Relaxation

   Question to fathers. How do you go to work every day, work, come back, shop and help with the children on vacation? What is your relaxation, how do you endure? It gets easier as you grow older, yes. It is easier if there are grandparents. Parents need to find time for themselves. You talk to the father, leave them to him for 1-2 days and go somewhere. Or for one night, you go somewhere again. So with him. He leaves them to you and he goes somewhere for 1-2 days. If there are grandparents who are adequate, you can go somewhere together. We all have a hard time, but that's it :)

   Your great-grandmothers had 10 children each and were happy if they survived each birth, which was then like a lottery. Now you have big problems. Well, if you can't raise one or two children, those with burqas come. In Austria, they have already felt it, only the Germans still insist on their neoliberal dogmas, but one day they will run and hit us.

   How did I succeed? Well, if you don't delve too deeply into his imaginary needs. Mothers of 1-2 children pay too much attention to them, quite often invent duties that the child does not really need. And in reality, mothers of more than 6-8-10 children, not only grow their children, but also their mothers find the time for relaxation that you dream of. Personally, I left the baby to take care of himself as much as his age allows, there were no such things to serve him and to feel indebted to him, and here is the child I am talking about today studying higher education. I only spent the most time talking and telling him. As he grew older, my conversation turned into conversations between us. Ever since I was 3-4 months old, I explained to him that I couldn't carry him and he had to stay in the stroller. at 10 months passes since then I have kept him on my hands only if he is sick with a fever. At about 9-10 he started to bring me clean diapers from the cupboard to change, and I waited sitting on the couch, then with the clean diapers he went to throw the dirty one in the bucket. At about 1.5 years old I told him how big it is now, and small babies need diapers and we went and gave a small baby the rest of a pack of diapers, since then my pants are not dirty, he said to himself, he learned to be responsible for his pants , both on the basis that it is already big, and on the basis of helping the little ones to have clean diapers for them. So we gave a pacifier to a stork to take to the next baby, which will bring to a mother, so we are big, we do not need a pacifier. At about 2 years old, he started cleaning his room to put all his toys in a basket, a little later he just wanted to vacuum, and I left him sitting on a stool in the room, and he was "cleaning". From the age of three it was his duty to bring a basket for stretching and to take the washed clothes out of the washing machine and carry them to the terrace, so that I could spread them, of course, giving them to me one by one, telling him which clothes. to hand me. Thus, he both learns the name of the clothes / which is a sweater, which is a T-shirt /, he also learns the colors / the blue T-shirt, the green, the red socks /. You will ask if it is possible, oh if it is possible and how. At the age of 5, he only changed his sheets and stretched the clean one, of course in the beginning, but it took him an awful lot of time, and he hadn't done very well, but so what. Their enviable patience is rewarded with success. Children never get discouraged, they follow their goals, overcoming any obstacles. From the very beginning, when they walk - they fall, get up, bump into the ball, stumble in a chair, hit the edge of the table and move forward more and more confidently. Let the children learn on their own, let them help you, so they both feel useful and become more independent. Yes, when they start doing something new for them, you will have to look after them, it will take them a long time, sit in the room not very close to them and wait, trust the child will cope.

   Basically - or you find a grandmother to take care of for 2-3 days, a colleague, a friend (if possible with her children - it's easy to exchange services - once she looks after the children, another time you have hers and the kids have friends ), but avoid fathers (yes, there are some), that the children come back with two kilos on top and only talk about computer games. If that works, the other two things are more expensive. 1 - Babysitter, for 2-3 days. It literally means letting someone live in the house and look after the children. Or even if there are two, they want to change. 2 - You go to a place where they will take care of the children, but the prices are eheeee .... "Your great-grandmothers had 10 children and were happy if they survived each birth" Mine had 3 children. You don't know them, so don't talk.

   2 And if you think you have so many children, we can't afford that much. Don't look at the past, it's past and it's not quite the same now.

   Number 3, great commentary and an excellent approach to education! Hopefully more mothers will learn a lesson on how to raise a child. I have an acquaintance who has a child of 5 years already, and still feeds him in the mouth for 1-2 hours, while he is shaking that he does not want to eat and could not eat without being in front of the TV. And outside, after a 10-minute walk, she was very tired and she had to wear it the rest of the time while pushing the bike or the scooter. Not to mention that in the store, if he doesn't get what he wants, he makes circuses, gets hysterical and yells like a savage. At home, she runs after him all day and he is not taught to play even for a few minutes. When we talk to her, he comes and starts roaring why she talks to other people and doesn't pay attention to him. He is on the tablet, phone, laptop or TV all the time and only watches nonsense. Not even animations, but some videos of others playing video games and swearing. He learns from them and can now swear better than he can say anything meaningful. Let everyone draw their own conclusions as to whether the children are to blame for their poor upbringing or their parents. As for relaxation - I know couples with 2-3 children who go on vacations and trips with them and everyone is happy. So the child behaves the way you raise him. If you let it get on your head, you will not see a minute of peace. If you find the right approach, you will make a little friend and helper. As for relaxation - I know couples with 2-3 children who go on vacations and trips with them and everyone is happy. So the child behaves the way you raise him. If you let it get on your head, you will not see a minute of peace. If you find the right approach, you will make a little friend and helper. As for relaxation - I know couples with 2-3 children who go on vacations and trips with them and everyone is happy. So the child behaves the way you raise him. If you let it get on your head, you will not see a minute of peace. If you find the right approach, you will make a little friend and helper.

   Abe, this site has truly become a haunt of complexes. The author asked a normal question how to relax among all the responsibilities for the child, and they lined up to explain how great mothers they are and their grandmothers, because their child studied higher (incredible achievement) and how nothing happens from the author. Abe people, I understand that you have dissatisfaction in life (and I have like everyone else), but do not kill them on the backs of people. And take these pills, please. Can't he at least formulate the comment as a well-meaning advice? Why should it be in such a scathing-edifying spirit? One cannot ask a normal question here and the eruption of complexes begins immediately. Instead of encouraging her that she is interested in how to raise her child more effectively and that she is looking after her child in general ...

   Number 7, very correct rendering! I'm not the author.

   Author, I have thought about your words, I am pregnant and for the moment my girlfriends who have given birth have darkened the years of motherhood, because a person wants, does not want to be isolated, less contacts, all this affects. One of these women told me that learning a language had helped her, and during that time, the other a sport, the point was to have something that attracted you as a hobby or interest. To give him time, albeit a little. I can't tell you anything about the trips, there is also a financial part here - who can afford it and how much. One of my friends had a day of the week, every week for example Monday, her mother took care of the child and she knew that this day was free for her and she could diversify.

   Number 7, number 3 gave advice for example. This is how a child is brought up and this is how one thinks. If the author takes an example and starts acting like her today, tomorrow she will have more time for herself. You are very vicious - if someone shares a good example, pokes your nose in envy, does not try to help you. What about rural thinking? Higher will be the least achievement of her child, because she knows how to manage only and be independent of the least. Not like most parents - let him be addicted, let's blame him for not being able to do anything, and hopefully he will never separate from his mother's skirt and live with us and look after us for old age. Thanks to the woman. One in a million is with such a consciousness to educate. Take an example, do not envy.

   From №3 to №7 I watch you attack me personally without reading the author's question, and it is "How do you manage to relax" and not, as you say, "how can she relax". She asked us how, and I answered. And your opinion, to shout BRAVO in one voice about a woman looking after her child, surprised me a lot, is this the new fashion, to applaud a mother because you looked after the child? Should we applaud the fathers for going to work? I shout to take to the streets and applaud, to the drivers, for example, that they drive their own cars! :) Yes, you sound so stupid to me №7.

   Hello, I took out a card for spa and fitness, on Sunday I left the child with his father and went to relax in the spa. And a few more times a week. I also relaxed with shopping or massages. In the evening I went to a disco after the child and the father fell asleep, but in the morning I get up with the child and do not sleep. Or dinner with friends, the child is watched by the father again. But it is best to leave the children with their grandmother and go out with her husband. Your children, at least the big one doesn't go to kindergarten? My walk. Separately, I do not tolerate any whims, roars and grunts that burden me. I make him dress himself and collect his toys. He is 4. My father and I broke up and now it's even easier, my father helps, his mother helps, I have a new man who takes care of the child and me, we go on vacation often, and his father and grandmother watching. I think it's right, grandparents to take care of sometimes, and parents to spend the weekend together, take a spa break or whatever they like. Because otherwise you will be nerdy, you will not be a full-fledged mother and wife, you may become irritable or suffer from stress. And the grandmothers and even more the grandfathers, not to stumble, but to help their children, because when they need help, they will look for their children again.

   11, is not specific to you and is not about the question, but about the tone and that you are pretending to be great on her back. It just occurred to me more on this site how great everyone is and not just on this topic.

   12 I am the author, yes, one is in the garden, but to me the uniformity comes in more. My husband doesn't want to force his mother to look after the children for the weekend, especially since there are two, but it's also not OK with the idea of ​​me going somewhere alone.

   Hello and I am like you, my son is almost 3, the daughter is 10 months old. My relaxation will seem super strange to you, but it works for me. I enrolled for a master's degree. It is part-time, I have 3 weeks of lectures all day and then exams only on Saturdays and Sundays. I enrolled in child psychology and it's very interesting to me, I don't go to all the lectures, sometimes I go at the end of the day just to re-shoot them. Here are the benefits: 1. You do something for yourself that is meaningful and lasting and gives you personal satisfaction. 2. You have new contacts with whom you talk about various social topics, not only about children, and you remember that there is life outside of motherhood. 3. People around you also find your commitments important and help you. Isn't it one thing to say I have an exam, it's another thing I want a manicure. Although it's not bad to be rewarded with that after the exam. Now the master's degree is over, 2 years have passed very quickly and I am thinking of enrolling in a language course. When else will I not work so long and be able to do these things, in my case just never. In a year or two the little one will go to the garden, I to work, if after work I go to the language I should not see my children.

   15 Very nice, but who takes care of the children during the training?

   Hello, Number 16, my husband, my mother and my sister take care of me the most. My mother-in-law too, she is a housewife and is always available. She came home for the whole lectures. I prefer the children to stay at home, they have everything, when I come home we are together and I am most at ease. It also happens that they sleep with their grandmothers. In general, it was not as complicated as it sounds, because we had the program for the year ahead and a lot of time to get organized. Of course, before I even seriously considered it, I shared my wish with my relatives, they approved it and were ready to help, there is no way to do it on my own initiative.

   № 3 gave the best comment. A sensible woman knows how to organize things so that she can rest and read and take care of the child. The author should read her comment well. Why should he be bored at home and not go out with the child? If there are girlfriends they can sit in a cafe, go shopping. As long as the child is educated enough not to be pampered, scream or whine about something. Which again depends on the mother. On vacation, picnic, etc. You can go with children, it's not the same as alone with the boyfriend before, but no one forced them to have children.