I will tell my story, I really ask you for advice.
I don't know if age matters, but still - I soon turned 20, he's 23. I had a very hard time ending a 4-5 month relationship. It can't even be called a relationship, I don't know if I was in love, it was more of a thrill. Then he appeared. Maybe I fell in love out of desperation? I can't say why and how I fell in love. It all started about 3 years ago, just sex. We went out 2-3 times a week, of course only in the evening, no one had to understand, etc.
I had sex with others, even with his developers. It was just for sex, and for him. He was nice to me, I didn't think I would fall in love, he didn't do anything to make me fall in love. But alas, I fell in love so much ... Literally to madness. I didn't tell him, but he noticed my different attitude. I wanted to spend more time together, to talk more, I called him from time to time to hear him just, not by appointment. There was a separation, if I may call it, of 9-10 months.
At first, I was more optimistic. I told myself, we'd better end this thing now than later. The sooner the better. I go out with others for 9-10 months, compare them with him, etc. I was very, very in love. When I couldn't stand not seeing him anymore, I started to miss him more, I didn't want to go out with others anymore. They were annoying, unpleasant ... it just wasn't him. I decided to call him, see you. We went out once, I told myself everything, he didn't believe me naturally ... we started going out again. He began to behave a little more like that. It was already giving me a reason to fall in love with him. And I was much more in love than before. We were jealous, we were the only ones for each other. Yes but no. He cannot live without female attention. He wrote to others, went out when I understood, always found excuses.
Anyway, I knew how much I loved him, how much I was in love, I thought that was reason enough for us to continue together. Now that I've gotten a little more of his lies, all these girls. I try to talk to him, he hides, he lies ... And I'm just desperate, very much in love with this man. I have no interest in others, I have eyes only for him. I don't know where my mistake is. Many people have told me that they would like to, and someone loved them as much as I loved him. And yes, our "relationship" is a secret. Most of his friends don't know, we don't upload photos together, we haven't even added to social networks. We are hiding.
In general, I love him, and he continues to use me for sex, but he already lies to me, makes me fall in love more. He behaves like he's in love, but he's not, he says it to himself, and it's obvious.
Please give advice on how to handle it. Unrequited love is the greatest punishment for a person. Should I talk to him, should I give up ...
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