success!

   Author, you are impudent! Nobody helped her, but forgot to mention that you live with yours! The apartment is a HUGE help !! Ungrateful!

   9 - What does hate mean to you? How do you formulate hatred? And you give the wrong advice. The woman to find a man to look after them. God bless everyone, but many men are protected from mothers with children. The woman explains that she does not do this or that job. Living with her parents, they help her 100%. No one wants a low-skilled job, but it is not true that employers always ask about children. She prefers her child to be happy, ie not to work, justifying himself with his flu. The case is resolved: it will not work and there will be a happy child. I do not understand the author's question. How to have money without working? Not at all. How to look after your child while working? To try to work first and he will see. How to work with 3 languages ​​low-skilled work? Like anyone who wants to feed their child. If you have no choice you will not refuse a job.

   What biting vipers are on this site. It is supposed to be for sharing, advice and help, and whatever a person asks is deboned and made worthless. Hatters would not be tolerated, and every second comment was an attack, and instead of receiving advice, one was further depressed by murders and ugly findings. I ask anyone who has no idea how to help at least not to attack and to vent their anger and complexes on others.

   From the author My question was to mothers, in my situation and how they coped / coped. I live with my parents yes, but it's temporary, I don't want to force myself on them permanently. They are a type of "German grandparents" and do not want their peace to be spoiled for a long time. I want to get away from them because they make me nervous, they tease me that I'm not a good mother, etc., etc. I have no intention of looking for a husband, after the last disappointment, would you trust someone again in your opinion? I just want to find a job in the big city, in hours that suit me, and it is only 40 km from my hometown. I want to be independent and not have to ask someone to look after my child. Do I want so much? And to like to like my job, not to go by force, or because I have to. That with the lessons falls away, since there are online learning platforms, people rarely turn to physical education teachers. Until recently, I worked in a company that I was politely asked to leave, precisely because of the sick leave (which is almost never tolerated, especially in this sector), and I was paid a satisfactory compensation because it was not a Bulgarian company, but the finished money leaves the fastest. . I am currently on the stock exchange and taking compensation, I have not lost it financially, but this will not last forever. I do not intend to have holes in my internship or internship in another sector, however, my career is important to some extent. And since I know that there are many successful women who are single mothers, I asked here, but I was obviously wrong. precisely because of the hospital ones (which are almost not tolerated anywhere, especially in this sector), as they paid me a satisfactory compensation, because it was not a Bulgarian company, but the finished money leaves the fastest. I am currently on the stock exchange and taking compensation, I have not lost it financially, but this will not last forever. I do not intend to have holes in my internship or internship in another sector, however, my career is important to some extent. And since I know that there are many successful women who are single mothers, I asked here, but I was obviously wrong. precisely because of the hospital ones (which are almost not tolerated anywhere, especially in this sector), as they paid me a satisfactory compensation, because it was not a Bulgarian company, but the finished money leaves the fastest. I am currently on the stock exchange and taking compensation, I have not lost it financially, but this will not last forever. I do not intend to have holes in my internship or internship in another sector, however, my career is important to some extent. And since I know that there are many successful women who are single mothers, I asked here, but I was obviously wrong. after all, my career is important to some extent. And since I know that there are many successful women who are single mothers, I asked here, but I was obviously wrong. after all, my career is important to some extent. And since I know that there are many successful women who are single mothers, I asked here, but I was obviously wrong.

   Take some money and go to the counseling lawyer. He will advise you on how to earn a living or ask the municipality in which you live. There is a procedure by which the child's support is paid by the municipality at the expense of the debtor father. Don't think too much, but act.

   17 / author, it has such women mothers, but they just do not remember to look for the existence of sites by sharing .. and most likely do not feel the need for it.

   I have 2 single mothers, they live with their mothers, they help them with the children, they do not live in rented accommodation. Think of an option to help you, it will be very difficult for you on your own, not only financially

   I was in your situation, I met my future husband on an international dating site. We met, we liked each other, he invited me to move in with the child, after about 3 months of relationship. I told his father that I needed a declaration, as a job was opening abroad, and the child would have a future. So I got rid of all the problems at once. I wish you success, I did not see myself in Bulgaria even in my wildest dreams.

   "And because I know there are a lot of successful women who are single mothers, I asked here, but I was obviously wrong." The mistake is that you "know" about such women. There is no. There is no such film to be responsible for the child alone, without a gram of help from anywhere, to have a favorite job and it brings you enough income. Or if there is only a movie.

   Number 4, unfortunately, from a lot of work you were left without education. Ah, the author hardly wants to raise a selfish hater. I was also raised by a single mother and I can't believe the situation in which you offer yourself hate instead of support. Horror!

   23 - There is a difference between constructive criticism and hatred, this criticism is also support. I don't know what you mean by upbringing - sometimes in life a person needs advice to make him look at things from a different angle. Best friends are not flatterers, but those who look together for ways to resolve a situation. Since you use the word hater or hateful person a lot in the context of my words and imply that they have turned me into one, at the expense of the author, who will not raise one, I will only answer you: do not confuse my mother's diligence with your projections . And just for information: what advice do you give in your comment to the author? Or it was a provocation to me. Because the answer is rhetorical, look for an element of insult to your person from my post to be aware of your hate case. Good luck!!

   From the author Thanks to everyone who responded. I thought and thought for a long time, and the options I chose were two. Or I'll look for a woman to pick her up from kindergarten and take care of her an hour later. This option, if approved from the last interview I was in, was called a second time after it, which leads me to think that it might work for me. Initially we will live with some deprivations, but the work is with perspective, there are bonuses, so at some point it will get better. Working hours suit me, weekends too, it turned out to be what I was looking for. Most importantly, I will not have to live with my parents and comply. My other option is to pack our bags and while I still have some money to go abroad to my girlfriend. Fortunately, I have an indefinite declaration for taking abroad and a power of attorney from my father to issue a passport, enroll in school, etc., at least for that I managed to push it in time. I'm not a wave of men at the moment, if something happens, it will be unplanned and expected. So thank you dear people and especially those with adequate advice. Number 22 there are many successful women, without a man next to them, they are not only in the movies, obviously you do not have any among your acquaintances. Thanks to such I was motivated. And I honestly don't watch movies, and I don't watch TV in general. Number 23 hate is all around us, unfortunately, and especially on the Internet and anonymous forums. In order not to spoil my mood, I just ignore it. Number 24 and I'm hardworking, but I know the price and what I'm capable of, and I'm free to claim conditions, salary, working hours and others. There is no shameful job, of course, but we are the ones who make our choices. I'm not trying to point anything out, I'm just being honest.

   From number 22 to the author. You didn't understand me correctly. I do not say "without a man", but without support, without help from somewhere. Most often, help comes from other relatives or from social institutions in some countries. But there are no superwomen who are 24/7 fully responsible for their child and career. Ask those you know instead of asking here. How to cope. I am SURE that the following will come out: the grandmother picks him up from the garden or takes him for the weekend or even takes him to the sea, to the village, on a trip for a week or two. The grandmother comes in the evening, when the woman with a career makes her career, because with eight hours a day there is not much progress in a business in which there are both men and childless, that is, freer. The grandmother comes to the rescue when the measles comes and has two weeks of quarantine. There is no career with such a long absence. Grandma comes to cook, when the mother stays at work. The grandmother then leaves the child to fall asleep so that the mother can take a shower without witnesses. However, these mothers do not see this as help. And that's why they claim that they look after the child on their own, all by themselves. But for example (and I'm not the only one) I don't have a grandmother, I don't have a cousin, I don't have anyone. As a baby, there were days without a shower, months without a normal diet. Once there was a danger of blood poisoning and I did not hospitalize on my own responsibility, but waited for the child at home to see if I really needed to go to the hospital. Not out of heroism, but out of nowhere. So, don't refuse help and don't say that you can achieve a career without it. There is time for a career. The children grow up fast, as you know, and then we will work hard. It is good that you want to work, you will show your child what responsibility means. But lower your expectations so you don't get spoiled quickly. Let the money for you and the child be enough for a start. Good luck.