Partnership Without Love

There are such "partnerships", but it is rather a coexistence, from which there is little benefit or meaning. This "partnership" is built on mutual benefit, but not on feelings. There is no self-sacrifice, no mutual help, no understanding, there is only mutual benefit. In the event of an event that changes things (such as illness) and one no longer benefits the other, this automatically terminates the "partnership" because one no longer benefits the other and the other is left to the whims of fate because they have no commitment, feelings and appreciation for it. It is beginning to be seen as a burden that we need to get rid of. If such a "partnership" suits you, then it's for you, but I don't believe it. And if common children are involved, then it becomes tragic for them, because they are left with the impression that this is normal, that there is no love, only use. Then they will grow up in distrust, as adults will have problems with attachment and will only look to use incl. and their friends until they begin to avoid them. They will be doomed to loneliness for life. As for physical attraction, in its independent form it passes very quickly - only for days or months. If there is nothing but it, it passes and the reason for this semblance of partnership disappears and it falls apart. But if, in addition to physical attraction, there is also mental attraction (feelings), then the former does not disappear because it is nourished by the latter. But even if for some reason it disappears, the partnership would not break down, because there is another reason for it. At the same time, the partnership would be full-fledged, not coercive. Finally, I will tell you that feelings are not transient, as long as you have found the right person. I'm sorry that you were left with such an impression, but you just didn't meet the right person with whom you would grow old with a clear conscience. You may be frustrated with previous relationships or misunderstandings between your parents, but that doesn't mean it's the rule. It's just a matter of the right person.

I agree with No. 1 and I do not believe in what you call "partnership". I do not know of such a marriage, which has ended well. Yes, love is definitely irrational, it can lead to problems, but without it over time the relationship cannot withstand the real obstacles in life - for example, what do you do when the person no longer meets your "Conditions" - in case of illness, disability , unemployment, impotence and so on? WHAT DO WE DO THEN? Everything happen. The problem with account connections (or "partnerships" as you call them) is that when the account no longer meets your expectations, you (or he) leave. Such a relationship cannot be relied on after 10-20-50 years, and people who have been "on the bill" all their lives end up dying alone. Remember that apart from today, there is also tomorrow, and from many accounts we end up with nothing.

There can be this type of relationship without emotions and the only explanation is that it is about interest. Love can become something much more, it can develop, it can be something very big, while your interest is only interest and it certainly portends a lot of infidelities.

Well, such connections may exist, purely theoretically, but think - What is such a connection for you (or someone at all)? Yes, sex is a super nice thing, yes, there is freedom at a level where it is not in the relationship, but do you feel safe? Do you feel in your place, with a person you rely on and know that he will be with you, no matter what happens? Not naturally. I tell you from experience that the many bad sides of feelings and conversion are worth comparing with the good sides. At least I wouldn't choose the option you offer, because that's how you doom yourself to old age.

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Each person is individual. There are super many people who are with someone without investing any feelings, but only interest in a certain person or his situation / social environment / intimate life /. This is exactly the type of relationship that breaks down sooner or later. I hate relationships with no prospects for the future, so I don't think there is any point in such / empty / contacts that only fill your list with friends and nothing more. So ... For example, I couldn't live with someone if I didn't love them. And whether the love between us will decrease or disappear over time - depends on both. 'Nachi, first of all - both must be tolerant of each other and absolutely equal, ie to complement each other in each paragraph. If love diminishes or is forgotten due to various problems, etc. - two people compromise with each other, go through different cataclysms until they get to where they will feel good together and find the best solution for themselves. BUT, if there is a total difference over the years and one of the two (or both) have crossed the line in their relationship, then separation is inevitable. But I say again - everything is individual ... there are many people who would ask for a lie / infidelity / betrayal, there are those who would not - and it all ends that way. So ... Author, if you live without love and with people with whom you feel empty - it makes no sense, you will not achieve anything. If you choose to live with real people and be real to them yourself - you can only win. And that one day whether love will decrease or disappear - no one knows. Sorry, but everyone wants security, it's not just you ... but whether he will get it for life - no one knows. So, take a risk, don't live in vain;].

Yes, it is absolutely possible for such a 'partnership' to be successful, the most important thing is to be absolutely honest with your partner. It is even possible to have children and get along better than many families supposedly built out of love.

From the author: This is not a partnership for mutual benefit, but a partnership based on something else - friendship. I think that the thing described by me is rare and I will hardly get an answer here. A partnership that will actually withstand all obstacles, because the basis is friendship and sincere attitude, not any personal interest, and just as a best friend is a companion in a person's life, so this partner is the same, but something more. Moreover, which is not love.

To the author 8: I will tell you again that this is a delusion and you refuse to accept it. You wrote in the hope that someone would say "yes, it's possible." But I will be realistic and tell you "no, it is not possible". If it were possible, there would have been such partnerships by now and you would hardly have found hot water. You want to kneel the devil in the air, but there is no such model and this is not accidental. It just doesn't lead to anything good in the long run. If there are such partnerships, they have become such later and under duress, but even then they do not lead to anything - they lead either to divorce or to meaningless cohabitation due to lack of courage or immaturity. You say friendship ... Did it occur to you by chance that sooner or later a person begins to feel the need for true love, and not only "friendship, but also something more"? When this person next to you reaches this stage of his life, you will wither, don't you remember? And if you have children, they will remain as in an unharvested vineyard. Not to mention that he is not really engaged in love, he will need to change sexual partners. And when it starts to attract different women, you will not be very happy, because more or less you will have to comply with them. Besides, friendship and cohabitation are radically different things, and if you don't realize it, I'm sorry, but think childishly. It's one thing to be friends with someone, it's another to live with that friend. Then everyday life appears. Who pays the bills, who hasn't cleaned, who farted and the like. There are even in normal families with love more or less, and what is left for this type of partnership. Plus, one often makes compromises because no one is perfect. BUT when there is love, he makes them without weighing on him, even unconsciously sometimes. Simply because she loves him and also knows that he is loved. But if there is only friendship, then these compromises will weigh you down seriously and at some point you will come together a lot and you will explode and say to yourself "I'm fucking your partnership". Make no mistake, this will not lead you to anything good in the long run. Just find your soul mate and all this pointless dialogue will lose its meaning for you. I'm telling you for good. If nature has "invented" love, then it is not accidental and has its role. If it was just a friendship, there would be no need for love and it would not exist.

I completely agree with № 7, and the rest of you are very naive and probably young and inexperienced. What do you think there is eternal love? Or that if this love that you felt in the beginning disappears, you have to divorce and destroy everything built for years? Don't think that your mothers and fathers and grandparents are dying for each other, just respect each other and their partnership is built on the basis of a friendship built over the years.

We can only guess. Sometimes where there are strong feelings but no understanding and partnership there is a complete catastrophe. Or strong feelings and just a casual glance at a stranger on the street - a ruptured scandal, beatings ... And knowing how many relationships there are in which there is no more love and there has never been a partnership? !! Do you know that such a relationship that asks the author after a good partnership can give birth to great love and a truly happy family. And you can be disgusted with each other when you do not love each other and in the morning you see your faces after sleep. Because only love can tolerate the small everyday crap. do you know from which bush which rabbit will come out