Severe Jealousy, Obsessions, Low Self-esteem

The Story

Hello friends. Like all confused people like me, I don't know where to start my story. I guess I will have to be a little more detailed in order to be understood as much as possible. I am a 23-year-old man, I live abroad, a successful graduate and a working person. I put my story in the "Love and Infidelity" section because my problem focuses mainly on my girlfriend. I'll start a little further. Before I went abroad, I had a relationship with another woman, which unfortunately began to become toxic very quickly. Anyway. I went abroad and the woman "X" and I had a long-distance relationship. I was coming back to Bulgaria, she came to me several times abroad as a guest, but in general the time spent together was extremely small and I constantly understood things about her from common acquaintances which things I did not like at all! The toxicity in our relationship began to get stronger and stronger, a year and a half of torment for both me and her, and finally I couldn't stand it and put an end to it. It wasn't long before I started writing to my current girlfriend, she was an acquaintance who lived in Bulgaria and I was abroad. Things developed extremely quickly between us and we decided to try a connection (despite the distance). Shortly after we started our relationship, I had to return for 10 days and I had the opportunity to get to know her a little better. The 10 days spent with her showed me that she is a wonderful person, very dedicated and loving. Then I went back abroad and the distance was between us again, but that was no problem for both of us. With each passing day, she impressed me more and more (especially mentally, and not visually) and I became more and more attached to her. 5 months later and I found a seasonal job with me (for about 2 months) so we could spend a little more time together and a few days before she left we decided to keep her with me permanently. This is what has happened to this day (we have been living together for 2 and a half years now). During this time, every day our relationship became more stable, more secure .. in short, everything "in" the right direction.

She showed me that I am the only person for her, we love each other very much, the harmony between us reigned constantly. And so until the moment came when my psyche became "sick". A year ago something happened to me and later it turned out that this "something" is called Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and this OCD led to depression. I went to psychotherapy, things calmed down, but I decided to end the sessions, unfortunately there was no time and OCD returned in full force, unfortunately this time completely focused on my girlfriend. I started to fantasize about her, jealousy started knocking on the door, but here I want to emphasize that my jealousy is based mainly on her past and not on the present, ie I am jealous of her past, I understood separately (after many attempts) on her part to cover up the truth, but I understood everything) that her sexual partners are relatively more than mine and this hurt my masculine dignity or if you want to call it ego. From there, a sexual-based complex was born. At the moment, obsessive thoughts (obsessions) do not give me peace, I feel constantly nervous, unfortunately we quarrel with my girlfriend.

She keeps convincing me that I already know everything about her past, but I can't believe her, because, as I mentioned, she was constantly trying to cover it up. But I can say about her that she is a wonderful and modest person who, because of her desire to be loved and her complexes (because of her weight), has allowed some people to take advantage of her sexually in one form or another. She was super naive, blind, stupid and overconfident. The point is that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand, rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion! Please no hate! Greetings !! because, as I have already mentioned, she was constantly trying to cover it up. But I can say about her that she is a wonderful and modest person who, because of her desire to be loved and her complexes (because of her weight), has allowed some people to take advantage of her sexually in one form or another. She was super naive, blind, stupid and overconfident. The point is that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand, rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion!

Please no hate! Greetings !! because, as I have already mentioned, she was constantly trying to cover it up. But I can say about her that she is a wonderful and modest person who, because of her desire to be loved and her complexes (because of her weight), has allowed some people to take advantage of her sexually in one form or another. She was super naive, blind, stupid and overconfident. The point is that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand, rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion! Please no hate! Greetings !! she kept trying to cover it up. But I can say about her that she is a wonderful and modest person who, because of her desire to be loved and her complexes (because of her weight), has allowed some people to take advantage of her sexually in one form or another. She was super naive, blind, stupid and overconfident.

The point is that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand, rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion! Please no hate! Greetings !! she kept trying to cover it up. But I can say about her that she is a wonderful and modest person who, because of her desire to be loved and her complexes (because of her weight), has allowed some people to take advantage of her sexually in one form or another. She was super naive, blind, stupid and overconfident. The point is that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand, rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion! Please no hate! Greetings !! that she is a wonderful and modest person who, because of her desire to be loved and her complexes (because of her weight), has allowed some people to take advantage of her sexually in one form or another. She was super naive, blind, stupid and overconfident. The point is that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand, rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion!

Please no hate! Greetings !! that she is a wonderful and modest person who, because of her desire to be loved and her complexes (because of her weight), has allowed some people to take advantage of her sexually in one form or another. She was super naive, blind, stupid and overconfident. The point is that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand, rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion! Please no hate! Greetings !! who, because of her desire to be loved and her complexes (because of her weight), allowed some of her la * narcotics to take advantage of her sexually in one form or another. She was super naive, blind, stupid and overconfident. The point is that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand, rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion!

Please no hate! Greetings !! who, because of her desire to be loved and her complexes (because of her weight), allowed some la * narcotics to take advantage of her sexually in one form or another. She was super naive, blind, stupid and overconfident. The point is that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand, rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion! Please no hate! Greetings !! that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand the rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion!

Please no hate! Greetings !! that I would not allow myself to separate, but on the other hand the rotten thoughts do not leave me alone and everything reflects on our relationship. I'm starting to can't take it anymore. At the moment I have started therapy again with the same psychologist, as she is already familiar with my problem. I just want some opinion on how the situation I am in sounds to you ?? Who is wrong and who is right? Abe .. in a nutshell some opinion! Please no hate! Greetings !! in a nutshell some opinion! Please no hate! Greetings !! in a nutshell some opinion! Please no hate! Greetings !!

Last Updated
September 09, 2020
Author:
pasqualerotella

Comments