Perverted - A Long Unimagined Story

I am writing this, after another stormy evening with him - my friend, friend - comrade, understand me. Do not be left with the impression that there is love. There is no love and it is so easy. We've known each other for many years, the lunatics who make you daydream about children's thrills and nonsense. He taught me what you smoke and say "Mom, Dad and how they come" or something like that. I told him about my first cycle, my first sex. His parents called me when he was running away from class. The years went by, and we piled our earrings on our ears, as if proud that we never learned from our stupid mistakes and shortcomings. He was never my best friend. Because I knew what I was and he knew what I was. He is neither a good friend nor I a good friend. But he accepted me. And I him. We were the same. It so happened that his One Love coincided with my One Love. The one that breaks you. And you are never the same. I could see it wasn't the same. I saw how he loved her, I saw another.

But I saw it too, that it wasn't worth it. I just didn't have the right to interfere. He did the same. So for several years we broke our heads separately. We saw each other very rarely, for one drink. We talked on holidays. I knew his One and he knew my One. After a while we became more frequent because it was convenient for us. I wasn't crying on his shoulder when Mr. Sole put on my engagement ring and sank to the ground. And he said nothing about the One who dragged him by the thousands and married a wealthy gentleman. We talked about business, we even worked together for a while. We talked about time, about the end of the world, about others, but never about us. In fact, we are more than comfortable. He is a real man, I know a lot about men from him. And I give him our female tricks. So, the two at hand are always sophisticated, modern and smiling - we enter a club ... and the stories begin. Sometimes I present him as a cousin, sometimes we are just friends (for poor, naive people). I introduce him to my colleagues, women I know, who call me in tears and in love days later. He is an appetizing man - a great figure, manners, intellect, financially stable. Only his soul is dead.

And I know it because mine is dead too. In our last conversations, I often tell him that what we are doing is childish, that it is not fair to people. He agrees and repents. Until the next day. When we go out and look for new victims. Some who seek love, and we give them only lies and mockery. I'm sorry we're like that. When I look at it, it's like looking in a mirror. I am in his eyes. The same. And so we got used to it. And I knew him. He might not be like that, he wasn't a bad boy. He has the body and gaze of a beast, but he once had the soul of a kitten. I sometimes feel the same soul.

When I'm worried when I have a fever. And like a worried dad, he puts a scarf on my nose when it's cold outside. When we fall asleep, after another hard night, something is written on my back that I still can't understand. When he kisses me on the forehead and tells me to be careful. He often told me to be careful not to fall in love with any of those we play. I quote: ".. darling, you know, you and I can't have such feelings, we used to be able to, now we're different". He's been gone for a while now. But he will return. And again the vicious circle begins - from alcohol, clubs, men, women. As if there is no way out. Sure, because I do not want to. And so I like it. I wonder if there is a more hypocritical friendship than ours? I ask him. He is silent and bows his head. Do you become what you meet? Or have we been the same before? Is this a good acquaintance, a friendship? To lie on convenience and benefits? I'm sorry.

What's more, my parents adore him. And his parents, his whole family love me as their child and they always told me how much they admired me. Only if they knew what we were. And what we do. It's not bad for us, but ... I'm interested in how the story will develop. Are we going to break these chains? It's stupid because I miss him. But I don't know which one. Is it sex? Not that it's not amazing, but it's not. I think I miss my Gemini. He who builds walls to see who will destroy them, and there is no one. He who suffers and can love, but from so many changing masks he has forgotten who is under them? I miss. I can't wait for him to come back in a few days and shine like the Ideal Fools again - the ones after whom everyone turns and wants, but lives in solitude. I apologize for making you sympathetic to my sick, chaotic thoughts. One piece of advice from a grown girl: Choose your friends carefully, because sometimes people get close because of ... nasty circumstances and with impure intentions.

And last: If you see a tall, handsome man, stylishly dressed, accompanied by a nice, young lady - and if they stand a few chairs apart, do not kiss and hug, beware - this is us, and you may be a victim. Such sacrifice as I once was. And He. Kisses after which all turn and desire, and live in solitude. I apologize for making you sympathetic to my sick, chaotic thoughts. One piece of advice from a grown girl: Choose your friends carefully, because sometimes people get close because of ... nasty circumstances and with impure intentions. And last: If you see a tall, handsome man, stylishly dressed, accompanied by a nice, young lady - and if they stand a few chairs apart, do not kiss and hug, beware - this is us, and you may be a victim. Such sacrifice as I once was. And He. Kisses after which all turn and desire, and live in solitude. I apologize for making you sympathetic to my sick, chaotic thoughts. One piece of advice from a grown girl: Choose your friends carefully, because sometimes people get close because of ... nasty circumstances and with impure intentions. And last: If you see a tall, handsome man, stylishly dressed, accompanied by a nice, young lady - and if they stand a few chairs apart, do not kiss and hug, beware - this is us, and you may be a victim.

Such sacrifice as I once was. And He. Kisses nasty circumstances and with impure intentions. And last: If you see a tall, handsome man, stylishly dressed, accompanied by a nice, young lady - and if they stand a few chairs apart, do not kiss and hug, beware - this is us, and you may be a victim. Such sacrifice as I once was. And He. Kisses nasty circumstances and with impure intentions. And lastly: If you see a tall, handsome man, stylishly dressed, accompanied by a nice, young lady - and if they stand a few chairs apart, do not kiss and hug, beware - this is us, and you may be a victim. Such sacrifice as I once was. And He. Kisses