I am a 25-year-old boy. It's about family relationships, my father and my grandmother (my father's mother). My parents are divorced. My father is hardly present in my conscious life. For as long as I can remember, he has always been somewhere, and when he returned I received slaps, fights and reproaches. I grew up under the care of my grandmother, who raised me with a lot of love and dedication. Over the years, I managed everything on my own. My father was gone, neither on my first day of school nor on my last (prom). I enrolled in all kinds of courses, met and interacted with many people. So before I finished 12th grade, I became a well-recognized person in society, highly valued and respected by people who knew me, a professional in work and education. At the time, I thought that everything I did, I did so that I could get the much-desired approval from my father. But not. At each of my personal or professional successes, I was reproached for having high self-esteem and an ego without coverage. I was selfish in his eyes. He was constantly suppressing me. After 12th grade, I wanted to go to a specific university. I was flatly denied, instead of being supported. Then I opposed for the first time and said that I would apply for another, but only in it, instead of releasing documents in 5-6 units. My diploma was strong and I knew I would be 100% accepted. I did it in vain because my father killed my desire to follow my dream. Since then, the war between me and my father began. At one point I wanted to go on a brigade to the United States. I did not want money from the family, I paid for it myself, I wanted support, and I received reproaches and 24-hour telephone harassment for several months before my departure. I totally broke up with my father, a few days after his birthday. Throughout the summer, while I was on a brigade, he did not call me once. Offended by the fact that he didn't do it, I didn't congratulate him on the holiday. After 3-4 days he wrote me ironic thanks for not congratulating him on the holiday. I totally screamed and wrote him a long letter, including 10 points in which he failed as a father. At the end of the letter, I told him that it was a silent letter to me and that I stopped communicating with him. During all the years (seven) while I was in the unit I took care, sometimes from a distance, sometimes on the spot for my grandmother. I taught her to use social media, YouTube and a bunch of other things. She was a constant observer of the war between me and my father, and she was between a rock and a hard place. However, he always said that I should listen to my father and he never defended my position. For 7 years I asked her many times to go and do full research, because health is wrong. She was always making excuses, and many times I caught her by chance because she was hiding important things from me. She has played theater in front of me many times to blame me, and in the last two years I have been reproached for not understanding anything. When I want to talk about money or her health, I get the answer that she doesn't want to at this very moment, she avoids these topics and, even the tetra begins, that she raises high blood pressure to blame me. So far, we have never had a conversation in which she does not get angry and scream. After seven years of effort, I finally raised my hands and refused to communicate with her. I also told her that everything has its limits. I also told her that I was a full member of the family. But since neither my opinion is respected in this family, nor does she want us to sit down and talk like normal people, he has nothing more to say to himself and do whatever he wants. I told her that both she and my father had insulted me enough and that it would be best for them and for me not to see each other again. A few days later I packed my bags. It wasn't a roar, it wasn't a seizure theater, it wasn't a blood test. I got in the car. I went, took my girlfriend and she and I went on vacation. Along the way, I had about 50 missed by both my father and my grandmother. Then I read a message from my father that I was a traitor, and from my grandmother, Chi, he ironically thanked me for going to the emergency room because of me. My girlfriend and I turned off our phones and separated from the rest of the world. After all this, I rarely communicate with them enough to make sure they are alive and well. A few days later I packed my bags. It wasn't a roar, it wasn't a seizure theater, it wasn't a blood test. I got in the car. I went, took my girlfriend and she and I went on vacation. Along the way, I had about 50 missed by both my father and my grandmother. Then I read a message from my father that I was a traitor, and from my grandmother, Chi, he ironically thanked me for going to the emergency room because of me. My girlfriend and I turned off our phones and separated from the rest of the world. After all this, I rarely communicate with them enough to make sure they are alive and well. A few days later I packed my bags. It wasn't a roar, it wasn't a seizure theater, it wasn't a blood test. I got in the car. I went, took my girlfriend and she and I went on vacation. Along the way, I had about 50 missed by both my father and my grandmother. Then I read a message from my father that I was a traitor, and from my grandmother, Chi ironically thanked me that they went to the emergency room because of me. My girlfriend and I turned off our phones and separated from the rest of the world. After all this, I rarely communicate with them enough to make sure they are alive and well. Chi ironically thanked me for going to the emergency room because of me. My girlfriend and I turned off our phones and separated from the rest of the world. After all this, I rarely communicate with them enough to make sure they are alive and well. Chi ironically thanked me for going to the emergency room because of me. My girlfriend and I turned off our phones and separated from the rest of the world. After all this, I rarely communicate with them enough to make sure they are alive and well.
Answers 4
Well okay. What to say?
I don't know why, but I personally didn't see the author's problem. In fact, I see it, but standing on the other side, I see the same problem, so for me the problems in this family are caused by exactly the same relationship between the father and the son. Honestly, I don't understand my son, what did he expect from his father? The claim that he did it on his own from first grade sounds ridiculous. He missed his father on the first day of school and at the ball, and how many children in Bulgarian fathers attend the first day of school, in my opinion the father not attending school on that day is completely normal, I do not understand why people like the author consider him abnormal ? And what did the author expect his father to take him by the hand at the ball? There should be reciprocity in a close relationship between two people. But too close to a parent somehow accustoms children that they can not cope alone, the author's father has achieved something good, as soon as his son has the confidence that he manages everything from kindergarten, better than the son to learn to do it yourself as soon as possible no. If today's topic is patience, we should look at the patience shown by all participants in the story. The patience shown by both the author and his father or grandmother. And looking at the story, it seems to me that the patience shown by the author's elderly relatives is much greater. Just look at the author has the confidence that he took care of his grandmother by teaching her to use a computer, and he does not even realize that his care for his grandmother is a drop compared to what his grandmother has made as an effort for him for the last 25 years. His father, on the other hand, left his son to develop and learn to cope on his own, and appeared brighter only when he needed to be scolded "to get him on the right track when the child turned," or to lower him to the ground when he was going to fly in the clouds too. Whether he used slaps, there is nothing to blame him for, because 20 years ago slapping children was normal, Euro-Atlantic values had not yet reached Bulgaria. The fact that the author thought that his whole life was a goal to get his father's approval, in fact he received it regularly, but he did not realize it, because he expected his father, when approving his actions, to fall into euphoria, perhaps, and the father has shown his approval much more humbly than is understood. And the current situation of the author is completely normal for his age, to separate himself, to build a family with the girlfriend and to hear father and grandmother, as much as to hear how they are, is something completely normal, but why does the author accept this situation as a punishment over his relatives? Maybe because when they separated, the grandmother played the normal circus for women, first to get angry and scream in order to "wean off" the already grown author and then roar when the author was packing. I even think that over 70% of parents in the world use this method to make a young man separate and start his own life. First they scream, get angry, mutter, then roar as he goes out. Otherwise you will not be able to explain to the young man that the moment when he himself has to think about his own roof, about the food on his table, about washing his clothes,
At 25 and still green !? "Boy" at 25, not boys under 18, you should be a mature man, but you're not. And the father is not more mature when he is so petty. You did the right thing, but whether things will happen to your girlfriend, it is not known how long she will endure, women want mature men, not boys!
Don't take it to heart people are like that no one is ever happy to fuck them ... only if there is no money your grandmother and help to know that you are grateful that she raised you do not explain to her just help and close to break heads