Silence Is Gold, But Another Time

The Story
Hello
I want to share, rather ask. :) Let me introduce myself first .. I'm 27 years old. Already with a serious profession (let's say seriously for me). I work and try to create and do a lot of things. So far, whatever I have done, I have done it alone in my life, quite difficult, slow, and at times with absolutely no luck and support, even from those closest to me. Maybe they didn't believe in me, I don't know. Anyway. I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years. It started strangely. Rather, we were how to say from "modern friends with benefits."
 
Before that, I had a relationship for almost 6 years with a lot of dramas, problems, quarrels, divisions, and whatnot. Later I relaxed with my new partner. We have been living together for about 8 months. Until then, he took me almost nowhere, and I did not take him with me where I went out. Not that we didn't want to, but we were more selfish, so to speak. My friend has an older brother of about 4 years. A child was born to him. We started seeing them more often because of the child. So far so good ..
 
My friend is a person who does not speak very much on any more serious topics that directly affect us as a couple and our future. But a gram. We even lived together because I told him to come to me. A year ago I invited my cousin to live with me for a while and the only time my friend and I quarreled, he told me he wanted to live with him, but I preferred others. I didn't know how to understand what he was telling me and why. If you wanted a more serious step, why are you silent and not showing it ?? And please don't tell me that someone is afraid of something because we are not in kindergarten. A 28-year-old man should already know what he wants from his life. When I talk or send him some reading in the chat (for example, an article) about children, couples without children, etc., he abruptly changes the subject. Super illogical act. At the beginning of our acquaintance, we both talked that we were thinking about children after 30. He knows very well that I did not rush for a family, and right now when I work and think about some development. But I'm very annoyed! Not for anything specific, I just lost 6 years in a fruitless relationship, I don't lose another 6! I heard from my ex-boyfriend how wonderful I was, how much we were going to leave as parents, but we met too young ...
 
Very strange logic. Was age an obstacle that we are almost the same age ???? Here is something similar. It does not seem normal to me that someone avoids communicating about completely natural things. I did not press him, nor did I want anything serious from him at this stage. However, I don't think this man will ever say to himself if he wants to do something with me, and I wouldn't want to wait to hear him ... I love him, I hold on to him and I would always help him. I never made him support me or anything like that. I never told him that we should get married and have children! He once told me in his anger, while we were arguing a little rougher, that I had the potential to be the most important woman to him. But I don't see it happening. Maybe there's something wrong with me, I don't know. I just don't feel so aimless anymore, no matter how much I love someone, I want to see that I'm something for him and that he would like to build something with me. Is it so hard to communicate ...?
Last Updated
July 05, 2020
Author:
kendra_jackson_

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