Hello. First I want to say that with this topic I do not intend to complain and seek regret, but rather I want to share my problem with someone. So, I'm from Sofia at 18. Lately my life is a complete mess. I feel terrible and with each passing day I seem to sink deeper and deeper. I only have one best friend and one girlfriend that I've only dated a few times this summer. The rest of the time I completely avoid social contacts. I live an anonymous life. I am constantly on the alert as if I had escaped from prison as a criminal. I have a bunch of acquaintances with whom I can exchange a few remarks when we see each other, but I avoid these situations, because if that happens I panic, I get a palpitation, I start to stutter, especially if there is more than one person. I prefer to hide somewhere, not to communicate with anyone. The most interesting thing is that it was not so before. Until a few years ago, I was looking for social contacts and they gave me pleasure. I had friends, we went out, we went to parties, birthdays, walks, to the gym, we kicked, we got together almost every night, but at one point I just decided to back off. I ended my relationship with all but two people. So far I have not had a serious relationship with a girl. Only three in a short time. It's hard to make friends, and the worst part is that I don't want to at all. I like being alone, but I don't know why. There are several things that seriously bother me: - It is difficult to fall asleep, sleep more than 12 hours, it is difficult to wake up without a drop of stimulus for life. Sometimes I don't go to bed at all. I feel depressed, aimless in life, with a blurred consciousness, low concentration even impossible (I can't focus on something specific), slow movements and thought processes, almost insignificant organization of everyday life. I regularly abuse cigarettes, coffee, junk food, cars, masturbation, and sitting aimlessly at the computer. Alcohol and drugs do not work well for me. Some time ago I played sports and many times I tried to return to my old way of life, but it seems impossible to me. I have told my father several times that something is wrong with me, but he says it was from puberty and it will pass, but it does not pass. Now there is a school coming up and everyone will start telling how they spent their summer, and I will watch like a calf in the kennel, because nothing interesting has happened to me. I don't know what's happening to me and how to move forward. I'm not on my own, I'm possessed by negative thoughts and I wonder why I'm in this world at all. I had dreams before, I tried to make them come true, but it never came true. It ruined me mentally. I fully meet the temperament of an introvert - a melancholic. I wonder if there is a way to live a normal life as before or am I doomed to be like that forever. I can't answer this question on my own. If any of you have been in a situation like mine, let me share how things have turned out for him. I ask the moderators to approve my story.
1 memyselfandibitches answered
The condition you describe is very reminiscent of depression (in the part where you talk about the change in sleep, lack of desire and impulse for self-organization, etc.). It makes sense to consult a psychiatrist to overcome this (if it is depression, these are also biochemical processes whose regulation is aided by medication). However, if you do not suffer from something like that, but say that you feel good alone, then what is it that worries you? Having two friends, especially if they are decent people, is a fortune. Many people can't brag about that and call their acquaintances friends, so they look like a whole pack. Everyone has a certain temperament, some of us are more self-centered and carefully choose our environment, others are extremely open to new people, but are omnivorous. Both options have their downsides, as long as you're comfortable,