Ruined Because Of A Boy

Hello. Honestly, I don't even know how to start my story because it's so confusing and I even call it tragic. I just want some advice that isn't of the kind "forget it; find another one" I'm 16 and I'm 10th grade. Let's go back to 8th grade when I entered a new school and met new people. Since then, my problems with my classmates have started. I've always been serious and I've always tried to succeed, so I study a lot and of course I get high marks. And it seems out of envy as early as 8th grade (and to this day) some individuals in my class get annoyed with me and insult and curse me. But let me turn my attention to a specific individual. Let's call him boy X. I know it's going to sound weird, but in 8th grade he didn't like me at all and we were constantly arguing and insulting. However, I somehow felt free with him and we often hung out. This, of course, gave rise to rumors and jokes from others. Everyone thought we liked each other and were boyfriends, but that wasn't the case at all. I liked another boy then, and provided that H. was just insulting me, I didn't feel anything for him. But he took that to change. In 9th grade it was the same that I was in the same class with someone else. To me, he was so kind.

We kept teasing and teasing and even started writing to each other. We wrote to each other almost every day for months ... until the middle of the night ... and I rarely last even until 10 pm :) We discovered that we have so many common interests, and how much we liked to discuss the other bastards in our class. .. he began to share many things with me and I felt that this man had faith in me. He kept yelling at me that I was the only person in the class, who had a future and who studies really hard and works hard ... I also supported him a lot in everything. I always told him that if he studied more he would succeed and I helped him and he helped me in my studies. We always stood almost next to each other ... either he was behind me or me. One day he even played with my hands for an hour. Of course, I assumed I fell in love. I had such a good time with him and he was one of the reasons we forgot the last boy I liked (and I didn't have a 0.0000001% chance with him). As in 8th grade, he treated me badly, now it was just the opposite. I've never had many girlfriends ... let alone friends ... and now I could say that I had found a boyfriend. One day I asked him why he had behaved like that with me in 8th grade and he told me that he was very sorry and that he just didn't do well at school then and his hormones were the collar. One of my closest friends was also absolutely sure that he was in love with me and I was flying in the clouds. I had hope! Summer came and we both continued to write to each other ... even if it wasn't absolutely every day ... we wrote to each other at least 2-3 times a week.

Then came school .. the first day I saw that there was something different in it ... to say that it was again in 8th grade. It did not offend me, but often when I told him something or annoyed him, X. started calling me that I was annoying ... One night I decided to apologize to him if I was very annoying to him, but he had forgotten about everything and even told me that I was pleasantly annoying. After about 1 week I wrote to him again ... just then it was the turning point ... he just suddenly started writing me perverted things and that I was a flat floorboard and he was constantly sending me some pictures of boards and so on. I was shocked. Before we wrote to each other, he didn't hint to me about any perverse things ... but now he was just talking like that. I asked him to stop, but it seemed nice to annoy me ... after 1 week we had a little chat on Skype and then I confessed my feelings to him .... and everything just collapsed .... despite all my hopes, it turned out that he had no feelings for me. For him, my emotions were just childish and he started writing to me that he didn't understand how a girl like me liked a bad man like him ... I wasn't ready for that and he just hinted to me that nothing would happen between us and he just had to we remain friends ... I was devastated ... not so much because he cut me off, but because his attitude changed radically ... he stopped talking to me, he stopped annoying me, he stopped writing to me, ... to say that I no longer existed for him. Then we quarreled again on Skype and then he threatened me that if I had done a "circus" at school he would never have spoken to me ... a few months later, by chance, it so happened that we only had to go out. both at work ... while we were alone - to say that everything was the same ... we talked as before and even at the end, when I asked him if he was happy - he said that he was ... and then the next day in class-again I didn't exist to him.

I just can't take it anymore. I cry all the time and I can't understand why he behaves like that with me ... my closest friend just says to forget him, but how provided that I'm with him every day and he has 2 more years until 12th grade ??? I just want advice because I'm so sick I can't take it anymore. I'm not in the mood for anything anymore. I haven't felt joy in months and I'm not attracted to anything. All I do is think about him and feel sorry for myself. Remembering that last year at that time everything was so good ....