"He once told me in his anger as we argued a little more roughly that I had the potential to be the most important woman to him."
Immediately, a second after such a sentence, I raised my heel, aimed at his ass and gave the initial speed for the strong smoke to disappear!
This sentence contains a poorly disguised threat, manipulation, egocentrism, narcissism, ..
- you have the potential, but you are not enough
- you have to change for MY good
- you are not important to me, special, unless you do something for the sake of which you are comfortable enough for me
- I'm not going to waste my time explaining to you, you have to remember how to serve the "sun"
Do you want to lose yourself an author ... hardly. Prepare the luggage for him, from where he came to go and you will see how someone will agree with him, even if he has realized that even from the "sun" something is expected - to warm, to caress you with his rays, to caress you power supply, etc.
If you listen to number 1, you will never create a full-fledged family. Such arrogance towards a loved one is extreme nonsense for which you would pay a hefty price.
Uncover the cards, tell him all this. If you want, send him the article.
Tell him directly what you want, if you want children - I want a child after 9 months, even if you have sex and see how he will react. About what he told you - well, if you're not the most important woman, why is she with you, or mom is more important. They men and 27 (did you say that much) are still like in kindergarten ..
Author, n 1 I am, I turn to you and n 2.
The opinion is from a woman in a healthy and complete family for 15 years. When I read your post, my husband and I were in the living room and I laughed. I also read to my husband. His reaction - "haha, tarikat". In principle, I did not even intend to write, I thought that his statement itself was obvious. Then, however, I read your post a second time, then I wrote to you.
He hasn't even really asked for an exclusive relationship with you yet, he hasn't stated clear intentions for a common future, and he's already modeling you? !!
Or at least it tries, it makes you feel subtle that you have to change yourself ... well, no.
My husband has hobbies that irritate me, but I am a part of him and I have accepted them, I even get involved sometimes or I just attend, I know that he likes it and that's enough for me. For his part, he doesn't understand my (hobbies), but he likes to be by my side and to talk while I'm doing my things. Neither of them has ever tried to change the other or instill in the other a sense of inadequacy. It's just that over time, we've naturally adjusted to each other. Because we are important, unique, special and we know it.
The other is ... the slightest disrespect for the person, the character, the essence of the other. In this sense, I advised you above. For me, this is pure manipulation. What if one day she appears in his life who will not need to change, "re-educate", but will only want to be with her? !!
Otherwise, yes, I agree with n2 to speak openly, although I support my first comment. This is how I proceeded, this is how I quickly got rid of unwanted consequences, that is why I am now with the right person and happy.
Author: Number 2, I agree with you, there really is a dose of truth in what you say
1 imurguy30 answered