I have never been jealous. I don't even know what exactly it is. My first boyfriend used to say that if I wasn't jealous of him, I didn't love him. I still couldn't explain to him that I just didn't know what jealousy was. My second friend, with whom we spent more time together, was terribly jealous. I was talking to someone on the street (even once to a relative of mine) and just as I was meeting them, he grabbed me and pulled me down the street, sullen. I didn't have to talk to other men, my dress was too short, my demeanor very frivolous. When all this began to weigh on me, I left him. And I realized even more clearly that jealousy does not mean love, that it is fear, that it is an inferiority complex. My third friend left me for another girl. When I felt there was something, I just asked him to talk, to tell me the truth so I wouldn't feel like a fool. And he told me. I was not afraid of that, I became sick and sad that I was losing him, that I would not touch him anymore, that I would not kiss him. But he appreciated the calm with which I accepted the situation and we tried to be friends. However, his new wife was jealous of me, and one day I just walked away forever. And then I met the fourth man in my life who I wanted to be last. And now he is my husband. The specific incident ... happened that day. We were in a restaurant, from those little wild chalga mechanics, where people have fun and dance to the tables. We were with another couple, two boys (bachelors) and a girl. All our good and close friends. And then my husband saw his old boyfriend. (Boyfriend is a strong word, it was some kind of childish relationship, no intimacy, no sex, but he told me that he liked her very much) I was curious to find out about all his wives and he had shared everything with me, he even showed me pictures of them when we talked. So ... I recognized her as her. He was glad to see her and went to greet her. They talked a little and returned to the table. He invited her to a dance later in the evening. And ... a few things happened that are very strange to me and in an attempt to understand, I seek your point of view. First, as expected, the girls at my table began to get nervous, to suggest things to me, how could I let myself be made a monkey in front of everyone. I turned around - they were dancing. Something obscene No! Quite a normal dance and they were talking about something, a decent distance away. I asked them what they found strange, and even the boys at our table began to get annoyed. Apparently I didn't feel what was expected of me, but I never understood what (according to them) I had to do. The second, which is even stranger to me. Shortly after their dance, I went to the bathroom. God, it's still funny to me that I went back to my teenage years with those verbal shootings in the ladies' room. (Women know what I'm talking about) So I sit in the booth and do my thing and hear voices outside. Deliberately quite tall - two girls. - He is married. - And what if he's married ... pffff, that's enough! Did she see how crazy she was? "That jerk" was me, because when I went out I saw that girl with her friend. And she looked at me completely falsely ... as if guilty, and when I went out I heard that giggle in my back. And then all night she either smiled at him or deliberately twisted her ass around our table, brushing her hair. One of the girls at our table couldn't stand it and got up. I say to myself, "I drank a beer, Or maybe I was mostly depressed. That girl was prettier than me, much more well-groomed, her hair done by a professional, thin, tall, with a nice manicure. And I ... well, I'm not like that. I can vote, but somehow my time passed for these "muffin" performances. I try to put on nice make-up, straighten my hair on a press, a dress. But definitely, that night I really looked "that crazy" - after work, I recovered quickly so as not to wait for us. Yes, I'm let down, but I think that at 35 it's no longer ok to behave and dress provocatively, as if I'm still in the "men's market" My husband and I have no problems, we still love each other very much, we drool, we try we work for each other, we both work hard, the bed is unique, we have not diluted, we have not become alienated, we share, we are honest. We are friends, we fight for almost nothing. We try to be gentle, we try to build our small micro world with a lot of peace and understanding. What do you think about all this?
Answers 14
Purely and simply female envy and malice. Some women need to prove themselves, to scratch their ego that they are still getting up. And what better chance of that than a committed or married man? However, they are supposed to be "harder" prey, and if their wife is around and shows irritation, it is considered a spectacular success. It's good that you didn't do circuses and scenes. Such provocations are aimed at just that. As for your husband - tell him how you felt. She interpreted her dance with him as a small victory. However, she purposefully insults his wife, and that should offend him as well. Mine also acts so naively and then I have to pour into his head what such women are aiming for, while he thinks that everything is innocent and harmless. Emmy, whatever it was ... You should have told him very gently about what happened, and he should have ignored her, to dance with you under her nose and show her that he doesn't notice her at all. This is the worst defeat for such complex souls. Personally tested.
no, don't get depressed and don't pay attention. a pure sample of jealousy and malice was demonstrated by the chick. even if it is weaker, nice, maintained, their relationship (if there was one at all) is long gone. for your husband, it was probably a youthful memory and an element of politeness, which she may have misinterpreted because she wanted to. once you have a harmonious relationship, don't think about it at all, and erase the event from your memory. don't talk to her about her, don't pay too much attention to her, act like nothing happened. F44
Honey, I think this whole theater is just because this girl envies you. She saw what she had lost and she felt sick, and that's why all this muffin behavior was just to hurt and make you angry, and when you didn't react to the nonsense, she screamed in anger. Because her goal was to make you angry and humiliate you in front of everyone, and you reacted calmly and that just drove her crazy. So, congratulations to you for falling to our level and not making a scene! Forget the whole story! Once your husband loves you and you trust him completely, you have absolutely no reason to worry. And there have been and always will be enviable muffins, the important thing is not to fall to their level and let them be exposed and sprayed with anger. I'm even a little sad about them. They are so lonely, that they are ready for anything just to get a little attention! Because if this girl had a boyfriend, she certainly wouldn't behave like that even if he wasn't with her. So she's obviously so desperate that she's wondering how to get men's attention. That's why he doesn't worry about all this nonsense at all.
The main problem is not in that muffin - provocateurs will always be found! I am a man and I think your partner has missed the point! After he told you about her, what he was going to do to greet her and congratulate her, that he even went to dance with her under your nose and to discredit you in front of your friends - egati litli. This is not male behavior, I do not understand or approve of it. You reacted perfectly - you countered the provocation with coolness and she shit. I think it's good to talk. Don't grumble at him, just hint that you were uncomfortable. If an understanding and mature person, not a young lady, will understand you! And forget the case. What happened happened. It is important not to repeat. I would never go on to insult my girlfriend by greeting various cows and dancing with them!
Well, yes, she saw that he had a strong relationship and she felt bad. Obviously she's solo. Well, you're not. You're with a cool man, with a cool relationship. She counts more because she is hunting. In the evening she takes off her eyelashes and nails and goes to bed alone. Not you.
Darling, let me have your problems ... Have fun, girl! Don't expose us, the "crazy" team, where is your sense of humor? In the restaurant a virgin some deluded woman drank a drink and decided that it was God knows what ... Are you paying serious attention to this? I would tear my husband apart from a joke in your place. Of course, no jealousy is appropriate in this case, then if we start to tie ourselves to every stickleback and harass our men just because they have shown kindness to an old acquaintance, it means to drive them crazy, the poor, and ourselves. And since you paid attention to the young lady's hairstyle, go to your hairdresser tomorrow and do something a la "complete change". At least it will help you smile! And you know the recipe for a wife: shopska salad (but with roasted peppers), grilled neck steak, cold brandy; you: black lace lingerie and two drops of perfume ... be "crazy" all night ...
Well, I think as much as you don't want to, you're jealous too. But if you're not obsessed, it's okay. There is no way strangers can tell you if he has or wants to have any relationship with her or not. If the two do not meet often, everything will probably be fine. I think you did the right thing by not pretending to be something you weren't, just to rub the girl's nose. Be yourself, support yourself, and as much as you decide, dress as you like - whoever loves you will love you for who you are.
So he performed poorly, he is with you - and the dance with another ... Otherwise, she said so, because he is not with her now, we just always think of the best, irreplaceable and we want to be more ...
I will also congratulate you for your impeccable behavior ... but I will also advise you - be careful with such women. They are not as harmless as they try to suggest. Conversely, even pure malice can make you ambitious and cause you a lot of problems. It was personally experienced by me - so really clarify with your husband, show him that you are uncomfortable. Cross things from the beginning - don't cry later ...
I absolutely support number 4. Author, I think you should be offended by your husband's behavior, not by the words of some unknown muffin. Did your husband go talk to her in front of you, that they even danced? To me, his act is a show of disrespect for you.
I don't think you have anything to worry about. your company's talk probably makes you feel this way. because sometimes when a lot of people ask you 'what are you doing /' and you really start thinking 'what? '. but it's good that you're not jealous. no one likes jealous. or at least sane people don't enjoy it. very often, when we women are in competition with someone else, even if it is beautiful, better than us or acceptable, we are often told 'oh, it's very crazy; she is dumb and the like, as if we are winding ourselves to surpass her. ok she's prettier than you, but is she smarter? sweeter? more human? a better wife for your husband? hardly. her utterance was pure female envy. You don't care at all. you have a wonderful relationship with your husband and nothing else matters. he's with you, not her or someone else, isn't he? calm down
Според мен тази негова приятелка е напълно наясно, че връзката ви е много силна и повечето жени не могат да се похвалят с такъв самоконтрол, а ти си много над нещата щом си постъпила така и не си демонстрирала по никакъв начин дори леко раздразнение, което според мен съсипва егото на въпросната приятелка.. Малко мъже могат да се похвалят с такива жени!!! Винаги трябва да имаш едно наум но щом сте съпрузи и описваш брака ви като почти перфектния(за мен ест) няма нужда да се товариш и да отдаваш време за мисли, които просто не си струват!!! :)
I read your comments very carefully. As a matter of fact, at the moment, this incident only makes me smile, and I'm even a little sorry that I threw myself so emotionally to share. I love this forum, I read a lot and comment, and my first appearance with a story would be such nonsense. And for my husband and the exposure - no. Enough! we are great people. He didn't go dancing with her without me knowing. On the contrary, before he invites her, he asks me, but I don't have and I have never had a problem with that. It's as if I'm not greeting an old friend or classmate, it's not nice to ask him a little about life, etc. I'm more committed to her manipulations that I'm crazy. I may be ... but only in her eyes. And apparently the girl believed that she would make the evening interesting on my back. Apparently there are still immature women who have fun like this, make some provocations. And the fact that married men are sweeter, I've seen a lot. There is another thing, when my younger husband had more money (or rather that was his fame) Of course, more money is actually an iron discipline in spending and hard work, the ability to save .. So maybe you she thought she would quickly become the mistress of someone's "uncle's coin", which is just ridiculous, but who knows what was going on in her head. Old feelings or something - hardly ... I just blew up for no reason and now it's funny that I allowed it. And to tell him now after almost a week - you know what happened in the toilet, she anyway - is pointless. Most likely to hear "What are you paying attention to her at all? Don't expose her!" So much. Thanks for joining. that married men are sweeter I've watched it a lot. There is another thing, when my younger husband had more money (or rather that was his fame) Of course, more money is actually an iron discipline in spending and hard work, the ability to save .. So maybe you she thought she would quickly become the mistress of someone's "uncle's coin", which is just ridiculous, but who knows what was going on in her head. Old feelings or something - hardly ... I just blew up for no reason and now it's funny that I allowed it. And to tell him now after almost a week - you know what happened in the toilet, she anyway - is now meaningless. Most likely to hear "What are you paying attention to her at all? Don't expose her!" So much. Thanks for joining. that married men are sweeter I've watched it a lot. There is another thing, when my younger husband had more money (or rather that was his fame) Of course, more money is actually an iron discipline in spending and hard work, the ability to save .. So maybe you she thought she would quickly become the mistress of someone's "uncle's coin", which is just ridiculous, but who knows what was going on in her head. Old feelings or something - hardly ... I just blew up for no reason and now it's funny that I allowed it. And to tell him now after almost a week - you know what happened in the toilet, she anyway - is now meaningless. Most likely to hear "What are you paying attention to her at all? Don't expose her!" So much. Thanks for joining. There is another thing, when my younger husband had more money (or rather that was his fame) Of course, more money is actually an iron discipline in spending and hard work, the ability to save .. So maybe you she thought she would quickly become the mistress of someone's "uncle's coin", which is just ridiculous, but who knows what was going on in her head. Old feelings or something - hardly ... I just blew up for no reason and now it's funny that I allowed it. And to tell him now after almost a week - you know what happened in the toilet, she anyway - is now meaningless. Most likely to hear "What are you paying attention to her at all? Don't expose her!" So much. Thanks for joining. There is another thing, when my younger husband had more money (or rather that was his fame) Of course, more money is actually an iron discipline in spending and hard work, the ability to save .. So maybe you she thought she would quickly become the mistress of someone's "uncle's coin", which is just ridiculous, but who knows what was going on in her head. Old feelings or something - hardly ... I just blew up for no reason and now it's funny that I allowed it. And to tell him now after almost a week - you know what happened in the toilet, she anyway - is now meaningless. Most likely to hear "What are you paying attention to her at all? Don't expose her!" So much. Thanks for joining.
Honestly, I envy your calmness and composure. I don't know how I would act in such a situation, especially if I heard stories about myself in the toilet ... I would probably answer with the same thing as a MISTAKE. You behaved like a great man, you acted maturely and you were above things. Behave the same way now. It is obvious that you are much more than the young lady in question, who attacks married men in the presence of their wives. Eh..how many there are, shovel them, but let's not deviate from the topic. Reading what I have written, I conclude that you are an educated and intelligent woman who cares about her husband and has a strong and stable family. All this is a reason for this brat to envy you. It is for this reason that she has tried in the most base and ridiculous way possible to offend you with her words, because he just has nothing else to do. Apparently some of her old desires and longings have returned to your husband, but the fact that she can't make them come true has irritated her. Besides, she saw that you were liberal and balanced enough not to make scenes and faces for him, which irritated her even more. Do not allow doubts to creep into you, caused by the comic behavior of an old girl, nor by the comments of your friends. YOU are the person who knows the man next to you best and you can judge the situation. It's not worth questioning him for such stupid performances by a stranger. that you are liberal and balanced enough not to make scenes and faces for him, which irritated her even more. Do not allow doubts to creep into you, caused by the comic behavior of an old girl, nor by the comments of your friends. YOU are the person who knows the man next to you best and you can judge the situation. It's not worth questioning him for such stupid performances by a stranger. that you are liberal and balanced enough not to make scenes and faces for him, which irritated her even more. Do not allow doubts to creep into you, caused by the comic behavior of an old girl, nor by the comments of your friends. YOU are the person who knows the man next to you best and you can judge the situation. It's not worth questioning him for such stupid performances by a stranger.