I am a boy of 20 years now, but I have severe family problems with my mother. I have almost no good relations with my older sister. We are 15 years apart from her. I will explain to you why we have such a difference and where the problem is. I was not a planned child. The reason they made me was just to replace my deceased older brother. He died at the age of 21, and my sister was then 14. He died in a car accident. From day 1 of my birth, I have openly heard that if he were alive, I would not have been born. My grandparents cooked it for me many times while they were alive, because considering the age at which my brother died, it is clear that I am a jerk (my mother gave birth to me at the age of 45 and my father was 47). People wanted 2 children. But these constant comparisons with my brother, whom I don't even know, irritate me. They make me angry, they don't oppress me, but they make me angry. He was their favorite son, the firstborn child, they gave birth to him young, they had energy, etc., I understand all this, but sometimes they do not feel and overdo it. They idealize it, in front of me, but the realities are different. I had a cruel scandal with ours, I moved out because I was tired of them. My sister is big, my mother is a long time ago, she has a career, a husband, she lives in another city, I have never had any, but really no contact with her except for family gatherings. I peed her pants when she was a prom girl, I remember coming home from university on Saturdays. When I started 1st grade, she got married, gave birth to her first child, etc., we just aren't like brother and sister, we didn't support each other, because there's just no way.
So I quarreled with ours. They keep muttering to me, your brother, your brother. I'm tired, and I said - I don't have a brother, my brother has died and it's time to accept him. Comparisons started again ... and that was it. The curtain fell. I don't want to talk about a dead man, but let me at least confess to you. He died in an accident, yes, but he wiped out two more people with him! He also drove drunk! I told them that if he had come to life, his most likely place would have been in prison. There is no basis for comparison between me and him. He was of medium height, I am bigger and taller. I study and work and sit next to ours because they are old people now, I don't hire my sister at all! My brother was a neighborhood lightweight, I am a cultured and considerate person. My brother was unreasonable, constantly abusing alcohol, I do not lick. I don't deserve this treatment. Has anyone lived such a life? This is not life to tell you, at least not at home. A man who died 21 years ago resounds his name every day in our country, the photos adorn the shelves, there are portraits. I'm not a psychiatrist, but this is already madness. I am 5 times better than this unknown brother of mine, whom I have never seen, but as if he is my companion! I have already started living with the thought that there is such a person in our house, because he is talked about every day as if he were alive! At the age of 67 and 65, instead of looking after their grandchildren, they simply cannot live in another cell. They are at the cemetery like clockwork, they even celebrate his birthday.
1 ulchon answered
I sincerely sympathize with you. Their pain is great, they have lost their first child and yet I do not protect them at all. The way they treat you is ugly, to compare your children, even less with your deceased child and to tease him that he is "for replacement" is like complete nonsense !! In your place, I would draw one for them, even though they are parents. You do not deserve such treatment from your mother and father !! One day they will bitterly regret treating you that way.